Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Pranking Pesky Telemarketers

I think we can all agree the telemarketers really suck. Not only what they do is annoying it is also an invasion of privacy. 99% of them work some sort of a scam and seemingly with impunity as they rip off Americans. As that bad as that is it gets worse. Most of these pests call at mealtime and for a fat person all time is mealtime.

Obviously, the authorities are doing nothing to protect Americans from these telecommunication predators but people are fighting back by frustrating and otherwise screwing with these scumbags. The following videos are some interesting and funny examples of telemarketers being pranked.

I think we all have tried the do not call list only to find out that it's a bunch of bullshit. The time has come to declare war in these annoying ass clowns by stringing them along and otherwise wasting their time.

Watch the videos and then leave a comment regarding your experience with these shysters and fraudsters.

The next time one of these scumbags call you... FUCK WITH THEM!




This one is crude and sophomoric.


This one is quite quite clever.




This majestic fatling masterfully handles a pesky telemarketer.







Fat Mothers Jump Start the Economy

Obese Mothers are Good for the Economy


http://www.sptimes.com/2003/02/11/photos/flo-tease.jpg                                     Growing Obesity Increases Perils of Childbearing

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/48492000/jpg/_48492029_obese_still.jpg

With Doctors and hospitals starving to make ends meet in this tough economy the more challenging pregnancies faced by fat women and their is a ray of sunshine to the starving medical industry. It's simple economics. When medical care is more complicated and more specialists need to be brought is on a case costs go up... WAY up and so do profits!

Here is an excerpt from an article that appeared  the NY Times  that explains the good news for our struggling health care industry. Click here to read the entire article.

As Americans have grown fatter over the last generation, inviting more heart disease, diabetes and premature deaths, all that extra weight has also become a burden in the maternity ward, where babies take their first breath of life.  

About one in five women are obese when they become pregnant, meaning they have a body mass index of at least 30, as would a 5-foot-5 woman weighing 180 pounds, according to researchers with the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And medical evidence suggests that obesity might be contributing to record-high rates of Caesarean sections and leading to more birth defects and deaths for mothers and babies. 

Hospitals, especially in poor neighborhoods, have been forced to adjust. They are buying longer surgical instruments, more sophisticated fetal testing machines and bigger beds. They are holding sensitivity training for staff members and counseling women about losing weight, or even having bariatric surgery, before they become pregnant.

At Maimonides Medical Center in Brooklyn, where 38 percent of women giving birth are obese, Patricia Garcia had to be admitted after she had a stroke, part of a constellation of illnesses related to her weight, including diabetes and weak kidneys.

 Is it possible to be too fat? 

http://health.msn.co.nz/img/health-news/150310_fat.jpg

If you are an OBGYN the answer is a resounding NO! Here are the impressive numbers on C-sections alone that clearly show that the fatter a pregnant woman is the more revenue the health care industry can make.

Body Mass Index   vs   Percentage of Caesarian Births    

       20 - 25                    11%        

       25 - 30                    18%                

       30 - 35                    25%             

     35 - 40                    33%                  

     Over 40           43%                     

Very obese women, or those with a B.M.I. of 35 or higher, are three to four times as likely to deliver their first baby by Caesarean section as first-time mothers of normal weight, according to a study by the Consortium on Safe Labor of the National Institutes of Health

There you have it fellow fatlings; another example of how obesity is good for the economy. I, Fat Bastard only wish that fat haters Mrs Obama and Ms Roth would see that. AND once again, GLUTTONY IS GOOD!

http://www.laobserved.com/images/branum.jpg

Monday, July 8, 2013

Gluttony: Glorious Glorious Gluttony




Definition: Gluttony is the willful and insatiable desire to over consume, excessively elevate, and be preoccupied with that which Belly God created for good. It is more interested in consuming than in what is being consumed.

The New Hostess Twinkie Scandal

Hostess To Start Freezing Some Twinkies Before Shipping Them 

Hostess will begin freezing some of its Twinkies before shipping them when it re-releases the highly-anticipated pastries this month, the company confirmed to The Huffington Post on Friday.

In an emailed statement, Hostess spokeswoman Hannah Arnold said that the decision was made after a small percentage of the company’s retail customers explicitly requested frozen versions of the treat, which will allow companies to “date the product for freshness,” while providing “flexibility in filling their shelves.”

Any retail customer will still be able to request non-frozen Twinkies, and the company maintains freezing Twinkies will have “no impact on the quality or taste” of the product.

“Any suggestion that Hostess is changing the integrity of the iconic snack cakes consumers have loved is completely untrue,” Arnold wrote. “The new ownership is absolutely committed to baking top quality snack cakes and, in fact, is making major investments to ensure that Hostess products are as good, if not even better, than before.” BULLSHIT!

Sources told the New York Post, which first reported the news, that they feared the new freezing process could threaten the product’s integrity and future popularity. IT DOES!

Hostess filed for bankruptcy in early 2012, after which investment firm Metropoulos & Co. swooped in to buy Twinkies and other Hostess snacks in 2013.

Last month it was announced that Twinkies would be back on shelves by July 15.

I Fat Bastard am PISSED! I need Belly Boy to talk me down!

 

 

 

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Cronuts or Dossaints Could A Pastry By Any Other Name Taste So Fucking Good?

TRIGGER WARNING!

The following news story could cause gluttons to have intense and uncontrolled foodgasms and excessive drooling.


It's always more fun to DIY. Today, Julie Van Rosendaal from Dinner with Julie shows us how to make cronuts.




Yes, I made cronuts. I jumped on the bandwagon. Turns out, everyone's right. I might pay $40 for one of these on the black market.

 Not since Krispy Kreme have I seen this level of fried dough fanaticism. In the month since their inception tons of copycats have popped up -- since the name is copyrighted, others are calling theirs 

"Dossaints" or "CroNots" -- and in New York, lineups are going around the block for the things, which are also being sold on the black market. It's full-on cronut mania.
 
>>RELATED: Crazy good Croissant French Toast
Madness, I tell you. But I'm always up for a challenge, and we really need to start warming up for Stampede. So I took out the deep fryer. (Note: you don't need one. A pot works just as well.)


Puff pastry sounds daunting to make from scratch, but it's really a matter of mixing together a basic yeasted dough, slathering it with butter, and then folding it up like a letter a bunch of times, rolling and chilling between each fold. It isn't as finnicky as you might think, particularly when the end result is a batch of buttery, golden croissoughnuts.

Homemade Cronuts (a.k.a. Croissoughnuts)
Inspired by Dominique Ansel Bakery
Makes 1 dozen
Dough
3/4 cups milk, warmed
1 tablespoon active dry yeast
1/3 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (divided)
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, at room temperature

Maple Glaze
1/2 cup powdered sugar
3 tablespoons pure maple syrup
1 to 2 tablespoons milk, cream or water


In a large bowl, stir together the milk and yeast. Stir in the sugar, eggs, and vanilla and mix well. Add a cup of the flour and the salt, then gradually add another 2 1/4 cups of the flour, stirring and then kneading for a few (or several) minutes, until it's smooth and elastic, and still a little tacky.


Transfer your dough to a baking sheet and cover with plastic wrap; chill in the refrigerator for 30 minutes.


Meanwhile, beat the butter and remaining 1/4 cup flour with an electric mixer for a couple minutes, scraping down the sides of the bowl, until smooth.


When the dough has chilled, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and roll into a rectangle that is about 13 by 18 inches and 1/4-inch thick. Spread the butter evenly over the dough.


Fold it as you would fold a letter, in thirds. (Unlike a letter, the dough ends should line up, so that it's folded exactly in thirds.) Cover the dough in plastic wrap and put it back into the fridge for 30 minutes.


Pull the dough out and put it back on the countertop, with the open sides to the left and right. Roll it out into another rectangle.


Fold the left third over the middle, then the right third over the middle. (This is referred to as a "turn". To keep track of each fold -- or turn -- press your finger into the dough at the edge to make two marks -- you can do this each time you roll and fold so that you know how many times you've done it.) Chill the dough for another 30 minutes.


Roll, fold, and refrigerate the dough two more times, so that you've done it four times total. Cover and refrigerate for at an hour, or overnight.


Then, roll your dough out to 1- to 2-inch thickness, then cut it into rounds, or rings, or scraps.


In a heavy pot (or deep fryer), heat a couple inches of oil to about 350° F, or until it's hot but not smoking, and a scrap of bread sizzles when you dip it in. Cook the doughnuts in batches, without crowding the pot (this can cool down the oil), flipping as necessary until deep golden. Transfer to a baking sheet lined with a paper towel.


Meanwhile, whisk together the icing sugar, maple syrup, and enough milk, water, or cream to make a drizzling consistency. Drizzle over the croissoughnuts while they're still warm. Then try not to eat the whole batch.

 
Photos by Julie Van Rosendaal

Thursday, July 4, 2013

NSA Spying Hurting the US Economically and National Security

US NSA Criminal Spying Angers Both Friend and Foe

Our enemies now have more reason to be our enemies and our friends now have more reasons not to be our freinds. Hopefully the Europe and Asia will develop search engines as operating systems that are impervious to the criminal spying of the NSA. I'll feel bad for the Americas who will lose their jobs to foreign competition but hopefully they will find employmet working for law abiding companies outside the US.

Below are links to news articles that explain in greater detail how the criminal spying by the NSA will hurt Americans economically and weaken our national security.

German minister: Stop using U.S. Web services to avoid NSA spying

Germany is one of the most privacy conscious nations in the world, with data and privacy laws stronger than any other in the EU. And amid the NSA spying scandal, the country's top security chief has warned users to simply avoid U.S. companies. Will that work?

Amid NSA spying scandal, the gloves are off for EU's justice chief

No longer is the EU standing for U.S. lobbying and policy pushing. The EU's Justice Commissioner Viviane Reding is back in the trenches. The gloves are off, and she's fighting back.

EU to vote to suspend U.S. data sharing agreements, passenger records amid NSA spying scandal

The European Parliament will vote — ironically of all days, on U.S. Independence Day on July 4 — whether existing data sharing agreements between the two continents should be suspended, following allegations that U.S. intelligence spied on EU citizens.


Latest NSA leak details PRISM's bigger picture

Another leaked batch of top secret slides relating to the U.S. National Security Agency's PRISM data collection program sheds further light on how non-U.S. data is collected from various tech firms, and how under law, U.S. data is filtered out — albeit not always.
June 29, 2013 by Zack Whittaker

ZDNetGovWeek: NSA chaos continues, big tech fights back

The ongoing chaos that is the NSA story continues. Google, Microsoft, and Facebook try to get permission to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. That doesn't work out so well, and all we get are aggregated numbers and more aggravation.
June 17, 2013 by David Gewirtz

The real story in the NSA scandal is the collapse of journalism

A bombshell story published in the Washington Post this week alleged that the NSA had enlisted nine tech giants, including Microsoft, Google, Facebook, and Apple, in a massive program of online spying. Now the story is unraveling, and the Post has quietly changed key details. What went wrong?
June 8, 2013 by Ed Bott

ZDNetGovWeek: More NSA fun, tin foil hats, Google slapped in UK, and more

There's nothing more fun than government news, and nothing that puts humanity's foibles in clearer light. This week, the NSA story continues, we gently mock those wearing tin foil hats, Google's Street View is once again in view, and all around the world, governments are keeping us entertained (and worried).
June 23, 2013 by David Gewirtz

Privacy is dead: So what if you friended the NSA?

The National Security Agency is better than Santa Claus. It knows when you're sleeping. It knows when you're awake. It knows when you've been bad or good. Not that most Internet users will care.
June 6, 2013 by Larry Dignan

How did mainstream media get the NSA PRISM story so hopelessly wrong?

Last week's bombshell stories by The Guardian and The Washington Post accused some of the biggest names in tech of willingly working with the NSA to give up your data. It now appears that those stories misread the technical details and got the story wrong.
June 14, 2013 by Ed Bott




Tuesday, July 2, 2013

America's Newest Secret Weapon: Pizza for Peace

Pizza is a great food and when people are eating it they are always happy. Happy people don't want to fight. The US military knows this and are now having their soldiers trained by Little Ceasars Pizza delivery boys. Instead of soldiers delivering a burst of .223 rounds from their M-16s to their enemies they are now delivering hot and tasty pizza and wings to the enemy in hope that they will sit down with them for a Coke and a slice.

The next time a cruise missile or a drone flies over the Middle East instead of dropping  bomblets or firing deadly missiles it will be dropping stuffed crust pizza, 2 liter Pepsi, and Buffalo wings. Think of it as pizza pie parabellum.