Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry XXXmas From Fat Bastardo and the Staff at Bigger Fatter Politics

I give December 25th a XXX rating because Christmas has become such a vulgar and obscene event. I, Fat Bastardo, will join in the Christmas debauchery and eat like a fucking pig and drink like a fish and if I can find a hooker I'll let her ride my sleigh of blubber tonight. Like they say, the thicker the hide the better the ride.
Fat Bastardo on Christmas break at Miami Beach 2009
Proud FA and Thinnette


  1. OINK! Xmas is vulgar and gluttonous! OINK!

  2. Good evening Fat Bastardo!

    Looks like you really had a lot of fun on the beach!

    I notice, that in your photo, your shorts are down off your butt. Awesome!

    Yeah! You're a big apple alright!

    Apple-shaped guys should proudly walk around on the beach with their shorts half-way down on their butts and their bellies hanging down over the front of their shorts.

    That's what so cool and awesome about being apple-shaped.

    Too bad you didn't have a photo of you from behind, standing up and walking on the beach, with with your shorts half-way down on your butt.

    That would have been really awesome!

    So, remember:

    When you walk the city streets, be sure to wear your pants half-way down on your butt, and a shirt that is not long enough to completely cover your nice big round belly. Also, wear T-shirts with horizontal strips.

    An apple-shaped fat dude should publicly and proudly show off his bellybutton and butt-crack!

    That is my proper dress code for all obese apple-shaped guys.

    Anyway . . . . .

    Glad you had a fun holiday.

    Teddy Bear

    1. OINK!

      This is an old photo and there have been some body changes since then. I will be discussing this is an up coming article.

      There is nothing like some belly exposure. It not only is impressive but it is cooling. Fat man's plumber's crack rocks.

    2. Good evening Fat Bastardo!

      I'm anxious to see your latest photos of your body changes.

      Have you gained, or lost weight?

      I hope you have gained.

      If so, then the next time you're on the beach, instead of wearing baggy shorts, you should wear a tight speedo, and let your belly hang down over the front of your speedo so that when other people see you from the front, you'll look like your wearing nothing.

      And when you turn around, they'll see your speedo half-way down on your butt, exposing some butt-crack.

      Yeah! Moon Over Miami!!!

      Now, that would be awesome!!!

      Teddy Bear

    3. As you know Dr Bear, my apple shape puts me at greater risk for may ailments but as a FAT BASTARD I always figured fuck that. FOOD IS LOVE and it is not the quantity of life but rather the quality of life. That said, I Fat Bastardo got chatting with some PETA types and I was expaling to them that vegetables are what food eats. Seeing that I was a big unabashed and proud glutton they started telling me all the toxic shit that's in meat. I told them if it tastes good I don't care and I oinked a bit at them. OINK! Then they sent me some videos from a pig farm and let me tell you, it was not like old MacDonald with an oink oink here and an oink oink there. These little piggies were being terrorized!!!

      You know of my respect and admiration for the noble pig. As a man of science you know that the pig is perhaps the most intelligent animal next to humans. Pigs are certainly smarter than dogs and they are very loving and adorable creatures.

      The horror that I saw in these videos had a profound and lasting effect on me. I saw more videos on how other animals are processed into food and that caused me, Fat Bastard to have a Zen moment and I can no longer eat animal products. More specically, mammals. As you know when it come to news and politics, I, Fat Bastardo, have been giving to you straight for years. Like you Dr Bear, I am a humanitarian. For the past few months I have been a lacto-ovum vegetarian. As a result my weight and girth has been declining. I have lost 28 pounds. I don't know where I will end up size wise. Proud FA is not in a panic and that's good. My cardiologist gave me a big pat on the back and I am off insulin. So there is an upside.

      Thankfully I have a super-sized toilet. When you eat fiber your turds get humungus.


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