Saturday, November 17, 2012

Who Really Killed Hostess Twinkie?

It wasn't the union that killed the Twinkie. It was Romney style vulture capitalism.

http://sharing.wishtv.com/sharewlin//photo/2012/11/16/hostess_20121116124239_320_240.JPG

 

Before you go blaming the union for Hostess' demise, look at the facts.

In 1995 a company called International Bakeries, which was essentially a vulture capital arm of a computer company called Data Processing Financial and General Corporation, went on a massive spending spree. They not only bought Hostess but the San Francisco French Bread Company, John J. Nissen Baking Company, Drake's, My Bread Company, and tons of other companies.

They did this by borrowing aka legal theft and eventually defaulted on their loans like Bain and Romney did, leading to bankruptcy in 2004.


In 2009 they emerged from bankruptcy by BORROWING MORE MONEY. They borrowed from Ripplewood Holdings, Silver Point, Monarch, and GE Capital. All these loans caused more payments and more interest accruing, leading to more and more debt. It was this debt that caused their collapse not the union.

If it hadn't been for easy credit, merger mania, leveraged buyouts, and greedy conglomerates whose philosophy was "if you can't beat them buy them out," then all the little brands (including Hostess) that this group of predators bought with borrowed money might still be small and innovative enough to survive financial hard times with little or no debt of their own.

So always remember: it wasn't the unions that killed the Twinkie, it was the modern vulture capitalist culture.
 HERE is the whole sordid Twinkie affair.
Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

Fatlings and gluttons everywhere can relax. The Vulture Capitalists that bought and raped Hostess and saddled it with debt did not destroy the recipe. All the bakers who made Hostess snack  know the recipe and will probably make Twinkies and other delicious Hostess snack cakes and who knows, they might even make them bigger and better. Twinkies may have been big enough for gluttons in the 60's and 70's but today's gluttons require a larger Twinkie. Hostess products will endure and it was the quality of their products that kept them in business since 1930 but it took greedy vulture capitialists to destroy iconic Hostess company but they cannot destroy the brand. Twinkie the kid will ride again!


Perhaps the greatest expert on Twinkies is Big Fat RRRRRRRRReverend Burn. He does not see Little Debbie as a solution and I think he has a point. The Little Debbie versions of the Twinkie really does pale in comparison to the real thing. They will do in a pinch but they are like hamburger vs filet mignon.

UPDATE!

Pabst Owner Metropoulos Considers Bid for Hostess Brands

C. Dean Metropoulos & Co., the private equity firm that owns Pabst Brewing Co., is considering an offer to buy Hostess Brands Inc., which said today it plans to liquidate its business.

“Our family would love to purchase these iconic brands,” said Daren Metropoulos, a principal at the Greenwich, Connecticut-based firm, which paid $250 million for Pabst in 2010. “We are actively pursuing this deal as no doubt strategics will also.”

C. Dean Metropoulos, founder of the firm, has specialized in purchasing struggling brands, such as Chef Boyardee and Bumble Bee Tuna and turning them around. The firm paid close attention to the maker of Twinkies and Wonder Bread during its bankruptcy proceedings, Daren Metropoulos has said.

“We have analyzed this opportunity very carefully for a few years now,” Metropoulos said in an e-mail. “Shedding the complications of the unions and old plants makes it even more attractive.”

Fatlings and gluttons face a dilemma!

While this news maybe good for gluttons and other junk food junkies it is still bad news for workers who bring us fatlings Twinkies.  Should we remain loyal to the Hostess Twinkie brand while another vulture capitalist group exploits the Twinkie crisis and screws workers in the bargain? Will these golden cake with the creamy centers be too much for us gluttons to resist? Will we succumb to their ooey gooey deliciousness and cave to the corporate gangsters? In other words, will become scabs?

I, Fat Bastard, call for a Twinkie boycott. Yes fellow gluttons you heard it right. I, Fat Bastard, am calling for a North American boycott of the Hostess brand.

http://budgetsmartgirl.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/little-debbie-cloud-cakes.jpg



Ingredients

Sugar, Enriched Flour (Bleached Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Vegetable Shortening, (Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and Cottonseed Oils), Eggs, Corn Syrup. Contains 2% or less of each of the following: Leavening (Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Baking Soda), Salt, Modified Wheat Starch, Artificial Flavors, Polysorbate 60, Mono-and Diglycerides, Isolated Soy Protein, Sorbic Acid (to retain freshness), Annotate and Turmeric Extractive Colors, Xanthan Gum, Soy Lecithin, Milk.


We need to find Twinkie alternatives and if times get desperate we need to back our own. Back in WW-2 folks planted victory gardens as a way of fighting Nazi tyranny. Today we need to start victory kitchen and maybe persuade local bakeries to make victory Twinkies as a way to fight tyrannical corporate fascism. Our appetites will be heard.

http://www.littledebbie.com/images/logo.jpg
I urge all Hostess Twinkie loving folks to switch to Little Debbie.  Little Debbie is a family owned company whose products are delicious and a best buy. As good as Hostess products many of the Little Debbie products surpass them in quality and you get much more bang for the buck. To find out more about Little Debbie click HERE

Debbie Handing Out Swiss Rolls

This early photo shows Debbie handing out Swiss Rolls to grocery shoppers. Just behind Debbie is her mother, Sharon, and her grandfather and McKee Foods co-founder, O.D. McKee.

The Little Debbie company should maybe update it's logo with a fat kid like Honey Boo Boo


http://cf.foodfacts.com/images/items/024300041907.jpg
Ingredients: Enriched bleached flour (wheat flour, barley malt, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin mononitrate [vitamin B1], riboflavin [vitamin B2], folic acid), water, sugar, corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated soybean and cottonseed oil with TBHQ to preserve flavor, dextrose, eggs, modified corn starch, whey (milk), leavening (sodium aluminum phosphate, baking soda), salt, soybean oil, emulsifiers (sorbitan monostearate, polysorbate 60, mono- and diglycerides, propylene glycol monostearate, sodium stearoyl lactylate, soy lecithin), natural and artificial flavor, sorbic acid (to retain freshness), corn starch, colors (Yellow #5, Red #40), citric acid, potassium sorbate (to retain freshness). Contains: wheat, eggs, milk, soy.


 

Basically Little Debbie offers two Twinkie-ish  snack cakes. 

If you compare the ingredients there are some differences but they are pretty close in flavor and mouth feel. It's kinda like comparing a Cadillac to a Buick. It's really the same car.

http://kmph.images.worldnow.com/images/20123729_BG1.jpg

Ingredients

Enriched wheat flour, sugar, corn syrup, niacin, water, high fructose corn syrup, vegetable and/or animal shortening – containing one or more of partially hydrogenated soybean, cottonseed and canola oil, and beef fat, dextrose, whole eggs, modified corn starch, cellulose gum, whey, leavenings (sodium acid pyrophosphate, baking soda, monocalcium phosphate), salt, cornstarch, corn flour, corn syrup, solids, mono and diglycerides, soy lecithin, polysorbate 60, dextrin, calcium caseinate, sodium stearoyl lactylate, wheat gluten, calcium sulphate, natural and artificial flavors, caramel color, yellow No. 5, red #40


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0XTY7fYziPg/TzeLFk0kCkI/AAAAAAAAA1E/CWORE5V3GU0/s1600/R+the+whole+gang.gif


6 comments:

  1. It is a sad day for us Men of Size everywhere throughout the nation. Just look at the effect this tragedy has had on even the normally calm and articulate Reverend Burn on YouTube. His latest posting about the Twinkiegeddon sums up the feelings of fat folks around the nation.

    Let's not blame the unions on this. Remember that the top executives had their salaries tripled in the last year $750k to like $2.2m, even when the company was doing poorly. Frankly, if you can't turn a profit selling Twinkies there is something wrong with you and you need to go back to remedial business classes. Twinkies are awesome, they taste good, and I'm just glad that I managed to stock up in the previous crisis when they went bankrupt before. I'm sitting on about 246,000 Twinkies in a storage unit in New Jersey at an undisclosed location. I have begun selling them for $5 each, as fatlings begin to want to stock up. It's simple Twinkienomics, you stock up and then you sell when the price is really high.

    Wal-Mart does make their own knock-off brand of Twinkie that, for most purposes, is almost as good as the real thing. I've been eating a lot of those to tide myself over and just enjoy life a little bit, and all of the sweet sweet Twinkie Profits that are now rolling in. I have people e-mailing me all the time asking for cases of Twinkies and they hardly care what the price is, they just want to stock up before this yellow gold goes away for good.

    OINK OINK OINK!

    BELLY BOY, OUT

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  2. I really worry about the knock off brands. Little Debbie makes a Twinkie like cake but it is not a real Twinkie.

    This is Twinkie Gate and I suspect that Twinkie will be saved and this whole thing is another way that the man has created this mess as a way to price gouge.

    Hostess got raped and so did the workers.

    There is a silver lining. Pabst Blue Ribbon may be buying the Hostess brand. I have always enjoyed knocking back a few six packs of frosty PBR with my pizza and wings and when it come to business men, brewers, winemakers, distillers, chefs and bakers have always had the utmost integrity and my hope is that the Pabst family will respect the sanctity of the Twinkie. There is cause for hope but were are a the fiscal cliff with this one and hopefully we will land in the soft craemy center.

    BTW BB, Check out my www.NAAFA.blogspot.com blog. I have been posting more fat related content there.

    I tried hoarding Twinkies but I had a feeding frenzy and I ate them all. Now I an jonesing for a Twinkie.

    I would be careful with speculating on Twinkies in the long term. If Twinkies are saved there could be a glut and the price of Twinkies could plummet. We need to exercise caution because my sources (The Chef) tell me that there will be an adjustment and that is why we should not be on the Twinkie/Gold Standard. It can become too volatile. My advice to you BB is to eat eat eat eat eat those Twinkies.

    OINK!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right to worry about the quality of the knock-offs. This concept was explored in the Television show "That 70's Show", in which the protagonist Eric Foreman reveals that his mom doesn't buy Twinkies, she buys Twonkies, and they aren't very good. So that does have me convinced that the knock-offs are inferior. Let's not kid ourselves, folks, this is Twinkiegate. The previous incident was a mere warmup, just as a 250 lbs woman is a mere pup.

      Hopefully PBR will come to the rescue in this situation. I myself drink Pabst Blue Ribbon by the case. I cash in the bottles of all my empties every few months and have it all added to my retirement fund, which is several thousand dollars now.

      I think that PBR is a company that respects tradition, and that they will approach the Twinkie brand with a lot of respect and they won't change the formula. You won't see "Caramel Twinkies" "Twinkie Supreme" etc, no, it'll just be the traditional Twinkies.

      Pizza and wings are glorious things, but combine them with beer and I'll let out a cheer. That's what I always say.

      Speaking of pizza, at one of the Trump buildings they have this "pizza" in the lowest floor, and it costs like $11, but it looks like awful frozen pizza, and very small. A mere hor d'oeuvre. (I went on vacation to NYC.)

      Bakers, brewers, winemakers, distillers, chefs, they are good people. Much better than regular businessmen. You are right that this is a delicate matter and we will have to use a lot of skill in order to make sure that this thing pulls through and that we don't end up losing our Twinkies permanently. This is critical. Twinkies are selling out very fast on Amazon and Wal-Mart, as greedy fatlings stock up before it is too late. I am there to step in to meet the demand, selling them now for $7.50 each. It's pricy, but my quality is unbeatable. I also make special Chocolate Coated Twinkies, and I've been deep frying them and selling those for $10 each. I deep fry and eat the knock-off ones to save money because when deep fried you don't notice the lower quality quite as much.

      I am clearing out my stockpile of Twinkies, I bought them all at normal market prices, so I'm bringing in a tidy profit now.

      OINK OINK OINK!

      BELLY BOY, OUT

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    2. Buy cheap sell dear. I would sit on those Twinkies for a and let the price escalate. In a month my sources in commodities tell me that they will quadruple in value in less than a month.

      You would be wise to sell them individually and I think you can get 20 bucks per Twinkie now. My only concern is counterfeits. A foreign country like China could flood the market with fake Twinkies aka Chinkies and devastate the world economy.

      If I were to take over Twinkie production I would make them much much larger.

      Some of our top lobbyists Coach Gaines and Rotunda Hindenberg are on capital hill asking for a Twinkie bailout.

      The other thing that is a major concern are the other Hostess snack cakes that are not available. Their cupcakes are incredible. Ding Dongs, fruit pies, Snoballs ect are all about to be gone and maybe forever. Basically Hostess products are becoming extinct.

      Thank the Belly God for Pizza and Wings.

      I will be going HOG WILD on Thanksgiving.

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    3. I'm up to $14 a Twinkie thanks to your advice. I held back selling them, and my sources have grown desperate. I sell them individually now. I am worried about the Chinese twinkies which will be made out of melamine and other chemicals, not like the great American chemicals that Twinkies are made out of.

      It looks like Coach Gaines and Rotunda Hindenberg's protests have been paying off!! The judge in the case said that the company can be saved and the judge is trying to work something out between the two sides, and it is possible that Hostess can be saved. Even if it can't, someone else will buy the brand and continue making Twinkies. They are a $70m a year industry.

      We are undergoing a famine period of Hostess products, but thankfully the hoarders like me will be able to stabilize market prices while increasing our own bank accounts in the process, just like the people who sold $20 a gallon gasoline in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. OINK OINK OINK!!

      I AM HUNGRY! I WANT TO EAT!

      My libido is pretty low though, and it has been for awhile. I am worried.

      Belly Boy, OUT

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    4. The price will continue to rise steeply for a few more weeks, It's simply supply and demand. For now price gouge and line your pockets.

      Rotunda had a meltdown at the Capital Rotunda and Coach Gaines got her to chill out with a good feeding followed by a good porking.

      Chinkies aka Chinese Twinkies could be a huge problem. I proposed Twinkie sniffing dogs to sniff cargo containers but the Chef reminded me that the pig has even keener olfactory ability than even a Bloodhound.

      I do hope we can get Hostess back on line.

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