Flip 4: "It was not my desire to go off and serve in Vietnam."
(reference)
Flop 4: "I longed in many respects to actually be in Vietnam and be representing our country there."
(reference)
Mitt managed to avoid serving in Vietnam through a series of deferments. Although he protested in support of the war Mitt "Richie Rich" Romney obtained 4 deferment like so many Republican chicken hawks did during the Vietnam war. Like so many members of the ruling class, Romney favored sending poor and middle class kids to Vietnam but lacked the balls or the patriotism to walk the walk but he sure did talk the talk.
Yes, you heard that right. Not only did Mitt Romney protest in favor of sending other people’s children to die in Vietnam, even as he avoided service himself, he then complained about how those dying Americans made it “tough” for him while he was in France avoiding service.
Romney had no desire or intention to wear the uniform of any branch of the US military. He's doing what he does best lying.
Huffington Post Reports "His 31-month religious deferment expired in early 1969. And Romney received an academic studies deferment for much of the next two years. He became available for military service at the end of 1970 when his deferments ran out and he could have been drafted. But by that time, America was beginning to slice its troop levels, and Romney's relatively high lottery number – 300 out of 365 – was not called."
This picture required no caption but I do like the caption.
Some folks are born made to wave the flag
Ooh, they're red, white and blue
And when the band plays "Hail to the Chief"
Oh, they point the cannon at you, Lord
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no Senator's son
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one, no
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand
Lord, don't they help themselves, oh
But when the tax men come to the door
Lord, the house look a like a rummage sale, yes
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no millionaire's son, no, no
{ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/creedence-clearwater-revival-lyrics/fortunate-son-lyrics.html }
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one, no
Yeah, some folks inherit star spangled eyes
Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord
And when you ask them, "How much should we give?"
Oh, they only answer, more, more, more, yoh
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no military son
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one, no, no, no
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate son, no, no
Not only is Romney a coward and a tax cheat he's an asshole the same as his supporters.
Belly Boy is recovering nicely! He is almost back on his feet, and I am making sure that his recovery is proceeding smoothly. His testicular rejuvenation surgeries appear to have paid off, even though the doctors predicted a success rate of about 10% to 15%, because he is so young he may have had a greater chance to make this recovery and sustain it. His testicles have now reached the size of large grapes, whereas before they were the size of almonds. He is on a lot of heavy medications that have restarted his balls, and his surgeries have gone well so far. But he is not in the clear yet. It's going to take probably a few more months of treatment before he will be able to leave Thailand.
ReplyDeleteHe now have pubic hair, and even some facial hair now as well, and his voice is deepening.
I was reading the New York Times the other day, and there was an inspiring story about an athlete in it called The House. He plays semi-professional football in the mid-west or something. He is 6'11", and weighs over 500 pounds. He never made it to the pros because he did not try hard enough in college so he left after just one year. Also he had a problem because he was so much bigger than the other kids, even playing against kids 4 years older than he was, he was afraid of hurting them so he never tried anywhere near 100%. So, he could have been an amazing pro if things had gone better for him and if he had tried harder. He's 35 so it's too late for him to become a pro realistically.
Belly Boy asked me to post this message from him:
I am having some amazing Thai food here in Thailand. It is rejuvenating my body, and I have drastically cut back my alcohol consumption to only four to six drinks per day, and not all at once like I used to. (I figured it was best to just slam down 8 to 12 drinks at once so I could get a good buzz going, but now I am trying to be healthier.) I have also switched to low-tar cigarettes, and I've begun enjoying cigars as well. I am puffing away and I feel that it is helping my lungs to clear out all of the grease that is caked in there from my years of eating far too unhealthily. I am going to start eating healthier foods, yes large quantities, but not Belly Boy Burgers every single day anymore.
A man cannot subsist on burgers alone. He needs fries. And pop. And a milkshake. Sometimes he needs chicken instead of a burger.
Sometimes he just needs to eat only Thai food for a few months in Thailand.
I am appreciating your political coverage. OINK OINK OINK!
I think Rev. Lard Ass is pretty awesome, also Pastor James David Manning of the ATLAH World Ministries is a cool pastor as well even though he believes a lot of negative stereotypes about his own race. He has his own church in Harlem, and his own YouTube channel. He is pretty fat as well. He used to work for Proctor & Gamble, but then he decided to become a burglar instead, and ultimately got arrested and spent a few years in prison, where he took religion more seriously, and then he became a preacher in Harlem.
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
My balls are back
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
Filling up my sack!
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
My appetite is here,
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
Pour me another beer,
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
Romney is an elitist Wall Street type who doesn't give a shit about regular and poor guys,
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
So let's not vote for him and his lies!
Belly Boy takes a large dump on the entire front row of the audience, explosive diarrhea covers them, and the men who have been covered begin orgasming immediately, because of all the chemicals in my shit that activate their sexuality. The women in the audience who were shat upon have their voices start to deepen, they gain more muscles, and larger clitori, and one of them spontaneously starts masturbating to orgasm at the majestic sight of my glorious mounds of fleshy ass cheeks. She then grabs a large sponge and wipes Belly Boy's ass clean.
BELLY BOY, OUT
That's the end of Belly Boy's message.
James I see to many teams stopped on the one yard line. I propose getting giant sumos or guys like Belly Boy to bulldoze these anorexic 300 pounders.
ReplyDeleteOn the subject of getting sumo wrestlers or men like Belly Boy in short yardage situations, there are several problems with this strategy. (However, these men are useful in football.) A man who weighs about 600 or 700 pounds who is mobile, will not really be able to run around the side of the pile, he can only go straight up the middle because he will lack the foot speed needed.
ReplyDeleteIn order to go up the middle, you need the offensive linemen to open up a hole in the defensive line for the back to run through. No offensive line will be good enough to open up a lane wide enough for a man of that size. It just won't happen, they can't do it. That leaves only one option, for the fat guy to basically push his way forward, pushing his teammates forward into the defensive line, about 3 full yards, pushing 6 people forward, so that he can get his 1 yard. That's about 1,400 to 1,600 pounds of men, 3 yards. It's too difficult.
Where men of that size excel is actually in one area. They make excellent nose tackles. They could easy take 2 or 3 men to stop them since they are so huge, and therefore they are EXCELLENT at stopping the run. A guy like Belly Boy could make it pretty much impossible to run it up the middle. He's just too big to move, and he takes up too much space. If the O-line is not on its game, he could even manage to smash through the line and obliterate the quarterback using the controversial Sit-and-Shit technique. After shitting up his opponent, he will be off his game for the rest of the night, distracted by the shit all over him, even after they try to wipe it off. Or if they use water to try to wash it off, A) it won't really work that awesomely, and B) it will make him wet and cold.
Remember, William "The Refrigerator" Perry "only" weighed 380 pounds. He did score two touchdowns rushing and one touchdown on a passing play on offense in 1985, even though he played defense. If he had weighed 500 or 600 pounds he would not have been able to do it, he would have been too fat.
Now rest assured though, that the average weight of NFL players does continue to rise, and this means more entertainment for all of us. Pathetic thinlings like Danny Woodhead who don't even weigh 200 lbs are a rarity. Those tiny players don't deserve to play on the same field as majestic players like his morbidly obese teammate Vince Wilfork.
I read an article awhile back on the subject of whether sumos could do well in the NFL, and the answer was that yes they could, except that they lacked the football playing experience. They are flexible enough to be able to do splits (you have not lived until you have seen, live, a 400+ lbs man doing a split whilst wearing nothing but a silk mawashi) and have the explosive power and size needed to play defense. It's just that they don't have enough football playing experience, that is the only thing that holds them back, otherwise the NFL would be recruiting them heavily (pardon the pun.)
I was thinking and all 600 pound sumo offensive line with a big center who is still small enough to snap the ball. You could have a midget for a running back... it would not matter. A 450 pound center 600 pound tackles and 500 pound guard that are fast enough to pull. 400 pound tight ends.
ReplyDeleteLet imaging for a moment the therapy Belly Boy is getting allows him to run fast. Is there a defensive back or linebacker who could cover him? Who would have the balls to try do tackle a charging Belly Boy?
There is another advantage to having really fat ball carriers. They would hide the ball in the fat rolls. Since the ball can be handed off to any player the defense would never know who had the ball.
What will do more damage, a 100 mph sports car it a 30 mph freight train?
A agree that sumos have awesome power but it all they has to do is fire off the line creating a moving wall of mass they would be unstoppable.
Perhaps the most unstoppable runner would be a very short but very heavy running back. It would be like bowling ball.
It's all a matter of physics. Mass and density rules. Bigger really IS better.
Maybe those clever doc who gave Belly Boy the testicular beef up can make him fast and bulbous.