Not too many people would fuck with me, Fat Bastard, and nobody would fuck with Proud unless they wanted a knotty hairdo, a busted lip and a concussion. On one particular winter day Proud and I missed the bus so we has to walk home. It was a warm winter day and there was plenty of good packing snow. As luck would have it there was this fucking bully walking ahead of us. He was a new student, a jock who was not aware of Proud's fighting prowess. I, Fat Bastard am a lover not a fighter but that does not mean I don't enjoy watching a good ass kicking so I decided to start some shit with the new bully. He had called me fat ass and blubber gut and Baby Huey. I wanted to kick his ass but I was not sure I could take him. I knew Proud could even though this runt had 4 inches and 40 pounds on Proud and 40 pounds. I began tossing snow balls at this fucker and he turned around and told us to knock it off. After he turned back around I packed another slushy snowball and hit this jock in the neck. He turned and I could tell he was really pissed he was about to attack and I said sorry man I won't do it again. He said that if I did he'd kick my fat ass. About a minute later I spied a car turd. A car turd is one of those big fucking brown ice chunks that fall from cars. This car turd was the size of a large coconut. Being a fat bastard and having no impulse control I picked up that icy fucker and fired it at that mouthy dip shit and it knocked him silly. He was on the attack and not wanting to get pummeled I told him Proud threw it.
His eyes flashed with anger as he dove at Proud shouting, "you die asshole!!!!" The fight was on. For a moment he was on top of Proud but Proud quickly reversed the position and the ass kicking was on. Proud was on top and he shouted, "Fat Bastard, gloves!" With Proud sitting on this dickhead's chest he raised up his arms so that I could remove his gloves and with that Proud's famous fists of fury worked their magic and like a pitbull of percussion Proud beat out drum roll on this punk's face. Within a few seconds the blood was flying as Proud pugilistically delivered one of his legendary beat downs. His fists connected with trip hammer speed and precision. In less than 30 seconds Proud had pounded this punk into submission and semi consciousness. Then to my surprise he said, "Finish him off Fat Bastard. Do it Earthquake style."
There are a lot of bullies today. These school bullies grow up to be cops, bosses, banktsters, doctors and corporate CEO's. If these fuckers get the shit beat out of them early enough in life they will learn not to fuck with and expliot others weaker tha them. There is no reasoning with bullies and thugs. The only thing they understand is a large dose of their own medicine that comes in the form of some do it yourself justice. It's never to late to beat the crap out of some punk.
There are other ways to mete out justice to scumbags. One of my favorite authors, George Hayduke has written many books on revenge. George Hayduke has written 23 books on revenge. His most famous is Don't Get Mad, Get Even: The Big Book of Revenge
Don't let the punks get away with it and if you wait for the authorities to help you might as well hold you hand on you ass. Most authority types are punks and bullies.
pen-name based on the character George Washington Hayduke III, created by Edward Abbey in his 1975 book The Monkey Wrench Gang, and 1990 book Hayduke Lives. Often in collaboration with perhaps equally pseudonymous co-author M. Nelson Chunder, Hayduke has authored numerous guides to pranks and practical jokes, primarily intended for vengeance. Activities suggested range from the merely annoying and mischievous to the illegal and extremely dangerous.
Hayduke has been called "The Meanest Man in the World", and is known as the "Master of Revenge"