Bigger Fatter Politics is a fact based news source for all things fat and political. We present news and presidential politics from a fat centric and food centric perspective.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Paul Ryan: Flipper Meet Flopper
Romney needed someone who would abandon his phony core so he picked Paul Ryan. Romney the liar could not pick any of his primary opponents because they all caught him in his lies and flip flops so he picked another flip flopper to be his lying side kick.
The truth about Paul Ryan is this: Paul Ryan is a borrow and spend Republican. Paul Ryan's Spending is the same out of control Bush style spending that that wrecked the economy in the first place.
Ryan's budget got panned by Reagan's budget director David Stockman. Stockman wrote in the op-ed, later adding: “Mr. Ryan’s plan is devoid of credible math or hard policy choices.”
Stockman, who resigned in 1985 in protesting Regan's deficit spending, has added his voice to a chorus of economists criticizing Ryan’s "Path to Prosperity," which would give tax cuts to the wealthy while slashing funding for programs like Medicaid, Medicare and food stamps, all in the name of reducing the national debt.
Read more here about Paul Ryan's disasterous budget.
OINK OINK OINK!
ReplyDeleteI am still in recovery after my various procedures. It looks like I am going to be okay HOPEFULLY.
Anyway I do have time to give you some important information. First off, there was no Sumo Wrestling at the Olympics. WTF!? That should be an Olympic sport. Us fatties need more than just olympic lifting, the shot-put, the hammer throw, the discus throw, and the bobsleigh/luge etc (the only winter sport besides curling that us fat folks really excel at.)
I propose some new events! Sumo wrestling. Speed eating. Artistic eating. Synchronized eating. Pro-rated running events. The 10m Belly Flop Dive. Tug-o-War. And the Gangbang.
Speed eating is obvious, different events for different types of food (hot dogs, wings, etc.) Whoever eats the most in 10 mins wins. Yes, there will also be a marathon version of the event where you get 6 hours to eat as much of the food as possible.
Artistic eating involves eating, but with STYLE. Ketchup dipping style, fork twirling, etc all earn you points based on the difficulty and execution of the maneuver. But you also have to finish the meal within the allotted time.
Synchronized eating would be a great event because the two gluttons have to eat in the same pattern, and different foods are different parts of the event, like cake, steak, etc, and the judges judge it on the style used, and the difficulty of the technique, and how identical it is to the co-eater.
Pro-rated running means that you run, but your time is adjusted based on how fat you are. First we look at how fast you finished the race, and then we use that to calculate your average speed during the race. Then for every kg above 150 kg will be considered to have gone 2% faster than you actually did (and 2% slower for every kg below 150 kg, which is 330 lbs.) Then we re-compute your new average speed using this modifier, to arrive at your pro-rated finish time, which is then used to determine who won.
The 10m Belly Flop Dive is great, you get more style points for doing flips and stuff like that, but also for having the biggest possible splash. You must land on your belly. This will be agonizingly painful, to hit the water so hard, so it will require a true glutton and a true athlete to succeed.
Tug-o-War used to be an Olympic sport in the early 1900s, and they need to bring it back. Every team would need a great fat person at least to be the anchor. Someone like Sione Pouha, nose tackle for the New York Jets. He has a powerful combo of strength AND girth AND explosive fast strength.
The Gangbang is an event where the woman has to have sex with as many dudes as possible within the allotted time frame. Yes, there is a men's even too, and that would be something to bring more gay viewers involved with watching the Olympics. The dudes banging the athlete don't get medals, only participation trophies.
BELLY BOY, RECOVERING AND HOPING THAT HE DOES NOT HAVE ANY LONG-TERM HEALTH ISSUES ALTHOUGH HE IS FEELING BETTER AND HAS FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS HE IS STILL JUST HOPING THAT HE WILL REMAIN THAT WAY AND NOT HAVE PAIN AGAIN
We need a fatty Olympics for sure. Your ideas are great. I posted as article that lists events for fatlings.
DeleteIt was a disgrace that sumo was not an event. Sumo is a time honored sport. I would add belly bucking. You'd probably win the gold medal.
I would put in a gaining competition as well.
I did enjoy the women's gymnastics and I would include them but they would also be judged on looks and they would be required to wear thong bikinis. The judges would all be fat guys.
I would have various eating events ie pizza, pie, hotdogs ect...
Also, Paul Ryan would be awful. He wants to basically do away with the New Deal and revert us back to the times when our employers basically owned us and we would have to work until death. He thinks the poor should have to fend for themselves and that it's their fault if they're not rich, and that we should all have to support the rich more instead of them kicking in a bit extra that they won't even notice, so that we can have a fair society and pay down the debt in a responsible manner.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya Belly Boy. He's big Ayn Rand fan and now he is saying he isn't. Ryan is a Nazi like Romney and a flip flopper.
ReplyDeleteCON like right think this way; If they fail it's the government's fault but if you fail it's your fault.
Hitler would have loved Paul Ryan.
ReplyDeletePaul Ryan is crazier than Santorum.
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