Madison Cawthorn is a snake and not a particularly smart snake. He's not a particularly clever liar but seeing as how represent mostly rural North Carolina, stupid and inept works great for him. The morons and MAGAts who punks like Cawthorn pretend to care about are merely their marks. Punks never care about their marks.
Like his MAGAts, Cawthorn has probably never had an original thought of his own. Cawthorn is a tool and not a very sharp one but he's a very dangerous one.
Free Legal Advice For Traitor Madison Cawthorn
After you resign, report to prison and name names. Federal prison is not all that bad and you will be surrounded by lots of other liars and traitors. Maybe you'll get to pal around with Crazy Rudy, and the Trump clan. The prison you will end up in is Butner in North Carolina. It's a medical prison. You'll like it there.
On the outside it's unlikely that a traitorous little punk like you will get a moments peace. Look how it is for Pence. Unlike you, Mike Pence is a smart weasel and unlike you Mike Pence is lawful evil and you are chaotic evil like Trump.
You may be able to avoid prison or at least get a light sentence. Here's how.
1. Choose your own lawyer. A Republican lawyer will fuck you and you are too stupid to know you are getting fucked same as the moronic traitors who voted for you.
2. You know you are a liar and so does everyone else but you don't know how stupid you are. It could be argued that you are not competent to stand trial. Like many of the mentally defective Trumpanzees who voted for you, you could plead ignorance and blame your handlers for brainwashing you.
If I were to sentence you knowing what I currently know about you, I'd sentence you to life in prison but if you named names you'd get as little as 80 months. I am beginning to rethink my stance on the death penalty. Maybe I'd sentence you to death by firing squad for treason and espionage.
INFO@MADISONCAWTHORN.COM
(828) 595-9507
638 SPARTANBURG HWY. STE 70, #362 HENDERSONVILLE, NC 28792
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