Who Really Killed Hostess Twinkie?

It wasn't the union that killed the Twinkie. It was Romney style vulture capitalism.

 

Before you go blaming the union for Hostess' demise, look at the facts.

In 1995 a company called International Bakeries, which was essentially a vulture capital arm of a computer company called Data Processing Financial and General Corporation, went on a massive spending spree. They not only bought Hostess but the San Francisco French Bread Company, John J. Nissen Baking Company, Drake's, My Bread Company, and tons of other companies.

They did this by borrowing aka legal theft and eventually defaulted on their loans like Bain and Romney did, leading to bankruptcy in 2004.

In 2009 they emerged from bankruptcy by BORROWING MORE MONEY. They borrowed from Ripplewood Holdings, Silver Point, Monarch, and GE Capital. All these loans caused more payments and more interest accruing, leading to more and more debt. It was this debt that caused their collapse not the union.

If it hadn't been for easy credit, merger mania, leveraged buyouts, and greedy conglomerates whose philosophy was "if you can't beat them buy them out," then all the little brands (including Hostess) that this group of predators bought with borrowed money might still be small and innovative enough to survive financial hard times with little or no debt of their own.

So always remember: it wasn't the unions that killed the Twinkie, it was the modern vulture capitalist culture.

 HERE is the whole sordid Twinkie affair.

Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

Fatlings and gluttons everywhere can relax. The Vulture Capitalists that bought and raped Hostess and saddled it with debt did not destroy the recipe. All the bakers who made Hostess snack  know the recipe and will probably make Twinkies and other delicious Hostess snack cakes and who knows, they might even make them bigger and better. Twinkies may have been big enough for gluttons in the 60's and 70's but today's gluttons require a larger Twinkie. Hostess products will endure and it was the quality of their products that kept them in business since 1930 but it took greedy vulture capitialists to destroy iconic Hostess company but they cannot destroy the brand. Twinkie the kid will ride again!

Perhaps the greatest expert on Twinkies is Big Fat RRRRRRRRReverend Burn. He does not see Little Debbie as a solution and I think he has a point. The Little Debbie versions of the Twinkie really does pale in comparison to the real thing. They will do in a pinch but they are like hamburger vs filet mignon.

UPDATE!

Pabst Owner Metropoulos Considers Bid for Hostess Brands

C. Dean Metropoulos & Co., the private equity firm that owns Pabst Brewing Co., is considering an offer to buy Hostess Brands Inc., which said today it plans to liquidate its business.

“Our family would love to purchase these iconic brands,” said Daren Metropoulos, a principal at the Greenwich, Connecticut-based firm, which paid $250 million for Pabst in 2010. “We are actively pursuing this deal as no doubt strategics will also.”

C. Dean Metropoulos, founder of the firm, has specialized in purchasing struggling brands, such as Chef Boyardee and Bumble Bee Tuna and turning them around. The firm paid close attention to the maker of Twinkies and Wonder Bread during its bankruptcy proceedings, Daren Metropoulos has said.

“We have analyzed this opportunity very carefully for a few years now,” Metropoulos said in an e-mail. “Shedding the complications of the unions and old plants makes it even more attractive.”

Fatlings and gluttons face a dilemma!

While this news maybe good for gluttons and other junk food junkies it is still bad news for workers who bring us fatlings Twinkies.  Should we remain loyal to the Hostess Twinkie brand while another vulture capitalist group exploits the Twinkie crisis and screws workers in the bargain? Will these golden cake with the creamy centers be too much for us gluttons to resist? Will we succumb to their ooey gooey deliciousness and cave to the corporate gangsters? In other words, will become scabs?

I, Fat Bastard, call for a Twinkie boycott. Yes fellow gluttons you heard it right. I, Fat Bastard, am calling for a North American boycott of the Hostess brand.

Ingredients

Sugar, Enriched Flour (Bleached Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Vegetable Shortening, (Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and Cottonseed Oils), Eggs, Corn Syrup. Contains 2% or less of each of the following: Leavening (Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Baking Soda), Salt, Modified Wheat Starch, Artificial Flavors, Polysorbate 60, Mono-and Diglycerides, Isolated Soy Protein, Sorbic Acid (to retain freshness), Annotate and Turmeric Extractive Colors, Xanthan Gum, Soy Lecithin, Milk.

We need to find Twinkie alternatives and if times get desperate we need to back our own. Back in WW-2 folks planted victory gardens as a way of fighting Nazi tyranny. Today we need to start victory kitchen and maybe persuade local bakeries to make victory Twinkies as a way to fight tyrannical corporate fascism. Our appetites will be heard.


I urge all Hostess Twinkie loving folks to switch to Little Debbie.  Little Debbie is a family owned company whose products are delicious and a best buy. As good as Hostess products many of the Little Debbie products surpass them in quality and you get much more bang for the buck. To find out more about Little Debbie click HERE



This early photo shows Debbie handing out Swiss Rolls to grocery shoppers. Just behind Debbie is her mother, Sharon, and her grandfather and McKee Foods co-founder, O.D. McKee.

The Little Debbie company should maybe update it's logo with a fat kid like Honey Boo Boo

Ingredients: Enriched bleached flour (wheat flour, barley malt, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin mononitrate [vitamin B1], riboflavin [vitamin B2], folic acid), water, sugar, corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated soybean and cottonseed oil with TBHQ to preserve flavor, dextrose, eggs, modified corn starch, whey (milk), leavening (sodium aluminum phosphate, baking soda), salt, soybean oil, emulsifiers (sorbitan monostearate, polysorbate 60, mono- and diglycerides, propylene glycol monostearate, sodium stearoyl lactylate, soy lecithin), natural and artificial flavor, sorbic acid (to retain freshness), corn starch, colors (Yellow #5, Red #40), citric acid, potassium sorbate (to retain freshness). Contains: wheat, eggs, milk, soy.

 

Basically Little Debbie offers two Twinkie-ish  snack cakes. 

If you compare the ingredients there are some differences but they are pretty close in flavor and mouth feel. It's kinda like comparing a Cadillac to a Buick. It's really the same car.

Ingredients

Enriched wheat flour, sugar, corn syrup, niacin, water, high fructose corn syrup, vegetable and/or animal shortening – containing one or more of partially hydrogenated soybean, cottonseed and canola oil, and beef fat, dextrose, whole eggs, modified corn starch, cellulose gum, whey, leavenings (sodium acid pyrophosphate, baking soda, monocalcium phosphate), salt, cornstarch, corn flour, corn syrup, solids, mono and diglycerides, soy lecithin, polysorbate 60, dextrin, calcium caseinate, sodium stearoyl lactylate, wheat gluten, calcium sulphate, natural and artificial flavors, caramel color, yellow No. 5, red #40