Paula Deen the Butter Queen a gorgeous gal glutton heroine to fatlings everywhere is not letting her diabetes impede her hedonistic ways. Diabetes will not stop the gormandizing diva from eating her usual glutton fare. Piggy Paula, the Southern sexy sow siren and mature motherly MILF cow of the Food Network is bravely defying the medical advice of alarmist doctors and eating whatever she damn well pleases y'all.
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| A Hefty Porker Paula making short work of a Belly Burger |
TMZ originally broke this story but our own internet reporter Belly Boy has been in touch with the meaty Southern belle and is hoping to get a comment on the TMZ story.
Porcine Paula has turned lemons into lemon meringue pie with a thick butter crust by striking a deal to shill Novo Nordisk's Victoza. Paula in her diva like defiance is telling fatlings everywhere that you don't have to give up delicious food when the drug companies have kindly catered to the needs of big fat gluttons everywhere.
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| This BBW gourmet is proof that FAT FATTENS BEST! |
Paula is bravely taking Victoza ene though it was given a Black Box warning: “Because it can cause thyroid C-cell cancers, even though Victoza should only be given to patients for whom the potential benefits are considered to outweigh the potential cancer risk.” Although the marker for thyroid cancer present in patients was high, it was still within normal range, according to the authorities. Still, the only way to find out is to continue ongoing cancer monitoring for the next 15 years! Paula is not only hot pretty pig she is not acting as a guinea pig so that other fatlings, food sluts and gluttons can enjoy and abundant and gluttonous life while actualizing her greedy gluttony and making a cool 500 grand in the bargain.
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| Proud piggy Paula cashing in on her diabetes! |
Read more about Victoza here
According to other news sources Paula's stick boy sons are not happy with Paula's eating and her choice to take Victoza. As a result these snot nosed ingrates are accusing Paula of being a poor role model for young folks but Paula has a strong retort and angry oink. Paula is one hell of a ROLL model -- a Parker house roll with lot's of butter.
According to other news sources Paula's stick boy sons are not happy with Paula's eating and her choice to take Victoza. As a result these snot nosed ingrates are accusing Paula of being a poor role model for young folks but Paula has a strong retort and angry oink. Paula is one hell of a ROLL model -- a Parker house roll with lot's of butter.
3) Take healthy dumps whenever the need arises, so that you have more room for food. 
4) Butter is your buddy . 
5) Lard is your lover. 
6) Fried is your friend. 
7) Looks can be deceiving, always read food labels to make sure you are using the highest quality ingredients when cooking. More calories and fat content means higher quality. The nutrition labels are meant for thinlings, so adjust the percentages accordingly. You should be eating at least 20,000 calories every day. 
8) Don't be afraid to waddle around in order to work up a bigger appetite. I know this sounds like it wouldn't work but it does. You don't want to become completely immobile because there are many disadvantages and it is not as fun as it sounds when you fantaSIZE about it as I used to. 
9) Always snack in between meals, to keep your strength up and to whet your appetite for the next meal. 
10) Never sleep for more than 3 hours at a time! Set your alarm to wake yourself up every 3 hours and keep some goodies next to your bed so that you can have something to eat at night. This little trick, I call it "Sleep Eating," and it is an excellent way to pack on the pounds. On normal days you do 2 3-hour cycles, and on weekends you do 3 or 4 3-hour cycles.
12) SAVE YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENTS. 
13) Don't fall into the "three meals a trap", make sure you have at least 5 main meals everyday. Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Dinner, and Supper. You want to snack in between meals as I mentioned, including while you drive. Just because it's illegal to drink and drive doesn't mean you can't EAT and drive! Use the law's loopholes to your advantage! 
14) Donuts are a fat person's best friend. They are compact, have a hole for easy carrying, and pack some solid calories into a small place. The high sugar content gets your blood sugar up; and when you combine the sugar rush with some coffee, you will be up and humming along while all of your co-workers are still drowsy and cranky. 
15) Be careful when you are feeding. It can be easy to get caught up in the moment and end up biting one of your fingers, which can be very painful and even require surgery. In extreme cases, a feeding glutton may even chew off and swallow his own finger without even realizing it. 
16) Learn to play a very small instrument, such as a tiny guitar, or other child-sized instruments. This makes you look bigger, inspiring you to eat more. 
17) Drive an SUV. Sure you waste a few hundred dollars a year on gas, but you make up for it with extra storage space, cup holders, cargo space, places to put things, empty space, and more room. It can be hard to climb the stair to get up, but you can have extra steps installed to make it easier to get up. It's like SUViagra. 
18) Invest in a good portable bidet, which is a must if you are on the road. This helps stimulate your appetite by being clean, although sometimes it can be fun to be dirty instead. The choice is all up to you. 
19) NEVER brush your teeth! This wears them down, and as gluttons our teeth are already worn down from all that chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, and chewing. The bristles just make them wear down even faster. Instead, apply toothpaste directly to your teeth and swish it around over your teeth, and use mouth wash as well. Mouthwash is also an excellent foot deodorizer, if you mix some with water and put it in a clean bedpan and stick your feet in. 
Republican 
