Would Obama Hit Dat? Would Romney Hit Dat?

We already know that Romney is a fussy eater and his wacky religion forbids him to drink good old American Coca Cola or Budweiser beer. WTF, that's just unAmerican and an insult to every Joe Six Pack out their. Say what you want about George W Bush but he was never afraid to tie one on. Hell, deep down W is a good ole boy and given enough booze and coke he'd hit most reasonably attractive women.

American Patriot Joe Six Pack

I have no doubt that Bush would hit this BBW and that if he were unmarried Obama would hit that to. Would money man Mitt hit this? I doubt it.


McCain was always quite the womanizer and he's had a lot of sweet pun tang over the years. Say what you want about Sarah Palin but she is one hot slutty MILF any you Libs who are reading this would have no problem putting a clothes pin on your nose and laying the dick to slutty Sarah. Sluts are hot. Our ace internet reporter Belly Boy, the Dean of Feederism Proud FA, Culinary nutritionist the Chef and I Fat Bastard along with every other red blooded American loves sluts and lesbians.

Would Obama hit Palin? No doubt! He'd give her a case of jungle fever that would melt the polar ice caps faster than global warming and in the process he'd fuck some sense into that slutty airhead. W too would get coked up and drunk and screw her but Romney could fall in a barrel of tits and end up sucking his thumb and not only that; when Sarah got one look at his magic Mormon underwear she'd laugh herself silly.



Props to Obama. Even though he's man enough to appreciate BBW's and sluts like the Palin women he has a hot chocolate mama who blows them all away. If he wants thick booty the first lady's got it. Baby got back!


Not only does the first lady got the looks and the style there is one important thing that she hasn't got and that's an STD. So while Barry O is man enough and while there is probably no muff too tough he's stickin with Michelle.

Typical Frumpy Mormon Women

 Even Bush would have to blow a lot of coke before he could get with one of these matronly Mormon maidens. Romney would probably do the two normal sized one on the left and perhaps he would open the trap door on his Mormon underpants so that the fat one could give him an enema. God knows he needs one especially if she stuck the nozzle in his ear.


Think about it. If the whole world was Mormon there would be a lot of guys spanking their monkeys because they never get any pussy. Do the math. Here on earth the ratio of male to female is about 50 50. If a few rich Mormon fucksticks like Romney married 50+ women there would not be enough single women for the working stiffs.



Call me old fashioned but guys need to get laid on a regular basis. Sure, us fat boys beat off to porn a lot because it's harder for us to get laid but still.... we need some of that sweet pun tang as much as the next guy.

Hot Mormon Mama Marie Osmond On Dancing With the Stars

I am not saying that Mormon women can't be hot and that Obama wouldn't hit one. Marie Osmond is smokin hot and even though Bristol Palin has a slut pedigree she'll have to slut it up a whole lot more to be as hot as Marie. I suspect that even Marie Osmond is a little bit too country and a little bit too rock & roll for some stiff like Mitt Romney.

Bristol Palin Slutting It Up Big Time On Dancing With the Stars

Would Romney hit Bristol Palin? Hmmm... Let's see... they ARE both a couple of whores. Romney changes his positions to please the client. Bristol is young and we know that Mormons like em young. Hell, Brigham Young had nearly 60 wives and many were pre teens. Even though Bristol has had a lot of Levi Johnson's Johnson, Mitt would probably hit Bristol as a way of auditioning her for one of his many wives when he becomes a god of his on planet as Mormon doctrine promises.

I, Fat Bastard can only opine on this subject so I would have to refer to an expert, and who better than the big dog himself.... Bill Bubba Clinton? Bill Clinton has gotten his Slick Willie in more prime and not so prime beaver than most porn stars. Bill Clinton has laid more pipe than than Exxon. Bill Clinton still gets more ass than a toilet seat.

Bill Allegedly Asked Paula (scared of you) Jones For a Blow Job

Bill hit some real skanks and that not even W would have hit even if he was on a 3 day coke binge. Bill is like a rock star with many groupies and I have had many a rock stars tell me that when it comes to groupies go for the knob. Boom Shaka Laka Rapper Belly Boy will tell you to go for a Lewinsky.

Monica Lewinski opening wide for Bubba and another pearl necklace

Neither Romney nor Obama would hit Lewinsky or Paula Jones.

If you would like a more serious explanation for why Mitt Romney is unfit and too unAmerican to be POTUS visit ROMNEY THE LIAR


Now for some more Hits and Misses.

Obama hit dat. No hit for Mitt.

Obama hit dat. No hit for Mitt.

Obama hit dat. No hit for Mitt.

Obama would not hit it but Mitt might sell its blubber for bio-fuel.