Now for Fat Bastard's curriculum vitae
I Fat Bastard am willing to give total support to the organization that I
am in, with the experience and capability that I have, in order to
achieve organization’s goals and create mutual benefits.
Bloat College of Of Food Science, Hamburger City, IA
Bachelor of Arts, Food Sciences magna cum laude, May 1989
Western Egg Sandwich University, McDonalds, IL
Ph.D., Culinary Psychology and Biological Belching, December 1991
Ovine University, Gourmand, TX
Ph.D., Food Psychology and Advanced Gluttony, May 1993
Fat Kid's Memorial Hospital, Chicago IL
Department of Junkfoodinology, Supervisor: Dr. Gerald "Teddy" Bear
KFC University Medical School, San Antonio TX,
Department of Foodiatrics, Advisor: Dr. Belly Boy Research Associate
Perform genetic analysis of mutations causing hormone-independent signaling
of the human gluttony receptor.
IHOP College, Flapjack Heights, IL
Taught Introductory Foodology with laboratory/kitchen (food biology, genetics panniculus growth and evolution).
Taught undergraduate Pignetics with laboratory. Developed course outline and objectives,
selected specific food to eat, selected required fast food restaurant,
wrote and presented menus, and administered Hiemlich maneuvers and CPR,
developed, judged and graded pie eating contests and pig out projects.
Full professor and department head Eatmore College, Frankfurt, GA assistant to the Dean of Feederism Proud FA (pioneered the study of feeding and social habits of terra orcus land whales and sus bestia pork beasts)
Professor Emeritus, Grazenhiemer Baros Univesity, Bon Bon Germany, Colleague of Professor Otto Toot (Directed and developed fattitudinal personality development program as part of the overall fat studies curriculum) (Directed studies for the fat sexuality program focusing on porking fat girls vs boning skinny C chicks with professor Professor Su We Sow and assistant Professor Chang Wang Chow, and clinical researcher Dr Eaton Swagbelliman)
FELLOWSHIPS AND AWARDS:
American Glutton Society postdoctoral fellowship
Postdoctoral traineeship, Farting Biology Training Grant, University of Chicago
Rotunda Hindenberg Pork Beast Institute Pre-doctoral Fellowship
Founder of NIFAM New International Fat Acceptance Movement and NAFAM New American Fat Acceptance Movement.
Created a simplified version of HAES eating plans. EATT (Eat All The Time) and FATT (Food All The Time).
Assisted Reverend Big Lard Ass in instituting the Grazenhiemer Method for Advanced Gluttony.
Working to develop a Chair Aerobics and Combined Eating Program called EFE or Eating For Exercise.
On the board of directors for Reach Back There, a company that is
developing a butt wiping device aka butt wand for fat folks who "can't reach back
On the board of directors for King Size Coffin a bariatric casket company.
On the board of directors for Vein O Rooter a medical device company that makes vascular augers.
On the board of directors for Mammoth Image Diagnostics that makes
medical imaging equipment for Sea World and other Aquatic and Land Whale
Publications and dissertations
Eat Like a Pig Smoke Like a Chimney: Let Doctors Worry About Your Health. It's Their Job. Publisher: Slimon & Shyster 2001 ISBN 3365882
Gluttony IS Good, May 1999 Gormandizer Monthly
EAT! EAT!! EAT!!! July 15 1997 Glutton Pride
Vegetables Are What Food Eats, Publisher Full Course Press 2003 ISBN 87365-22
Boning Skinny Chicks VS Porking Fat Girls, A radio debate with The Dean of Feedersim
Fat Bastard's Third Heart Attack (Can be found on many online zines)
Fat Girls Are Sluts: Google Proves It, July 2009 (Article in Sexy Sow Plumpers)
Fatty at the Fat: Eating the New American Pastime (June 2010, The Fat Athlete)
Why I Published My CV
I, Fat Bastard published my CV to silence the naysayers and critics of the new fat acceptance! That's why!