Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Who Gets The Fat Vote: Obama? Gingrich

I Fat Bastard, have been pondering the question or who will win the fat vote. I have consulted with some of the most astute political fatlings and I am still in a quandry but I do have some thoughts and predictions.
The Chef loves the ladies and the ladies love the Chef.

According to the Chef, fat voters will split among gender and geographical lines. The Chef: "Them BBW's and SSBBW's will be votin for the Barrack God bless em but them fat crackas will be voting for Newt."

Fat males will be voting primarily for :pig: Republican :pig: Newt Gingrich. There are many reasons for this. Gingrich is a fat guy and while he is not even close to Chris Christie  he's a hell of a lot fatter than Obama. Fat guys admire a corpulent man like Gingrich because he's one fat guy that gets laid a lot! Most fat guys only sex is with Rosie Palm and her five sisters. Gingrich gets more ass than a toilet seat and that's more than former fatling Bill Clinton. Gingrich once said of his first or second wife, "She not pretty enough to be a president's wife and besides she has cancer."
That's fattitude.
This makes :pig:Newt Gingrich:pig: the hogzilla of alpha pigs. OINK! He's a hero to fat boys everywhere. A lot of fat guys would like to be a womanizer like Newt Gingrich but they just don't have his sweep. Fat guys will be voting for Newt.
President Obama will do great with the sows. Women swoon over him and so do fat girls. The like skinny guys because skinny guy often leave some food on their plate and as the late Tupac Shakur so adroitly pointed out, "Skinny niggas can really throw the dick." and The first lady always has a smile on her face so Barack can really throw the dick. Fat girls are jealous of Michelle but they love Barrack and always go for guys who are way way way out of their league.

Obama's home town is Chicago and Chicago is one of the fattest cities in the world. Obama will carry the fat vote in major metropolitan areas and Obama is courting those voters with a lot of power eating of his own.
The White House is courting fat female voters with big thick wieners. Fat girls love big thick wieners!

:pig: Republicans:pig: are working much harder and  for the fat vote. The Republicans have big time pig time money behind them and the following article from Mother Jones explains.

:pig:Republicans:pig: Court the Fat Vote

| Thu Jun. 2, 2011 8:54 AM PDT

There isn't much dispute in the public health world that Americans are too fat. A quarter of all Americans living in 39 states are clinically obese, numbers that have expanded dramatically over the past 20 years. So you'd think that when the Obama administration tries to actually do something to address the obesity epidemic, most everyone would be on board. With the current crop of Republicans in Congress, though, you'd be mistaken.

The Washington Post reports that House :pig: Republicans:pig: have decided to slash away at public health measures designed to combat obesity, especially those aimed at children. On Tuesday, a House appropriations committee decided to do away with the first new upgrade of federal nutritional standards for public school meals in 15 years. Making the meals lower in fat and sugar and adding in more fruits and veggies, they concluded, simply cost too much. And those regulations passed last year that would require fast-food outlets to post the calorie information of their fattening offerings? Well, House :pig:Republicans:pig: want to exempt 7-Elevens, grocery stores, and other businesses from those rules. Americans apparently don't need to know that the Double Gulp they're about the buy contains a whopping 600 calories. Children, who are assaulted daily with advertising for horrible, fatty, sugar-laden food will get no relief from :pig:Republicans:pig:, who have told the Department of Agriculture to back away from crafting even voluntary guidelines for companies that pitch food to kids.

Clearly, :pig:Republicans:pig: are pandering to their big-ag and corporate food processing donors here. But by doing so, it sure looks like they are giving new meaning to the party's "big tent." They aren't setting a particularly good example, at least, when it comes to taking obesity seriously. But perhaps they don't care that much.
Gov. Chris "Crisco" Christie flaunting fabulous fat folds.

One of the party's leading lights, the heavyset New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, once told Don Imus, "I am setting an example Don. We have to spur our economy. Dunkin Donuts, International House of Pancakes, those people need to work too.”  Christie this week took a state helicopter to his kid's baseball game, got in a black sedan that drove him 100 yards to the baseball diamond and then back to the helicopter. Apparently walking was just out of the question. :pig:Republicans:pig: are trying desperately to get Christie to run for president.

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