The Bacon Shortage: Prepare for the Aporkalypse

 

Apocalypse or Aporkalypse?

This could get ugly folks. Droughts worldwide have caused a reduction in pig feed and I have said many times that vegetables are what food eats but unfortunately for pigs there is not enough feed so pig farmers are thinning the their herds.



I predict hoarding and pork riots. This is a bacon economy and if you think the financial meltdown was bad this pork shortage will deliver a death blow to our economy.... and it's not just the bacon! Bacon comes from the noble pig but so does barbecue, pork chops, pork rinds and most sausage.


And fuck that turkey bacon! It sucks. Don't be fooled by it. Our heart valves need pork fat!


Beef bacon is sacrilege!

The 850 calories formidable BK Quad Stacker

Fatlings will be starving to death in they can't have their bacon cheese burger super stackers! A cheese burger without bacon is just plain unAmerican! Say goodbye to these appetizers.

Wendy's 660 calorie single Baconator

Hard hit will be the Hardee's 1,170 calorie

Monster Biscuit 

That has the holy pork trinity of bacon, sausage and heavenly ham

The impressive 850 calorie Wendy's Double Baconator

Wendy's Triple Baconator meal 1,540 calories
83 g fat (33 g saturated, 4 g trans)
2,370 mg sodium