tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post3204273323526741366..comments2024-03-27T13:59:16.938-07:00Comments on Bigger Fatter Politics: Fattest President Ever Was The Greastest President EverFat Bastardohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03839915109115122588noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-47270599736464858392015-01-18T00:01:48.266-08:002015-01-18T00:01:48.266-08:00OINK!OINK!BiggerFatterPoliticshttp://www.biggerfatterpolitics.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-81694192366005784152015-01-18T00:01:03.308-08:002015-01-18T00:01:03.308-08:00Through gluttony!Through gluttony!BiggerFatterPoliticshttp://www.biggerfatterpolitics.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-76470026507119034862015-01-18T00:00:29.062-08:002015-01-18T00:00:29.062-08:00Compared to people today Taft is a toothpick!Compared to people today Taft is a toothpick!BiggerFatterPoliticshttp://www.biggerfatterpolitics.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-19043285584014808002015-01-17T23:59:08.999-08:002015-01-17T23:59:08.999-08:00Actually his belly was probably like a big shock a...Actually his belly was probably like a big shock absorber,BiggerFatterPoliticshttp://www.biggerfatterpolitics.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-26330814015061795362015-01-17T23:57:30.972-08:002015-01-17T23:57:30.972-08:00he probably didhe probably didBiggerFatterPoliticshttp://www.biggerfatterpolitics.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-88842850446183085562015-01-17T23:56:56.146-08:002015-01-17T23:56:56.146-08:00oinkoinkBiggerFatterPoliticshttp://www.biggerfatterpolitics.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-41399709660240129782015-01-17T09:53:49.607-08:002015-01-17T09:53:49.607-08:00he ccould suffocate someone with his big bellyhe ccould suffocate someone with his big bellyfattellernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-6880841094892198842015-01-17T09:53:25.191-08:002015-01-17T09:53:25.191-08:00his belly could be a trampolinehis belly could be a trampolinefattellernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-81818536205184422872015-01-17T09:53:08.314-08:002015-01-17T09:53:08.314-08:00boing boingboing boingfattellernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-79880970632079664402015-01-17T09:53:00.587-08:002015-01-17T09:53:00.587-08:00william taft is a fatsowilliam taft is a fatsofattellernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-76140197063055490442015-01-17T09:52:39.752-08:002015-01-17T09:52:39.752-08:00he's the fattest person i've ever seenhe's the fattest person i've ever seenfattellernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-13438571433503102052015-01-17T09:52:11.897-08:002015-01-17T09:52:11.897-08:00how could someone be so fathow could someone be so fatfattellernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-86712297975831093832015-01-17T09:51:00.809-08:002015-01-17T09:51:00.809-08:00william taft is a fatasswilliam taft is a fatassfattellernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-26967312991057754412012-01-14T23:36:44.880-08:002012-01-14T23:36:44.880-08:00Brilliant! This is the kind of decisive leadership...Brilliant! This is the kind of decisive leadership America needs. You sir have turned a problem into an opportunity. You are indeed a visionary. OINK!Fat Bastardohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03839915109115122588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-6878213515756427132012-01-14T22:20:31.782-08:002012-01-14T22:20:31.782-08:00One of the reasons Twinkies can be used as currenc...One of the reasons Twinkies can be used as currency is that like gold, Twinkies are incapable of being eaten by bacteria, so they don't rot. I like mine with some marshmallow fluff; I make a sandwich out of them. I've even had my butler blend a few together and make a Twinkie Shake, which is delightful.<br /><br />I predict that the price of Twinkies will reach about $400 by the end of the year, if Hostess's twinkie factory shuts down. Prices will increase to about $5 each, and hold steady as hoarders cash in. However, during the NAAFA convention this year, there will be a spike in demand that will cause a supply shock and send prices skyrocketing.<br /><br />Chinese Twinkies are okay, they're not as good as American ones though. The Chinese ones have lots of steroids and extra chemicals in them, so in that respect they are superior, but I like the American ones better because they have better flavor. I am all about flavor.<br /><br />So here is how I, Belly Boy, would handle this crisis as Commander in Beef. I would swoop in and buy out the company, making it a government company. I would ramp up production after investing in modernization equipment and new factories to increase our capacity. I'd start issuing twinkles to all schools, forcing them to purchase the twinkles or else lose federal funds. I would also have the FDA reclassify Twinkies as fruit, because they use lots of food coloring derived from plant sources. This would eliminate the biggest threat to American education: classroom hunger. Kids can't learn when they're hungry. Twinkies solve hunger by releasing what are known as "calories", which defeat hunger and enable you to power through your day.<br /><br />Now me, I like to finish off each day with a surplus of calories, in case I need them later. See, I'm saving up my calories in case I need them, because I'm a planner. Skinny people live in the moment, but gluttons are long-term planners, saving our calories in case a famine comes, so that we can weather the storm and then repopulate the world after all the skinny people are dead.<br /><br />So back to the crisis. I would also start exporting more twinkles, spreading American culture. I would make all tax returns refundable in Twinkies, as part of my plan to switch to a twinkie based economy. We'd save money on taxes by paying people in Twinkies, since the gov't could keep the extra money and use it to make more twinkies. I would then have my Asian girlfriend beat me off and then take a dump, and then have a nice relaxing nap. My butler can wipe me down in the morning.BELLY BOYnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-44943790078980888302012-01-14T21:23:55.189-08:002012-01-14T21:23:55.189-08:00Belly Boy this is one more reason you need to be p...Belly Boy this is one more reason you need to be president. Obviously Hostess needs a bailout. What is more American than a Hostess Twinkie? I tried hoarding them but I ended up eating them all. Proud FA has horded some and he is asking a fortune. Now they are worth a fortune. Come to think of it they look like gold...soft chewy oooeee yummy gold. <br /><br />Ron Paul wants to go back to the gold standard but as president you would put us on the Twinkie standard.<br /><br />There are generic Twinkies but they don't come close. I refuse to eat imported Chinese Twinkies! They will probably contain lead paint and fly ash.<br /><br />I see food riots and Twinkie wars. I have always kept a stash of Twinkies and Hostess cup cakes. <br /><br />As president Belly Boy, how would you handle this crisis. I know you would eat but what would you do after that?Fat Bastardohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03839915109115122588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404799123592904345.post-30017300956269960232012-01-14T09:25:59.340-08:002012-01-14T09:25:59.340-08:00FATLING CRISIS! FATLING CRISIS!! I REPEAT, THERE ...FATLING CRISIS! FATLING CRISIS!! I REPEAT, THERE IS A FATLING CRISIS!!!<br /><br />Everyone, put down your Doritos for a minute and pay attention to me for a minute. Now I didn't think I'd live long enough to see this day (mainly because my arteries are so clogged you could barely thread a needle through them), but something terrible has happened.<br /><br />Hostess, the manufacturer that assembles Twinkies, is DECLARING BANKRUPTCY!!<br /><br />How could this HAPPEN? I eat Twinkies all the time, and I must have been propping up the company for some time just on my own. But this is a fat emergency - if ever there was a company that needed a bailout, this would be it.<br /><br />BELLY BOYBELLY BOYnoreply@blogger.com