Do NOT get tested for COVID. Nearly all confirmed deaths have come in people who were tested.
Do NOT go to the hospital. There are too many sick people there, which can just make things worse. Plus, see the reason for number one. It applies here, too.
Do NOT wear a mask. You’re already having trouble breathing–the last thing you need is something else obstructing your airway. And it makes it harder for law enforcement officials to see that you aren’t an Antifa terrorist.
Do NOT panic. COVID is no worse than a mild flu, and you’re going to be just fine.
Do NOT self-isolate. Our economy is in bad (though quickly rebounding) shape, and we desperately need you at work and out shopping to hasten the Trump recovery. If you are a retired old person or an unemployed minority, this doesn’t apply to you. In fact, our economy is better off without extra mouths to feed, and we salute you for your sacrifice.
DO tell everybody about all of the Asian persons you have run into in the last six months, so others can avoid getting the virus from them.
DO take liberal doses of the miracle drug hydroxychloroquine. What do you have to lose? What do you have to lose?
Be patient, the virus will disappear as if by magic as the weather gets warmer this summer. Just like magic!
Do NOT listen to the doctors and scientists and public health officials. They have badly botched this crisis. Just imagine how bad things would have turned out had President Trump not been fighting them at every turn!
Most importantly, DO keep coming to Church. The only things that are going to save you are prayer and Christian fellowship.
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