Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Manuel Uribe World's Fattest Man DEAD

A Depressed Uribe Starved Down to a 867 pounds
The fatosphere is reeling from the sudden death of fattest man Manuel Uribe but instead of mourning his death we should be celebrating his life. He was the world's fattest man for fuck sake! THE WORLDS FATTEST MAN! According the an Associated Press report, "Manuel Uribe had slimmed down to about 867 pounds, well below his then-record peak weight of 1,230 pounds, which was certified in 2006 as a Guinness World Record." Well, there's the problem! Why wasn't HAES  (Health At Every Size) used? had he been given ALL the food he wanted instead of starved down to and an emaciated 876 pounds he would be alive today and maybe even competing as an elite Olympic track and field decathlete. 

Uribe was not your average glutton. He was a glutton's glutton. He represented  a glutton and a gluttonous life style that to which all fatlings wish to aspire. Let's break this down. 

Manuel Uribe's Impressive Numbers
  • Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 12,882 calories per day
  • Typical daily activities: 6441 calories per day
  • Total calories burned: 19,324 per day
Simply to maintain his weight of 1230 pounds Uribe had to take in a whopping 19,324 calories a day. HOLY FUCK! To put that into perspective a man with a body weight of 160 pounds only needs 2500 calories to maintain his weight. This means that Uribe ate times as much food as the average man. Do you know how hard that is to do?! Let's put that into perspective and say that Uribe ate Subway low fat foot long subs. He would have to eat a super whopping 39 feet of Subway subs to reach 19,324 calories. That is nearly as tall as a 4 story building! 

No Man is an Island

What is more impressive about Uribe is the way he was able to employ and manipulate his feeding team. Left on his own Uribe would have been unable to obtain food and since he could not work he could not afford to buy food so how did he do it?

In happier times Uribe with his main squeeze and a cheese cake 
Large and in Charge!

Uribe had to muster, command and control a small army of feeders and other caretakers to enable him to live such a glorious fat and gluttonous life style. Originally NAAFA meant (National Association Aiding Fat Americans and shouldn't the proper mission of the fat acceptance movement be enabling fat people to live the fat and gluttonous lifestyle? His troops were faithful and dedicated. Uribe was a natural born leader. While in his four poster command center the majestic Uribe remained in complete charge of his loyal minions. 

The task of procuring all of his favorite dishes was monumental but beyond that the husbandry involved is his toileting alone had to be herculean. This fat hero was shitting more than a elephant. He was shitting constantly and shitting more than 8 regular sized people. Bathing him took a team of skilled and dedicated worshipers as well. 

He Died Young? Well Not Really

Uribe lived 45 years but since he was the size 8 normal people in fat people years he lived 360 years. We gluttons have a saying, It is not the quantity of life but the quality of life. Uribe has to eat constantly to maintain he weight so he was constantly happy content and satisfied. He outlived everyone! He had more happy moments than anyone. He had perpetual happiness until people conspired against him and starved him to death. Yes, you read that right, He was starved to death and here's why... CG Brady explains.

Yes Fat Bastardo, Mr Uribe was indeed starved to death. Uribe was placed on the Zone Diet.  The Zone Diet is a variation on Atkins and South Beach. Uribe was placed on a ridiculously low calorie diet that derived a large portions of calories from fat. As a result Uribe suffered severe liver damage. Uribe's liver was completely depleted of glycogen, the storage form of glucose.

Uribe could have lost the weight safely but that didn't happen is this case. Uribe lost 363 pounds very rabidly. The most weight he should have lost initially was 4 pounds per week. Had he been placed on 13,000 calories a day he would have lost nearly 13 pounds per week. For most people, losing 1 pound per week per 100 pounds of body weight is very safe especially if they get their nutrition right but these doctor endorsed starvation diets are not only cruel but they are dangerous. 

I can't say for certain whether carbohydrate and nutrient starvation was the only cause of Uribe's death but had to have played a role.



2 comments:

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