Saturday, April 20, 2013

Peace Through Gluttony and Obesity




Peace Through Prosperity Gluttony
By Fat Bastard

We all know what the sanctions in the Treaty of Versailles did when inflicted upon war torn Germany after WW-1. When you impede a human being's natural greed they get really pissed off and end up doing bad things. The Treaty of Versailles did not punish the Bismarkians but it instead punished the German people or at least that is what is argued by some historians. Germany was hurting economically before WW-2. This was one of the factors that allowed the Nazi party to come to power.

http://stevehickey.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/john-banner.jpg
Fat, Content and Jolly Sergeant Shultz


http://www.fullissue.com/wp-content/uploads/julius-caesar.jpg
A Caesar Salad
 

Let me have men about me that are fat,
Sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights.
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look,
He thinks too much; such men are dangerous.

Cassius appeared to Caesar like an  underfed anorexic chick bent on stealing a fat girl's boyfriend. His "lean and hungry look" unsettled Julius Caesar, who preferred the company of fat, contented men—who wouldn't bite the hand that feeds them. Cassius looks like he's been up late nursing his envy, a situation that bodes ill for the dictator. 

I'm sure you are all thinking now, "OK Fat Bastard, how does this apply to modern times?" 

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4062/4686996262_0235b3b634.jpg
Nuke Leftovers NOT People!

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton needs to get her skinny ass back in the kitchen and feed Bill! Have you seen how skinny Bubba is these days? It's appalling. Instead of Hillary going over to the Middle East and trying to broker a peace with those crazy goat humping baby raping Mooslims we need to send these folks FOOD. Bring some Krispy Creme donunts next time you negotiate with Mahmoud AhMADineJihad.


Food is not only the language of love but it is the language of peace. Food transcends all language. When people are making yummy sounds they're not in the mood to quarrel and the fatter they get the hungrier they are and the more often they will eat and the more yummy sounds they will make. YUM! I say fatten up all the Muslims at Gtimo and before you know it they will be begging for bacon double cheese burgers and giving up valuable information to get them!








Make Pie Not War!

Let's crunch some numbers. It costs over 100 million dollars just to kill one Taliban asshole. That's insane! Put a few hundred fast food restaurants in Afganistan. Make some McGoat Burgers or some Camel Humpin Fries and serve them at a price any Taliban moron can afford. I can see it now. Instead of those ass-lifters shouting Allah Akbar (God is Great) as they cut off some infidel's head they will be shouting McDonalds Akbar! (McDonald's is great!) Compared to the crap they eat once they get a taste of fast food, McDonalds will have them eating a McSausage Pig Burgers.


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Sure there will be some fundamentalist holdouts but for them I say send them some Moon Pies. After all, they do worship that silly Pagan Moon god. Put some ice cream on it it and call it Pie Allah Mode. They'll love it. 

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs45/f/2009/140/f/4/Muslim_McDonald_by_Telpo.jpg

Here's a sample menu:

Sharia Shakes (beaten like a Muslim wife)

Haddith Hash Brown (made with opiated hashish)

Mohammad Burgers (goat meat patties served by a 9 year old girl... like the kind Rush Limbaugh fucks when he's in the Dominican Republic on a sex tour or like Mohammad's wife Aisha)

Fedayeen Fries (after eating them you will martyr yourself for no reason)

Jihad Dogs (made with real dog meat)

Hamas Hot Cakes (made with yellow cake uranium)

Iraq of Lamburgers


Fat people are simply too fat and lazy to fight. 

Fighting is too much work! Why fight when you can be enjoying your favorite fast food?

http://lauramartinez.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/mcdonalds.jpghttp://3.bp.blogspot.com/_QfVWU-2pVL4/TLHNom-psdI/AAAAAAAAPvs/doZpkjDzRv8/s1600/ronald-mcdonald-kabaa.jpg

There is not one single fatling in this crowd. That's the problem. Fat = Sedate. Build MeccaDonalds all over the Middle East and watch the Muslims feast! 

He who lives by the fork shall not die by the sword!
(Maybe we should nuke Mecca?)

It's all about promoting tolerance and not lactose intolerance. When it comes to promotion McDonald is the world leader. The Mecca of fast food could be Mecca! Instead of Muslims making a pilgrimage to Mecca and getting all whipped up and angry they'll be hopping on their camels and galloping down to their local Mikey D's to get fat and apathetic content just like us. 

http://healthhabits.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/quadruple_bypass_burger.jpg
Why would you want to chop some poor slob's head off when you can sink your choppers into this bad boy?


                                                      
                                                                               

All we are saying is give peas a chance!
All we are saying is give peas a chance!  
 
All we are saying is give peas a chance! 
All we are saying is give peas a chance!
All we are saying is give peas a chance!  
 

All we are saying is give peas a chance! 
All we are saying is give peas a chance!
All we are saying is give peas a chance!  
 

All we are saying is give peas a chance!   
All we are saying is give peas a chance! 
All we are saying is give peas a chance!   
All we are saying is give peas a chance! 
All we are saying is give peas a chance!
All we are saying is give peas a chance!  
 

All we are saying is give peas a chance! 
All we are saying is give peas a chance!
All we are saying is give peas a chance!  
 


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