Feisty Fatty Foils Fuzz: Police Pester Paunchy Patriot

As part of our Portly Patriot series Bigger Fatter Politics is featuring patriotic porkers who stand up to the tyranny that is coming to America and the rest of the world. I was once of the belief that the police leave us fatties alone but my readers have adroitly pointed out that fatties are just as likely to suffer from police brutality and harassment. Click Here for the BILL OF RIGHTS

If you watch the above video in its entirety you will see that the police targeted this resourceful fat man. It's obvious that he has been a previous victim of police misconduct. He saw what the police were up to and he caught it all on video. Had he not have the protection of video recording the police he probably would've been Tazered and brutalized. Once the sow discovered that she was on video and she would be unable to make her bogus charge stick she backed down.

What attracted her to this car in the 1st place?

Let's look at the facts. Here's a fat guy in a car at a convenience store. That's what the cop saw when they pulled up. The fatties friend when in the convenience store and bought him coffee and some doughnuts. Cops can smell doughnuts a mile away. They smelled doughnuts in this car in this is why they're looking for any excuse they could to pull them over illegally and confiscate his doughnuts.

Wrong advice for dealing with the police.

Nothing calms a crazy cop better than a doughnut

I have suggested that all fatties and even siblings carry a bag of doughnuts with them at all times in order to calm out-of-control police down but them if they cause more trouble than it prevents so I would go back to my original advice and how all motorists to carry a Dunkin' Donuts free doughnut cart and when presenting your papers to the Gestapo hand them a free doughnut card along with your license registration and insurance card.

This video has received nearly 1 half  million views on YouTube so there is no doubt police have watched this. They're now going to think twice before they fuck with a fat guy.

Happy New Year?

The end of glutton season is coming to an end. It won't be until Valentine's Day they we can be pigging out on chocolate candy. With glutton season officially ending for us gluttons it continues for the corporate gluttons who greedily stole trillions from Americans and other citizens of the world.

2013 will be more of the same. I don't know what's can happen with fiscal cliff but I don't know there are a lot of Republicans who need to control off the fiscal cliff and onto a bed of pointed bamboo sticks. The last I heard is that the Senate overwhelmingly approved the majority of the presidents plan but that evil piece of trash Mitch McConnell is his Dick so far up Congressman Boehner's drunken ass that this rescue of the American people may not happen and if that's the case I would like to see a lot of Republicans pushed off of cliffs, pushed off bridges and pushed out of moving vehicles for the traitors that they are.

I hope it will be a happy new year. I hope that we get our fiscal house in order. I hope that we restore the Bill of Rights. I hope that we overthrow the shadow government and execute of the filthy rich traitors.

I have some predictions for the new year:

I predict at least 20 mass shootings.

I predict tighter gun laws that will do little to stop medicated people from shooting up malls movie theaters churches and schools.

I predict a dramatic rise in obesity rate among adults and I predict a leveling off for children.

I predict the resignation of several Republican leaders because of sex scandals involving children. I didn't need to look at my crystal ball to see this one coming.

I predict the assassination of some corporate gangsters in Europe and possibly the US.

Now for some happy predictions

I predict even lower restaurant prices!

I predict the return of the Hostess Twinkie!

I predict the belly boy will marry a beautiful Asian lady boy.

I predict that McDonald's will come out with the McTruck that will be used much like food trucks that are used to sell tacos. These are also known as roach coaches. I further predict that Taco Bell will be offering a delivery service.

I predict that cheesecake factory will be selling his products in convenience stores.

I predict that Sen. Mitch McConnell will die of the summer.

I predict that Rush Limbaugh will die from the fecal impaction all doing his show.

I predict that the old fat acceptance movement will lose 50% of its members.

I predict the tea party will teabag Donald Trump and he'll like it.


Now for some New Year's resolutions.

I resolved to eat more pork products.

I resolved to bone more skinny chicks.

I resolved to petition Krispy Kreme to return to using trans fats.