Thursday, December 22, 2011

Impressive Fatlings: Care and Feeding

This guy Barry Austin is one of the most impressive fatlings I have ever seen. OINK!  This guy is actually not the fattest guy in Britain at a mere 700 lbs but what he lacks in bulk he more than make up in fattitude. His greedy gluttony is the sort of behavior that should be modeled by every fatling in the world.

I am almost ashamed at times that I, Fat Bastard, am the de facto leader of the fat acceptance  movement when I see impressive specimens like these great folks. I am humbled by their sheer size and I would grovel at their largeness.

This poor bloke is outraged by cruel cuts in his benefits. Now he has to wipe his own butt and bath himself. This is an outrage. Where's NAAFA?!

NOTE: Special thanks to our obesity correspondent Belly Boy for bringing this story to Bigger Fatter Politics.

Belly Boy scooped all the other fat acceptance site by uncovering this very important story. Here is Belly Boy's report

Check out this heroic British man:

He weighs 50 stone, which is 700 lbs! His best friend takes him to a big breakfast every day, and then his girlfriend scrubs him down. He is a mere pup compared to me, though. My Asian girlfriend lathers me up with lots of skin moisturizers. 

Reporting from the World Wide Web free lance reporter and uber fatling..... Belly Boy

As a tribute to Belly Boy Bigger Fatter Politics will be featuring bellies that look like cartoon characters.

What famous person does this belly resemble?
Lying cry baby drunk douche bag John Boehner perhaps?


  1. Boehner should just start pronouncing his name correctly: like Boner. Former congressman Weiner told that to him and he was right.

    Thank you for giving me the appropriate credit for my massive scoop. To reward myself, I am giving myself a massive scoop of vanilla ice cream, drenched in hot fudge and sprinkled with crushed walnuts and 3 cherries on top. And when I say 1 scoop, you know I mean at least 4.

    Let's face the facts: Bigger Fatter Politics is the only place where you can find the real unvarnished truth about today's political landscape, where us regular folks are just trying to live off the fat of the land while some bad politicians in Washington try to slim us down to meet their BMI goals. Everyone knows they're in the pocket of the Diet Industrial Complex.

    If I decide to run in 2012, I'm going to win in a landslide, because I am the only candidate with the FATTITUDE to rule these 50 United States. (Chris "Crisco" Christie has decided not to run.)

  2. My favorite wiener is an Oscar Meyer wiener and I get my best boner looking at pro ana sites.

    Belly Boy you scooped every other fat acceptance news site. Many of the ole girl sites shy away from the super mega obese. It reminds me of the days when Black folks looked down on the really dark ones. Self hatred is awful.

    I just polished of an entire cheese cake. YUM that fucker was great.

    Bigger Fatter Politics is indeed fair and balanced and we don't doctor the news. This really is the no spin zone. I went to a spinning class once and I didn't like it other than the hot thinlings. BOING!

    If a man of your character and size ran you would not only win is a landslide you would win in a flabbalanche.

    I know that is you won and I were your secretary of food I would place heavy sanction against the Diet Industrial Complex.

    I was pissed when Chris Crisco Christie dropped out.

    The only Republican I can stomach is Ron Paul but he's a skinny runt and I bet he being a doctor will harp about the obesity epidemic.

    Spermin Herman Cain was good for a while but I had one of his God Father Pizzas and they really are not all that good and a bit pricey.

    Romney is a flip flopper and while I like wearing flip flops I would rather have a belly flopper like the late great William Howard Taft. He was so fat that he needed 3 names and a super sized bath tub.

    Gingrich is fat but he makes me lose my appetite.

    I think that when you come up with a platform I Bigger Fatter Politics will endorse you. We need you. America needs you. If you don't run/waddle for president I will still urge my readers to write in your name.

    Send me your campaign material and I will publish it. With 75% of Americans fat you will get the fat vote. You should run on a fat rights/gluttons platform. You'd win.


After you leave a comment EAT!