Bigger Fatter Politics: pig horse hybrid

Friday, May 2, 2014

Bigger Fatter Riders Demand Bigger Stronger Horses

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE FAT!

BOISE, Idaho (AP) — Wranglers in the West who have for decades cashed in on the allure of getting on a horse and setting out on an open trail say they have had to add bigger horses to their stables to help carry larger tourists over the rugged terrain.

The ranches say they are using draft horses, the diesels of the horse world, in ever greater numbers to make sure they don't lose out on income from potential customers of any size who come out to get closer to the West of yesteryear.

"Even though a person might be overweight, or, you know, heavier than the average American, it's kind of nice we can provide a situation where they can ride with their family," said wrangler T. James "Doc" Humphrey.

Humphrey's 10-gallon hat, goatee, black vest and spurs are a tourist favorite at Sombrero Ranches, east of Rocky Mountain National Park, where they have 20 big fucking draft horses, including Belgians and Percherons, and 25 draft horses mixes.

HIGH HO FATTY AWAY!

Ranch operators say they began adding the bigger horses in the 1990s, but the pace has picked up in recent years. Over the last 20 years, obesity has increased to more than a third of adults and about 17 percent of children age 2 to 19, according to federal statistics.

Is NAAFA Getting Soft on Fat Hatred?

"I think it's wonderful that these people are looking to accommodate people of larger body size," said Piggy Howell, spokeswoman for the NAAFA (National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance), adding that more businesses should become "size savvy."

Hoss Cartwright: Anorexic by Today's New Standards

Clearly horses are fat phobic and fat shaming creatures. Sure they can handle a skinny fatling like Hoss Cartright but are they willing to take on a super heavyweight rider like the girls you find at a NAAFA convention?

Just like we fatlings deserve super sized seats on airplanes and movie theaters, we also deserve and demand super sized horses. For centuries horse breeders have hated fat people. It is high time that horses are bred with elephants and camels so that fat people can have a trusty steed. They have to get down on their knees like a camel so that we can mount them or breed them with pigs so they will be naturally low to the ground.