Monday, May 13, 2013

Zara Clothing Stores Shaming Land Whales and Pork Beasts?


Tommy Sotomayor once again brings clarity to what assholes fat women can be. These fat heffers are on the rag because Zara clothing stores are not catering to pork beasts and land whales and a lot of fat sows are up in arms about it. Tommy masterfully puts them in their place.

Spanish fashion chain Zara, now the world's largest retailer, is being accused of missing a "huge opportunity" in the Unites States by refusing to offer fat-assed clothing to women. 

I have to applaud Zara because they know that women should not be fat and they are doing the responsible thing by not enabling them.




6 comments:

  1. I think it is a bit extreme to say that women should not be fat. What about all of the male fat admirers? What about skinny lesbians who lust after morbidly obese SSBBWs? In this tough economy, SSBBW porn, medical procedures, the food and restaurant industries, and deodorant companies are all heavily relying on fat women to help prop up the economy. We do not want to become like North Korea, with MSRTWs (Micro Sized Really Thin Women) only. We thrive on variety, and in fact having fat women around makes skinny women seem sexier by comparison.

    Look at a country like Sweden. About 85% of the women there would be considered "9s or 10s" on the highly scientific American "Women Rating System" (WRS) which straight and bisexual men use to rate the attractiveness of women, excluding superficial things such as personality. Well, in that country, guess what? They're all beautiful, and therefore it just defaults to a boring normalcy. Nobody is hot, because everyone is. It's not appreciated or cared about when the woman selling fish on a street corner would be chugging old man stick in the Playboy Mansion had she been in LA when she turned 18. It's just the way of things.

    Instead, we Americans have come up with a superior system. We make sure to fatten up everyone like greedy sow pigs, and then use this to jack up the cost of medicine, food, and clothing while the fat cats get BJs from Russian models using the profits. This makes us appreciate thin women, and it also helps narrow down the dating field and it also helps thin men and especially women feel better about themselves (Self Esteem Boost) (SEB) because they can say "Well, at least I'm not a fat PoS like those people" whenever they might otherwise slip into feeling bad about themselves.

    BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
    Belly Boy wisdom
    BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
    Makes every single lady come
    BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
    Give me fries cooked in bacon grease
    BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
    And then we can have world peace

    ~rap interlude~
    Yea I'mma Belly Boy and I'mma bout to explode
    And I know if y'all don't like it then y'all can swallow every load
    That comes out, like verse after verse
    Lyric afta lyric, homies snatchin' up yo' purse
    Y'all see fat women, y'all see skinny bitches but all I need baby,
    Just a woman in the kitchen, y'all!
    Ungh! That rap!
    Ungh! Ungh, Ungh-ungh! That rap!
    Ungh!! That Belly Rap. Ungh.
    Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah bitches! I need a woman that's good in tha bedroom aaaaaaaaaand the kitchen, Y'ALL!!! This Southern Style Belly Boy Rap All UP IN THIS MUFUGGA I'M OUT!

    Belly Boy shits all over the entire front row of the audience, which is wearing a giant tarp like at a Gallagher comedy show in 1985, and cheering with glee. His Asian girlfriend dutifully cleans his ass, and then he grabs his walker and very slowly makes his way off stage, in considerable pain.

    BELLY BOY, OUT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know that it sounds extreme but think about it. If there were no fat girls there would be more food for us guys. The other thing is, fat girls are really unpleasant whereas everybody loves us fat guys. Think about it. Who does America like more Troy my ass is achin Akin or Ruben the stud Studdard? A fat Al Roker or a skinny Al Roker.

      Now let's move to the fat girls. People can't stand Monique, Star Jones, Carnie Wilson and Rosie O'Donnell.

      When it comes to comics fat male comics are jolly but Lisa Lampenelli is the Queen of Mean. It may be politically incorrect to say it but fat men are superior to skinny men and fat women.

      Let's take politics. People love Republican Chris Christie but they hate that Republican bean pole Paul Ryan.

      Fat BBW porn has outlived its usefulness. Even though 90% of porn is BBW porn it is because men are using it to find their fat wives attractive. What we need is BHM and SSBHM porn. Fat men are under represented in porn. I know that you and I have discussed your possible run for president but why not consider a carrer in porn. Skinny women are being deprived of the joys and challenges of hot sex with a really really fat guy.

      Boom Shakalaka skinny chick
      Can ride the pole and suck the dick
      Boom Shakalaka hear the fat girl rant
      I want my dick rode but the fat girl can't

      I'm Fat Bastard can't you hear me yo?
      Ain't liken nuthin better than a skinny ho
      Skinny little cowgirl ride this brahma bull
      Ride my love rocket tell your coochie's full.

      Big fat belly on my skinny queen
      Is really the gas tank for this love machine
      Pimpin all them skinny hos nationwide
      When I see a fat girl my penis tries to hide

      Fat Bastard peels off his shirt and all the skinny groupies swoon as he chugs 3 7/11 Big Gulps and belches a 2 minute long burp into the mic. The crowd erupts and security gets tense. Fat Bastard exits stage right with a defiant waddle and the crowd noise is deafening and getting louder. Management asks Fat Bastard to do an encore so Fat Bastard is wheeled back onto the stage by Big Fat RRRRRRRRRRRRReverend Burn and the crowd is stunned into silence and reverance. It's spiritual.

      Fat Bastard, his posse and RRRRRRRRev. Burn exit the stage and head to the after party.

      Delete
    2. Anyway, I divurge from your position in many different regards. As a former disciple of the now-rogue cult leader Reverend Mark "Big Lard Ass" Biermann, I have developed my own teachings, which stress that there must be both fat and skinny, and super sized individuals in order for a society to succeed. We also need musclelings, such as Canada's "Furious Pete" who has a YouTube channel that shows him doing things like eating 100 Chicken McNuggets in about 17 minutes while talking and not even trying his fastest.

      BBW porn will never outlive its usefullness. It is critical for the burgeoning Fat Admirer class of males, who recoil at the thought of banging a skinny chick. This is important because it leaves more skinny chicks for fat dudes to bang. If you don't understand this concept, then you need to attend some Remedial Belly Boy Educational Classes at the Belly Institute. We need to encourage and increase the amount of fat porn so that it takes away competition from fat men, leaving skinny women to choose fat men instead. Furthermore, I do agree that we need more SSBHM porn for women, although this is proving to be difficult because of Hidden Penis Syndrome, in which the rolls of flesh bring about a reduction in the effective length of the penis. This is known as the Fat Man Small Penis Phenomenon.


      Yo yo yo, it's Belly Boy in the hizzy
      Back with another rhyme that'll make you dizzy
      Gonna eat so much food that y'all don't know
      Representing, both fat and skinny hoes!

      We need fat diversity, up in this mothafugga
      Need both kinds a chicks, for the white boys and the brothas
      And the Asians dudes, ya'll, and every otha,
      Cuz we all gots to help with dat variety of mothas

      To deposit dat seed, what y'all need
      Is a fat chick and a skinny hoe
      That's what you want, to breed
      So all the skinny d00ds, can bust they nuts mo'

      UNGH! That stench!
      That Belly Stench.
      UNGH! That ass.
      That Belly Ass.
      UNGH! That noise.
      That Belly Chewing Noise.

      Crunch, crunch-crunch, crunch crunch crunch, SLURRRRRP!
      Munch, munch-munch, munch munch munch, BURRRRRRP!


      Belly Boy vomits all over the front row of the audience, while simultaneously defecating diarrhea into a large metal basin. He pours a bottle of vinegar into it, and grabs a funnel, and mixes it together with the funnel hose. "WHO WANTS TO HAVE A BELLY BOY SHAKE???" He asks the stunned, silenced crowd.

      Will anyone volunteer?

      Belly Boy

      Delete
    3. Well, I think we'll just have to agree to disagree on some issues. You, me, and the Rev all have different points of view. While I respect the Chef's culinary and banging chicks skills, I think it is okay to have a certain level of fat chicks and a certain level of straight men be thin as well. You disagree, but that is ok. I think one issue will be that it will be problematic for every man to get fat when everyone knows that being skinny is more fun except for when you are eating. Also, if we only had skinny chicks to do all the work of society, the manual labor, you know that skinny chicks don't do manual labor. Too scared of breaking a nail. Fat chicks are too lazy and horny to do it, and fat men can't do it because we are built for disability and office jobs only. And surgery.

      And don't say that we can just use robots for everything because we are not there technologically and honestly I don't see that happening for a long time. If I am one thing, it is realistic and a realist, so I know what I'm talking about. I have broken away from Faedarianism and focus on Applied Fatronimica, my new religion. I am the Foodah of the religion.

      BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
      Make me steak
      BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
      Wrapped in bac-on
      BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
      I'll gobble it up
      BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
      I'm the human dump truck!

      I'mma eat all yo' leftovers, eat off yo' shoulders cause I can't be beat, cuz' I always like to eat. I eat they mommas out, erry' nite, I eat 'em out, aight?

      YO YO YO!!! Even them lesbians can't wait to peel they self off some BELLY BOY style lovin'! Cuz I remind they of a woman, y'all!! I gots mah Azian gf by my side, dawg!! Backin' me up!!

      BELLY BOY surveys the crowd, and finds an Asian woman, very skinny, who enthusiastically gulps down the "BELLY BOY SHAKE". Ewwwwww.

      Belly Boy then reveals that a REAL Belly Boy Shake involves two pints of chocolate ice cream, heavy cream, some vanilla ice cream, an egg, some vanilla extract, some **CLASSIFIED**, some **CLASSIFIED**, and some Hershey's Chocolate Syrup.

      BELLY BOY, STILL GOT ALL THE RECIPES MAKIN' PEOPLE HUNGRY

      Delete
  2. Think about it Belly Boy fat guys don't do manual labor. That's why we are importing Mexican labor. They outwork everyone and not only that, since fat men are idea guys we will eliminate the need to manual labor some day. Because we are lazy we are thinking of ways to get out of work and that leads to prosperity.

    This transition will not happen overnight. In 10 or 20 years will will have robots and creature like the Borg that are 1/2 monkey and 1/2 machine.

    Faedarianism can be a beautiful faith. What attracted me to it was what there is in the afterlife. I was not aware to the extent BLA as become radicalized. That's a shame.

    Time to bust a rhyme....

    BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA had a belly shake
    Hos in the front twerk a booty quake
    Fat Bastard sweatin like a fog machine
    Got his eye on a ghetto queen

    BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA my scrotum itches
    From the yeasty maw of two fat bitches
    BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA conversate
    Sit on my face and I will guess your weight.

    Fat Bastard drops the mic and strikes a pose as the crew turns on a wind machine. Gallons of fat boy sweat spray onto the audience. Fans bask in the spray.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I still disagree with you on a bunch of points, including your major thesis that we don't need or shouldn't have fat women. I sit by all of my original points.

    BELLY BOY

    ReplyDelete

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