Sunday, November 25, 2012

School Bullying

Proud FA and I were school mates. There was some bullying when Proud and I were in school but not all that much. Back then kids were allowed to work out their differences and sometimes it would require some fisticuffs and when it came to throwing hands Proud FA was a animal and still is. FA Bomaye! FA Bomaye! FA Bomaye! FA Bomaye! FA Bomaye!

Not too many people would fuck with me, Fat Bastard, and nobody would fuck with Proud unless they wanted a knotty hairdo, a busted lip and a concussion. On one particular winter day Proud and I missed the bus so we had to walk home. It was a warm winter day and there was plenty of good packing snow. As luck would have it there was this fucking bully walking ahead of us. He was a new student, a jock who was not aware of Proud's fighting prowess. I, Fat Bastard, am a lover not a fighter but that does not mean I don't enjoy watching a good ass kicking so I decided to start some shit with the new bully. He had called me fat ass and blubber gut and Baby Huey. I wanted to kick his ass but I was not sure if I could take him. I knew Proud could wreck him even though this punk had 4 inches and 40 pounds on Proud.'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog! I bagan tossing snow balls at this fucker and he turned around and told us to knock it off. After he turned back around I packed another slushy snowball and hit this jock in the neck. He turned and I could tell he was really pissed he was about to attack and I said sorry man I won't do it again. He said that if I did he'd kick my fat ass. About a minute later I spied a car turd. A car turd is one of those big fucking brown ice chunks that fall from cars. This car turd was the size of a large coconut. Being a fat bastard and having no impulse control I picked up that icy fucker and fired it at the that mouthy dip shit and it knocked him silly. He went on the attack and not wanting to get pummeled I told him Proud threw it.

His eyes flashed with anger as he dove at Proud shouting, "you die you fat asshole!!!!" The fight was on. For a moment he was on top of Proud but Proud quickly reversed the position and the ass kicking was on. Proud was on top and he shouted, "Fat Bastard, gloves!" With Proud sitting on this dickhead's chest he raised up his arms so that I could remove his gloves and with that Proud's famous fists of fury worked their magic as the beat out drum roll of this punk's face. Within a few seconds the blood was flying as Proud delivered one of his legendary beat downs. His fists connected with trip hammer speed and precision. In less than 30 seconds Proud had beaten this punk into submission and semi consciousness. Then to my surprise he said, "Finish him off Fat Bastard. Do it Earthquake style."

Earthquake was our favorite WWF wrestler at the time so as this punk laid there in a daze I dropped a few 350 pound Earthquake bombs on him. I cracked a few of his ribs and he missed the rest of basketball season but it was a lesson well learned. We sent a message to other bullies. That is how to put an end to school bullying. Beat the shit out of the bullies.

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