Fat Singers are the BEST Singers
Who's better than Ann Wilson from
the legendary Canadian rock band Heart? Susan Boyle? Maybe and Susan
Boyle is also fat. Who can forget Ann's name sake Carney Wilson of
Wilson Phillips? Then we have the immortal Mama Cass and the Queen of
Soul Aretha Frankin. What thinling can sing better than any of them?
Barbara Streisand you say? Babs to is now fat and she really is like
butter. Another great under rated singer was the late great Nell Carter.
Nell was an SSBBW and boy could that fat girl sing! We mustn't forget
Jordin Sparks the latest target for MeMe Roth's venom. While still only a
pup, Jordin has the potential to surpass greats like Mama Cass, and the
plump Patti LaBelle and dare I say the Queen of Soul herself, Aretha
Franklin. Keep eating Jordin and grow your waist and butt along with
your career.
Ann Wilson is more that twice as
big as her hot thinling sister Nancy and she sings twice as good. Can
you think of another female rocker better that Ann Wilson? Of course you
can't!
You can have your Dixie Chicks,
Lorretta Lynn, Shania Twain ect.. ect.. ect.. but when in comes to
country music no one come close to Wynona Judd. With a name like Wynona
she has to be fat.
Gorgeous girl glutton Wynona flashing the sign of the fork.
So impressed with Wynona, Primus bass play Les Claypool penned the following lyric.
Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver
And she shows it off to all her friends.
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her,
So she caged him up with cyclone fence.
Along came Lou with the old baboon
And said Recognize that smell?
Smells like seven layers,
That beaver eats Taco Bell.
Now Rex he was a Texan out of New Orleans
And he traveled with the carnival shows.
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
And he candied up his nose.
He got wind of the big brown beaver
So he though he'd take himself a peek,
But the beaver was quick and he grabbed him by the kiwis
Now he ain't pissed for a week.
(And a half!)
Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
And she stuck him up in the air.
Said I sure do love this big brown beaver
And I wish I did have a pair.
Now the beaver once slept for seven days
And it gave us all an awful fright.
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
And the bastard tried to bite me.
Wynona loved her big brown beaver
And she stroked him all the time.
She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her
She might have a porcupine
Jordin Sparks may be a mere pup
now but Aretha was even smaller when she first hit the charts and with
today's glutton fare so available and with the enabling and
normalization of gluttony and obesity Jordin stands a very good chance
of weighing as much as Aretha and Wynona combined! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!
You can do it! The good news is, Jordin Sparks is FAT!
OK
I have to admit it. There are exceptions to the rule. Barbara Streisand
did look better thin and she sang great even when she was a hot
thinling.
Like butter, Babs beginning her blimp phase but still just a pup.
Babs breaking into full blimp mode.
Beautiful Babs Before Blimping
Bigger is better! Not only is Aretha the Queen of Soul but she is also the queen of soul food and singing better than ever!
Aretha, as pretty as you were then you are even better now!
What tribute to fat girl singers
would be complete without mentioning Mama Cass. Not only did Mama Cass
have the greatest voice in folk rock she died while eating a sandwich.
Look at that impressive tonal neck blubber!
I can see it now. Her handlers
are going to slim her down instead of plumping her up. I fear that is
what is in store for Susan Boyle. If Susan Boyle loses the weight she
will lose her voice. It's true!
A young undiscovered Susan Boyle. If she had come to the US she would
have added the thick tonal blubber that now sets her voice apart from
the pack.
Look at her now! Look at the food on her upper lip!! Look at that tone enhancing neck blubber!!!
As always on Bigger Fatter Blog it's ladies first but let's not forget the men.
There may be some debate as to
who the greatest opera singer of all time was, Luciano Pavaratti or
Enrico Caruso. I gotta go with Pavaratti. As fat as he was more than a
few women in Italy and the rest of the world flicked their switches when
ever Pavaratti took the stage and unleashed the awesome power of his
legendary tenor voice. Even though he was a fat pasta eating lummox he
got more ass than most rock stars.
Per i nostri lettori italiani: Pavaratti scopata donne più belle di Mick Jagger. Non era un nano e lui non è andato sul palco e muovere il culo magro come un omosessuale.
Michael
Jackson may be the king of pop but the best voice in pop belongs to the
meat master general himself, the immortal man of meat, Meatloaf! With
all due respect to Michael Jackson, all the crotch grabbing in the world
will never match the power of the meat!
Mighty Mighty Meatloaf majestically meting out the musical meat!
Even his name is great! Ruben
(sandwich the stud) Studdard wowed even the hyper critical Simon Cowel
to win American Idol and defeat that classless sweet boy Clay (my ass
is) Aiken. The last pussy Aiken saw was when he slithered out of his
mama. Our man Ruben is getting more ass than a toilet seat and speaking
of getting ass no two men are responsible for setting the mood for
seduction than Barry White and his Love Unlimited Orchestra and the late
great Luther Vandross.
The deep soulful tones of Barry's voice along with the romantic musical
arrangements of his Love Unlimited Orchestra put millions of ladies in
the mood to make sweet love with men like me, Fat Bastard. Rev BLA and
our latest contributor and gourmet The Chef.
The only thinling soul singers
who can hold a candle to Luther is Smokey Robinson and Wilson Picket and
maybe Al Green and maybe Marvin Gaye.
When it comes to singing the blues,
the clear winner is BB King. Muddy Waters, Blind Lemon Jefferson, Bobby
Blue Bland, Slim Harpo, Robert Cray, and even Robert Johnson are all a
close second to BB King. BB,big blubber puts him over the top.
Hunka hunka burning love! The
king of rock rocked! There is no arguing that the skinny Elvis was
great but he would have been a mere flash in the pan and overshadowed by
Jerry Lee Lewis, Chubby Checker and Fats Domino had Elvis Aaron Presley
remained a thinling. The fatter the King got, the more women swooned.
Elvis died on the toilet from an fecal impacted bowel. His drug use and
power eating caused the King to die in a manner worthy of a fatling. He
will be remembered as much for his majestic fatling death and for his
bigger than life life.
There is no telling how big the King could have and would have become if
he had a hot thinling nurse around to give him an enema to release that
hunka hunka steaming poop.
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| You ain't nothin but a pig/dog chowin all the time! |
The best Elvis impersonators portray an Elvis as if he were alive
today..... OR is this really the King pretending to be an Elvis
impersonator? Hmm....???
You probably don't even recognize
this runt. This is the once great John Popper of the legendary Blues
Traveler. When John Popper and Blues Traveler were topping the charts
with smash hits like
Run Around and the
Heart Brings You Back John was a
big fat sweating lummox but since his weight loss John and the band are
no longer selling out arenas. His singing is not as good and neither is
his harmonica playing. Like most fat boys John developed his educated
harmonica playing tongue eating pussy but now that he's skinny he's
probably throwing the dick into his groupies and dropping even more
weight.
John Popper and Blues Traveler in their heyday
Let's recap. Who's HOT and who's NOT?
Ann Wilson and Heart =
Hot enough to warm a Canadian winter!
Meatloaf after his weight loss =
NOT!
Aretha Frankin = Still
HOT!
Ruben Studdard =
HOT pastrami on dark rye!
BB King =
No sign of cooling!
Wynona =
Sizzling like country ham!
Barry White =
The body heat generated by his career IS the real reason the polar ice caps are melting.
Luther Vandross =
The Spanish fly of music with a French tickler.
John Popper NOT!
There you have it folks; some of the great fat singers. Please feel free
make other suggestions but I think I've covered it pretty well and as
always think you for reading Bigger Fatter Blog the leader in fat
acceptance. EAT!
