Scalia's Successor

Now that Scalia is taking a dirt nap Obama's constitutional duty is the pick a nominee. I had some thoughts. I was thinking he'd nominate Shotgun Joe Biden, Barney Frank or some lesser known jurist but when I received this Email from Florida Congressman Alan Grayson I knew who I was going to want to see on the US Supreme Court. It's a no brainer. Elizabeth Warren is the obvious choice and here's why.

1. Elizabeth Warren is squeaky clean. (There are no clean conservatives, they simply do not exist. Look at what a disaster that scumbag Clarence Thomas is.)

2. Elizabeth Warren is brilliant! She as the ability to arrive at the obvious very quickly.

3. She's a woman of the people and unlike any CONservative she's not mobbed up with the 1%.

4. Even if  the criminal Republican scum block her nomination they will get bloodied up in the process. 

Grayson's argument is even more persuasive.
Dear Mr Bastardo,

Please spread this missive on your extraordinary news service.

Dear Mr. President, please appoint Elizabeth Warren to the Supreme Court, before the end of the week.

Sign our petition to the President, asking him to nominate Elizabeth Warren to the Supreme Court. And forward this to your friends, so that they can do the same.

Why Elizabeth Warren? She started waiting tables at the age of 13, a year after her father was driven into poverty by a heart attack followed by huge medical bills. She later taught children with disabilities. She was a Harvard Law Professor for almost two decades – in fact, the only one there with tenure who had attended a public university. Her scholarly work is renowned; she is one of the most frequently cited law professors of all time.

She has been an indefatigable watchdog over the capital markets for almost a decade, going back to her extraordinarily valuable work on the Congressional Oversight Panel for the federal bailout program. She created the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, even though the Senate Republicans wouldn’t let her run it. She electrified the nation with her “you didn’t build that” speech. And she has been a tireless and effective U.S. Senator.

Fourteen Senators and 17 Congressman have been appointed to the Supreme Court. So it wouldn’t be the first time this happened.

Tell President Obama: Appoint Elizabeth Warren to the U.S. Supreme Court. Sign our petition, right here and right now >>

One more thing: Senator Warren is an outstanding writer and communicator, something that the Supreme Court badly needs. (Justice Scalia recently attacked a colleague for a writing style “as pretentious as it [is] egotistic.”) In my opinion, the two best judicial writers of my lifetime are Justice Hugo Black, a former Senator, and Judge Abner Mikva, a former Congressman. (I worked with Mikva; I know what I’m talking about.) Serving in either House of Congress is a very effective lesson in communication.

Would obstructionists in the Senate filibuster an Elizabeth Warren appointment, or vote against her? Maybe. But that seems like poor form against one of their own, for a place as clubby as the U.S. Senate.

And the President should appoint Warren right now, before the end of this week. That would make it a “recess appointment,” and Justice Warren could take office immediately. The obstructionists in the GOP couldn’t do anything about it.

Sign our petition to appoint and anoint Justice Elizabeth Warren >>

One last reason why Elizabeth Warren should be on the U.S. Supreme Court:

She’s earned it. She deserves it. And she’ll be so, so good at it.

Courage,

Rep. Alan Grayson

BELLY BOY GETTING POLITICAL: The American Caste System/The Belly Plan

Political analyst, glutton extraordinaire, food critic, author of the Belly Report, rap artist, globe trotter, social commentator and Internet reporter Belly Boy opines on the social/sexual changes and the need for a caste system due to the effects of the obesity bloom and growing foodist and gluttony movements.

 

Belly Boy's Skinny Body Double

BELLY BOY SPEAKS and People Listen!

by Belly Boy

 

Boom Shakka Lakka,
OINK OINK OINK
Boom Shakka Lakka,
BOINK BOINK BOINK!
Boom Shakka Lakka,
Move in with Jenna
Boom Shakka Lakka,
She'll make you sing like a tenor
Boom Shakka Lakka,
She's a FFA
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
Move in with her today!

I do see your point and every fat guy's point about women with low standards having some serious advantages. First, they don't care how fat you get or about money. They just need someone to provide emotional support and occasionally say insensitive things like "Yo, why don't you wear no tube tops no more?" And then if she wears them a lot you go "Yo, why you wear tube tops all the time? I bet not catch yo' ass cheating on me!"

A woman with high standards will expect you to have a good job, be reasonably fit, not be fat, be emotionally available, munch carpet, take her places, buy her things, etc. NO THANKS!! I ain't no skinny boy, I'm a BELLY BOY and FOOD IS MY JOY.

Promoting Low Standards is Key
 

We need to start figuring out a way to ensure that more skinny women have low standards, otherwise they will continue to breed with skinny guys and potentially breed a master weight class of thinlings that will potentially enslave the fat class or put us in fat internment camps. Us fat folks make awful slaves, but we are highly vulnerable because we are so dependent on food and porn, both regular, extra-skinny, and yes even SSBBW porn. I think that SSBBW porn should mainly be for thin men, and skinny women porn should be reserved for us fat men. This will encourage skinny men to bulk up, and fat women to slim down.

We do need some thinlings for the military, sports, etc, but they need to be placed under fat leadership. In other words, we need SSBHMs and SSBBWs in our elected government positions in order to keep the thinlings in check. As we continue to grow both in size and in numbers, the National Association for the Advancement of Eating Amazing Things (NAAEAT) will become a potent political force, with me as the head. We will advocate for all new Supreme Court Justices to be morbidly obese, and encourage existing ones to bulk up by adding more and better food to the Supreme Court Cafeteria.

A New American Caste System

We will promote a new caste system, defined not by race as in the 18th, 19th, and much of the 20th century, nor by wealth as during the 20th and first part of the 21st century. Instead, we will be based upon Body Mass Index. The fatter you are, the better. However, my plan also leaves open the chance for athletic women who are technically obese but actually aren't fat. These women will make excellent lovers for our fat male population, buoyed by doctor-prescribed steroids. This will increase their libidos, allowing each to service multiple fat men.

We will also allow and encourage non-steroid, non-obese women; however they will not be allowed in any leadership positions. These are for fat men and fat women only. Also steroid women because technically they are considered fat under my regime, but only on a technicality.

Jenna Talia will be able to have her pick of morbidly obese men to choose from. We will also ask her for advice on how to encourage more non-fat women to lust after obese men.

BELLY BOY, GETTING POLITICAL