Thursday, June 7, 2012

Fat Woman Goes Out In A Blaze Of Glory

Crematorium Fire

An obese corpse may have caused a fire that nearly destroyed an Austrian crematorium.
Investigators believe that the mid-April blaze in Graz began when large amounts of burning fat from a 440-pound woman's body blocked an air filter, which in turn caused the filter system to overheat, Fox News reports.

Firefighters were able to control the blaze by blasting water through the crematorium's vents, according to the Daily Mail, but not before the fire had already done enough damage to keep the crematorium shut down for several days.

The firemen left the scene coated in layers of black, greasy soot.

Former Graz fire chief Otto Widestchek says it's time for Austria to start building special crematoria that are equipped to handle the risks of cremating obese bodies, according to the Herald Sun. In Switzerland, Widetschek points out, at least one such facility exists.

Fat Bastard's Op Ed

Chief Otto Widestcheck is a wise man.  Just like we fatlings need super sized  medical equipment, cars, toilets, chairs, airliner seats meals, ect.. we also need super sized crematoriums. While it may have been a spectacular way for a fatling to leave this world the family of this Austrian fat girl may have found this situation disturbing. 

When I, Fat Bastard, die I want my blubber sucked out and made into candles and have my fans light one on the anniversary of my demise. Others may want to be eviscerated into ash so we need to super size all crematoria.  For now we need to cremate fatlings piecemeal -- 200 pounds at a time.

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