Monday, February 13, 2012

Whitney Houston Killed By Bathtub

Drugs did not kill Whitney Houston -- BATHING did!

Yeah that's right...sure she was a hopeless junkie but did drugs DROWN her? No. The bathtub did. Jim Morrison too. Why anybody would climb into a porcelain death-trap like that on purpose I do not know. I'd rather stink than take a bath. :mellow: 



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Other Bigger Fatter Politics sources suspect foul play. Since her death sales of her music have skyrocketed. The same thing happened with King of Pop Michael Jackson. We are not saying that prescription drugs didn't play a role and we know that Bobby Brown didn't beat the crap out of her as he was performing at another location. We are saying that drugs may have been a contributing factor.


We hope soon to have more information from our own internet reporter Belly Boy and social commentator, fat educator and the fatosphere's greatest cartoonist Dr Gerald "Teddy" Bear.


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There were many contributing factors beside her drug addiction. Whitney was anorexic same as Michael Jackson so even if there was an overdose is was most likely accidental. If Ms Houston was fat like Aretha Franklin she could have taken  50 horse tranquilizers and felt nothing but skinny Whitney did not have the robust metabolism to burn off the standard dosage of Xanax.


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Flava Flave dressed as Whitney Houston.

The music world is grieving the death of Whitney Houston and rapper Flava Flave was so distraught that he dressed in drag as Whitney Houston as a way to honor her.

23 comments:

  1. This is one of the main advantages of being super morbidly obese. I know that I will never drown in a bathtub.

    I could not fit inside of a bathtub because my body size is too large. A tub can't handle my love handles. I would not even be able to fit into Taft's bathtub. I would need a swimming pool to take a bath in. But even then, my fat vest acts as a natural buoyant device that would keep me afloat. Since most of my fat is on my belly, and fat floats, I would always stay back-side down even unconscious, and would therefore never drown. It's simple fat physics, and I don't have time to explain it to all you pathetic thinlings. I have garlic fries that need eating.

    So let's all just focus in here on the take-home lesson. Bathtubs are the enemy, enemas are your friend, and fat saves lives sometimes. Whitney Houston should have been morbidly obese, given that her last name is Houston and Houston is one of the country's fattest cities. It's filled with pork BBQ, and delectable sows - those BBWs and SSBBWs who load their plates shamelessly and slather everything with gravy.

    Rather than doing drugs, we should do food. It helps the economy a lot more, and you can't OD on foOD. Food ain't your foe.

    Boom shakka lakka,
    Drugs are bad
    Boom shakka lakka,
    That's why I'm glad
    Boom shakka lakka,
    That I eat drumsticks
    Boom shakka lakka,
    You heard me, bitch!

    Belly Boy drops the mic, and picks up a DRUMSTICK and rends the greasy fried flesh from the bone with his teeth. Barely chewing, he then inserts the rest of the drumstick into his mouth and eats the remaining meat and skin, before discarding the bone and slowly waddling off stage and onto a recliner located just off stage.

    BELLY BOY, OUT

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  2. Once again your insight is spot on Belly Boy. We fatlings are quite buoyant. Fat is lighter than water. There is no way this would have happened to Aretha Franklin or Wynnona Judd.

    As you know the best singers are fat.

    Boom shakka lakka Bobby Brown
    Boom shakka lakka beat that ho down

    Gave her crack and refer yo yo yo
    Took too much Xanax one dead ho.

    Boom shakka lakka Nigga please
    Whitney got a yeast infection quarter pounder with cheese.

    Fat Bastard shouts into the mic, "Bros before hos mutha fuckas!" Pop open a 40, chugs half of it and tosses it into the crowd. Fat Bastard tosses the mic to a member of his posse and saunters off stage heads to the limo and rides to the after party.

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  3. Fat News Update:
    A man has had a heart attack in the Heart Attack Grill. People put a video of it on YouTube because they thought it was a joke. The man did survive, thankfully. At first I assumed it was Fat Bastard or Big Lard Ass but it was not.

    BELLY BOY

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  4. We are covering that and the plot is thickening faster that one of Coach Gaines' feedees. As you know Belly Boy, we have an undercover reporter working in the NAAFA inner sanctum and there is a schism forming in NAAFA and the fatosphere as to what their official stance/sit should be on this.

    Dr John has been vilified by a bunch of alarmist doctors for feeding fatlings the food they love and since NAAFA denies that one can get fat from eating large amounts of food they don't know what side to take. As you know, we will defend the HAG, Dr John and his staff with every C-PAP drawn breath. NAAFA's infighting on this one is still being sorted out and our embedded reporter AKA Rontunda Hindenberg is still getting all the details.

    As our interweb reporter please report anything you can find. OINK!

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  5. I think that NAAFA tends to aggressively attack us large folks who they see as unabashedly eating whatever the heck we want. They like to portray themselves as just eating what thin people eat, and magically they get fat. So when you and I chow down on 8 scoops of vanilla ice cream drenched in hot fudge and topped with about 8 cherries, they get outraged at us. It's a double chin double standard.

    So I bet most of the NAAFA sows would come down against the Heart Attack Grill. This is unfortunate, as Dr. John is the only food professional who truly seems to "get it" these days. His wisdom, good looks, charm, wit, and good business sense have enabled him to thrive. We must defend Dr. John, even though he is a thinling. Sometimes in life you have to stand up for thinlings, even though we must hold our noses while doing it. (Thinlings smell horrible to me.) Hopefully Rotunda Hindenberg can help sort things out, and if she has to persuade some of the lesbianier members of NAAFA she may have to just take one for the team.

    I have been hard at work researching these matters, however I have been thrown off track by ice cream as of late. I have also started eating deep fried bacon and peanut butter sandwiches, which are delicious with a deep fried pickle on the side. Mmmmmmmm. I want to try a deep fried hot dog soon.

    Anyway, my Asian girlfriend is doing very well. She has been a lot better since she stopped using inhalants and switched to booze instead. It also helps her get friendlier with me, if you know what I mean. That is to say, it makes her get me food from Friendly's more often. What did you think I meant, sex? PAH! Us fatlings much prefer the richness of food. Sure I like the occasional HJ or BJ, but the pleasures pale in comparison to those of food. Remember also that as a man of my size, it's a 1-incher. But I make up for it in belly size.

    BELLY BOY, ONE INCH OF HEAVENLY PLEASURE

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  6. NAAFA and Big Fat blog deny that fat people are gluttons.

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  7. Whitney Houston: another celebrity druggie who died from her vices, just like Michael Jackson. Good riddance.

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  8. @ Belly Boy: Rotunda is working hard on the story regarding what NAAFA's official statement may be but right now it looks like they are unable to agree on an official statement.

    @ Rotunda: NAAFA's denial has been their downfall. Food makes us fat. Fat is good and food is good. Separating food, fat and gluttonous behaviors is never a good thing.

    @ anon: Here's one angry OINK! Doctors killed MJ and they killed Whitney too even though she was a crack ho.

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  9. Ugggggggh. I just had so much food. I ate about nine pounds of ground beef. I feel really fat now. I know that I am omega morbidly obese, but I usually don't like to think of myself as fat. I like to think of myself as big.

    I am so stuffed right now that I can hardly move around all that much. So this gives me time to think, since for the moment I do not have to concentrate on food.

    Anyway, I love being big, fat, large, and in charge. I love getting hosed down, and washed, and pampered like a gigantic omega morbidly obese baby. But I also like to be able to walk around on my own, and not just rely on others to do everything. I like balance and variety. I like getting BJs and HJs. I am so large that those are my two options now. It would take more strength than I have to have regular intercourse. Also, I would literally crush anyone to death if I were to mount them, and my belly would prevent any other form of intercourse. It gets in the way. So sometimes I do wish I had a normal belly, but extra fat on my neck region and in my legs.

    BELLY BOY, OUT

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  10. Like, omigawd! You guys! You are like totally fat, that's like totally ga-ross! Don't you even go to the gym? Witney Hewstin was the most biggest talentedest woman ever and you guys are just totally jealz!!!

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  11. Belly Boy, we need anti gravity belts so that mobility is not a problem. We could float around the clouds and then we could turn of the gravity belt and drop on our enemies.

    They make seat belt extenders for us fatlings but I think it is high time we got penis extenders so that we could pork fat girls.

    @ Valley Girl: You are the jealous one. Obviously you have been lusting after me and Belly Boy but but Belly Boy has a hot skinny Asian chick and I have a hot thinling named Kathlean. Skinny chicks swoon over us fat boys.... Ain't that right Belly Boy?

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    Replies
    1. We do need anti-gravity belts. Gravity is a fat man's worst enemy, along with the phrase "I'm sorry sir, but we are out of alfredo sauce." I got that at the Italian restaurant, and I got VERY angry. What do you mean you don't have heavy cream and butter? WTF is that? Italy is all about heavy cream and butter, along with cheese. I can't be expected to eat weak inferior sauces. Ugh, it was terrible. I had three other entrees instead. For my pasta dish I had spaghetti carbonara, and then I couldn't decide between the chicken parm and the veal parm, so I had one order of each. For dessert, I polished off some tierramisu (however you spell it) and a nice Italian cheesecake. Beverages during the meal was a bottle of Merlot and a two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola, with plenty of lemon wedges. For my appetizer at the beginning of the meal I had an order of those fried octopus ring things. After the meal, and after dessert, I had a cappuccino and two Irish coffees, loaded with plenty of Jameson's Irish Whiskey.

      Anyway, we do need penis extender technology. I used to be 7 inches but I know most of it is buried under fat that has grown up around it, so now it is a bit over 1 inch. Still worth it, though, but it's tough going around knowing that you're packing a micro instead of a slightly above average piece.

      That Valley Girl is CLEARLY very sexually attracted to Fat Bastard and I. She wants a three way with us but it's not gonna happen, because a three way with two fat guys involved just doesn't work. I have a very very skinny very very Asian girlfriend who no longer huffs paint, and she likes hanging out with me and cooking me grilled cheese sandwiches whenever I want. She can also keep up with me drinking-wise, which is critical for a woman.

      Skinny women LUST after fat men, because fat men are big and comforting to be around. It is the natural size difference. Just as all men who weigh under 150 pounds have a fat fetish, all women under 120 pounds have a fat fetish. It's just basic science.

      BELLY BOY

      Delete
  12. After reading about your meal I began drooling all over the keyboard. YUM! Those wops really know how to cook.

    It is tough porking fat girls no matter how fat you are but a big tallywacker helps. The Chef can pork BBWs easily but the Chef is a man of color and he's packing some serious sausage.

    Skinny chicks swoon over us fat boys. Valley girl probably has a dripping muff just thinking about us.

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  13. I am glad that you liked my meal description. Hey, watch with the language, I am 1/16 Italian myself, so don't call us derogatory terms, capicé?

    I had some Chinese food today, and we went to a place recommended by my Asian GF. I started off with a pu-pu platter, which was amazing. I love the variety, which really gets my taste buds going. Then I had some boneless ribs, slathered in delicious Chinese sauce. Next it was time for my soup. I had a quart of sweet and sour soup, with plenty of those dry noodles. While I was waiting for my meal I also had gobs of duck sauce with the dried noodles.

    Finally my meal arrived. I had downed four beers already so I was getting hungry. I had General Tso's Chicken, Twice Cooked Pork, and Steamed Vegetables. Just kidding about the Steamed Vegetables, I had Orange Chicken. Instead of white rice, which is for noobs, I had pork fried rice, over a quart of it in all. They were really impressed with how much I was eating, and at how nimbly I used the chopsticks. As a fat man, eating is important to me so I practiced with chopsticks until I got really good at it.

    I also had a large quantity of Chinese tea, to wash down all my food in between beers. I had Tsingtao, which is a Chinese beer. I ate all the fortune cookies they had laid out for us, and then I had some ice cream for dessert. I made them bring me 5 scoops. After all that, I was very full and contented... but you know what happens when you eat Chinese food! Soon you get hungry again!! So then I indulged in some Doritos later that night, luckily I always have a lot of bags of Doritos on hand just in case.

    Big Lard Ass has been taking me out to a lot of restaurants lately, and it seems like he is in good spirits. He's had some mysterious things happen to him, like the break line of his car was cut, which almost caused an accident and he would have died, but luckily he steered the car onto some grass and that slowed it down. He also had two masked men arrested for attempting to break into his garage, and one of them had a weapon, and they had rope and a rag with ether, and a shovel. It seems like someone might be out to get him, possibly some radical individuals who took issue with him in the past because of his charity work in promoting feederism.

    Two of his acolytes have gotten pregnant, and Big Lard Ass is probably the dad. One of them is 19, and the other is 37. He's been losing lots of weight and now he doesn't even really look fat anymore, but he still has somewhat of a beer gut. He has an intense fire in his eyes, and I think he started drinking again.

    BELLY BOY, LOVES CHINESE AND ITALIAN FOOD

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  14. I'm half grease ball so please do not take offense at the word wop. I have a few relatives who are connected. So if BLA need some muscle maybe I can send a few "guinea pigs" to break some legs. My Uncle Vito is an officer in the Carcone family. He's fat ass hell and his blood sausage Genovese is out of this world. He's put more than his share of balls in spaghetti sauce.

    I think BLA has maybe porked a married woman or 2.

    When Proud FA was poking fat girls he was careful to get the husband's permission first. He never had a problem with jealous husbands.

    I have a new squeeze. Her name is Kathlean. She's a size 0 and 5'7". Very hot! She smells like albacore. There are no calories in beaver and I have been eating a lot lately. That is why my bib overalls are getting loose.

    Tell BLA not to be a stranger.

    OINK!

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    Replies
    1. I think you're right about BLA. That man is absolutely indiscriminate when it comes to banging skinny women. He doesn't care if they're married or not; he claims it's not really cheating if he uses a condom, since technically it's not skin to skin. I guess he should have asked for permission first, but I don't think most dudes would want to give permission for someone else to bang their wife.

      You need to ramp up on your food intake to make sure that you do not come down with a severe case of anorexia. Don't become an anorexic!!!

      OINK OINK OINK!

      BELLY BOY

      Delete
  15. I agree with Rev BLA that using a condom makes it not cheating but un enlightened people don't see it that way.

    A lot of fat guys like seeing their fat wives porked by another man since it is often not possible for two fatling to fuck.

    The Rev seems to only want to bone skinny women and fat boys WILL get upset about that.

    I ate 3 meatball subs and drank 2 40's of Colt 45 that the Chef ad left in my fridge. I'm eating at a really good clip. I just farted and it doesn't smell 1/2 bad.

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    1. Yes, but it is still cheating if someone other than RBLA has sex with one of RBLA's women. Those are the rules, which have an underlying truth that is too complicated for most people to understand.

      I guess I should have known that most morbidly obese women have morbidly obese husbands. Hopefully the morbidly obese wives let their morbidly obese husbands get some action on the side too, if they are going to be plowed by someone like Donovan the Fatbanger, one of the most prolific and legendary FAs of the greater Cleveland area from the mid-80s to the present day. He once banged so many SSBBWs in one night that three of them started fighting each other and one lost four teeth in the ensuing brawl. Do you know how difficult it is to get SSBBWs to actually fight? Fighting is too much like exercise to them.

      In other Belly Boy News, I have found some new folds. Also, my ass has modified its shape!! It used to be sloped to the side from laying on my side, but now since I've been sitting more during the day it has taken on a new shape, molding itself to optimally fit in the chair.

      I just drank a gallon of whole milk and ate six boxes of girl scout cookies.

      Delete
    2. I have always said that eatin ain't cheatin.

      Proud FA's and Coach Gaines gang porkings were legendary. Proud would rent a luxury suite at a NAAFA convention with a huge hot tub aka the bay of pigs. He'd make them soak in it first to cut down on the yeast infections and then they'd be ready for a porking.

      The passion of an SSBBW can turn violent. Proud had many sows fighting over him.

      Cool news about the butt morphing! The real expert on that is Dr Gerald Teddy Bear.

      I am glad to see that you support the girl scouts. Take that MeMe Roth! Proud FA got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for eating Brownies. LOL!!

      Delete
  16. Without makeup she was pretty skanky looking.

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  17. OK, it's been awhile since I posted anything in these fat blogs. I've been busy as usual on my YouTube channel, and I hate the new channel design that has been recently imposed on us. Now our channels look alike. THAT SUCKS!

    Anyway . . . . .

    As for bathing, I take showers instead of baths, because I would have a hard time lifting myself up out of a bath tub. Also, my hips would press up against the sides of the tub since I measure about 70 inches around my hips.

    I have a shower-chair, so I sit on that while taking a shower, and I use a shower hose to wash those hard to reach places. Yes, I like to keep my fat body clean. Fat people should use showers instead of bath tubs, and have a detachable shower hose, and a shower chair to sit on.

    I sort of take issue with NAAFA.

    TheY don't like using the word obese, and prefer the word fat instead.

    Well, I often use both words, Fat or obese, but you'll notice I use the word obese more often.

    I actually love the word, OBESE!!!

    It has a kind of feminine sound, but it also sounds rather sassy, in defiance of the societal norms.

    So, instead of Fat Acceptance, it should be OBESITY LOVING!

    It's more fun being obese than just merely fat.

    so, I am OBEEEEEEESSSE!!!

    Yeah! That sounds really sassy!

    I love that word!

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  18. Google is doing some f'd up stuff.

    I also like the word OBESE. It sounds defiant.

    I like a good soak in the tub. I love hot tubs but getting in and out can be problematic. I need to use the tub for sitz baths do to my ASStroids. I really would like one of those walk in baths with the massage jets.

    NAAFA is a bit to politically correct. They really piss me off. Obese is a good word. As fat acceptors we need to take the Marylin Wann tact and say Obese? So fucking what!

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  19. I am obese and I love every crease.
    I am obese my blubber's like grease.

    I am obese my belly I'd lease.
    I am obese, so's my cousin Maurice.

    I am obese and so is my niece.
    I am obese and with that I'm at peace.

    I am obese and so's my friend Reece
    I am obese let the PC stuff cease!

    ReplyDelete

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