How to Shit A Republican and Not Wreck Your Asshole

I, Fat Bastard rarely endorse a product but with all the shit coming out of the mouths/asses of Republicans  I am reminded just how big of a pain in the ass that they are. All of us fatties have gone to the shitter and given birth to to a giant Republican. When ever I know that a huge ass busting shit is about to come down the poop shoot I call it a Republican. When it is particular nasty and it flip flops into the brownie bowl I call it a Romney. If it is a spray of floating nuggets that just won't flush I call it a Ryan.



A big ass busting turd can do as much damage your butt hole as that butt hole George Bush did to the economy. Brute force is not the best way to purge your colon of Republicans. Like Romney you need to switch positions in order to coax these colon clogging rectal wreckers from your lower bowel.

GOP elephant giving birth to more Romneys

Don't Fuck With Chumlee!

Don't fuck with Chumlee or his posse.

Chumlee may seem like a simpleton but Chumlee is really fucking smart!

Antwaun Austin Chumlee's Muscle!

Chumlee has plenty of backup!

Antwaun Austin  The shop's 6' 5" security guard. Usually seen in the background, Antwaun sometimes sells store T-shirts to people who come in, helps customers bring in large items, and when necessary, removes customers who are unruly or disruptive.

In the video you will see some thug fucking with Chumlee and his posse. The thug got thumped!

Don't fuck with Chumlee!

More Cool Shit About Chumlee

The Bacon Shortage: Prepare for the Aporkalypse

 

Apocalypse or Aporkalypse?

This could get ugly folks. Droughts worldwide have caused a reduction in pig feed and I have said many times that vegetables are what food eats but unfortunately for pigs there is not enough feed so pig farmers are thinning the their herds.



I predict hoarding and pork riots. This is a bacon economy and if you think the financial meltdown was bad this pork shortage will deliver a death blow to our economy.... and it's not just the bacon! Bacon comes from the noble pig but so does barbecue, pork chops, pork rinds and most sausage.


And fuck that turkey bacon! It sucks. Don't be fooled by it. Our heart valves need pork fat!


Beef bacon is sacrilege!

The 850 calories formidable BK Quad Stacker

Fatlings will be starving to death in they can't have their bacon cheese burger super stackers! A cheese burger without bacon is just plain unAmerican! Say goodbye to these appetizers.

Wendy's 660 calorie single Baconator

Hard hit will be the Hardee's 1,170 calorie

Monster Biscuit 

That has the holy pork trinity of bacon, sausage and heavenly ham

The impressive 850 calorie Wendy's Double Baconator

Wendy's Triple Baconator meal 1,540 calories
83 g fat (33 g saturated, 4 g trans)
2,370 mg sodium

Ann Coulter: Politically Savy Or A Crazy Skinny Chick?

 

Most of us fat guys physically can't pork fat girls and besides we really are not that attracted to them anyway.  We all like to bone skinny chicks regardless of their race, creed, color, country of origin or political beliefs.  I admit it! I would bone Ann Coulter in a heartbeat and so would every other fatling I know. For the life of me I am surprised that she did not hook up with the Drugster Rush Limbaugh. WTF, you know Ann must be smoking crack to be that skinny. I think the reason why Rush won't bone her is that he prefers kids.

''We need to execute people like (John Walker Lindh) in order to physically intimidate liberals.''

—Ann Coulter

Crazy Chicks are HOT!

 
''We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee.'' —Ann Coulter

 

''My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.''—Ann Coulter

''I don't really like to think of it as a murder. It was terminating Tiller in the 203rd trimester. ... I am personally opposed to shooting abortionists, but I don't want to impose my moral values on others.''—Ann Coulter, on the murder of Kansas abortion doctor George Tiller, FOX News interview, June 22, 2009

''It would be a much better country if women did not vote. That is simply a fact. In fact, in every presidential election since 1950 - except Goldwater in '64 - the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted.''—Ann Coulter, May 17, 2003

 

''God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.''— Ann Coulter, on FOX News, June 20, 2001

 

 ''They're [Democrats] always accusing us of repressing their speech. I say let's do it. Let's repress them. Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment.''—Ann Coulter, speech at the University of Florida, October 20, 2005

''If I'm going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot.''—Ann Coulter

 ''We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity.''—Ann Coulter

As bat shit crazy as Ann Coulter is, she has nothing on Ted Nugent.  Ann's rhetoric sells a shit load of shitty books so the bitch is rich. Skinny and rich trumps crazy in my book.  Ted hasn't sold a record in years. Ann has had the good sense not to endorse criminal Mitt Romney.

"If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year". -Ted Nugent A Romney Supporter-

"Obama, he's a piece of shit. I told him to suck on my machine gun. Hey Hillary [Clinton], you might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch."  -Ted Nugent A Romney Supporter-

 

 

More comments from Treasonous Ted Nugent

1. Nugent On Then-First Lady Hillary Clinton: "You Probably Can't Use The Term 'Toxic Cunt' In Your Magazine, But That's What She Is." From a 1994 interview with Denver, CO music magazine Westword:

2. Nugent: "Piece Of Shit" Obama Should "Suck On My Machine Gun." From a 2007 concert where an assault-rifle-wielding Nugent also referred to then-Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton as "a worthless bitch":

3. Nugent: Deceased Florida Teenager Travyon Martin Was A "Dope Smoking, Racist Gangsta Wannabe." [Rare, 7/14/13]

4. Nugent's Reprehensible Commentary On The African American Community. During a 2013 appearance on conspiracy theorist Alex Jones radio show, Nugent claimed that African-Americans could fix "the black problem" if they just put their "heart and soul into being honest, law-abiding, [and] delivering excellence at every move in your life." [Genesis Communication Network, The Alex Jones Show, 7/16/13, via Media Matters]

5. More Inexcusable Commentary From Nugent On The African-American Community. In a WND column, Nugent wrote that his claim Travyon Martin was a violent person was evidence of "the same mindless tendency to violence we see in black communities across America." [WND, 7/24/13]

6. Nugent Compares Obama To A Nazi. During a March 2013 appearance on 9-11 truther Pete Santilli's radio show, Nugent compared Obama to a Nazi who kills his Jewish neighbors, stating the president is like "a German in 1938 pretending to respect the Jews and then going home and putting on his brown shirt and forcing his neighbors onto a train to be burned to death." [Media Matters, 3/22/13]

7. Nugent: Civil Rights Leaders Jackson And Sharpton Speak In "Ebonic Mumbo-Jumbo." In a column for birther website WND, Nugent claimed that if a Republican president had the same drone policy as the Obama administration, "Jesse Jackson and Al Not-So-Sharpton would be lisping their ebonic mumbo-jumbo that the policy and the president are racist and bigoted." [Media Matters, 2/11/13]

8. Nugent: "I'm Beginning To Wonder If It Would Have Been Best Had The South Won The Civil War."From a column for The Washington Times:

9. Nugent: Real Americans Are "Working Hard, Playing Hard, White Motherfucking Shit Kickers Who Are Independent." From a 1995 interview with Bob Mack of Grand Royal magazine:

10. Nugent: African-American Rappers Appearing On MTV Are "Big Uneducated Greasy Black Mongrels." From a recording posted on YouTube, supposedly "from his radio show [in] 1994":

11. Ted Nugent On Suspected Undocumented Immigrants: "I'd Like To Shoot Them Dead." From a 2008 appearance on Fox News' Hannity and Colmes:

Voter Supression

Voter suppression is a long time Neo Conservative and Republican strategy. Romney wants to suppress the votes of Blacks, students and senior citizens. Watch this very funny video by Sarah Silverman. It is as funny as it is informative as well.

I'm Voting Republican

Comments?

Romney Elitist Snob

If you don't understand the implications of Romney disrespecting the working poor then you are an asshole worse than Mitt Romney.

When we look at the words of Christ Jesus which are recorded below, we are reminded what it is to be a true follower of His.

Would you like some help understanding the Sermon on the Mount?  If so, please CLICK HERE to read a verse by verse commentary of the Sermon on the Mount.

 

SOURCE: THE GOSPEL OF MATTHEW

DATE WRITTEN : 63 AD

Matthew 5

The Beatitudes

¹And seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain, and when He was seated His disciples came to Him. ²Then He opened His mouth and taught them, saying:

³"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴Blessed are those who mourn,
    For they shall be comforted.
⁵Blessed are the meek,
    For they shall inherit the earth.

⁶Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    For they shall be filled.
⁷Blessed are the merciful,
    For they shall obtain mercy.
⁸Blessed are the pure in heart,
    For they shall see God.
⁹Blessed are the peacemakers,
    For they shall be called sons of God.
¹⁰Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake,
    For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
¹¹"Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. ¹²Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Romney 5

When we look at the words of Christ Jesus which are recorded below, we are reminded what it is to be a true follower of His.

SOURCE: Romney's $50,000 a plate dinner.

The Greeditudes

¹And seeing the multi millionaires, He went up on a podium, and when He was seated His disciples came to Him. ²Then He opened His lying mouth and taught them, saying:

³"Fuck are the poor in money    

   For theirs is the to make the rich richer.
⁴Blessed are those who invest offshore,
    For they shall be compensated.
⁵Blessed are the greedy,
    For they shall inherit the earth.

⁶Fuck those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    For they shall be fucked.
⁷Blessed are the greedy,
    For they shall obtain wealth.
⁸Blessed are the bankers,
    For they shall see gold.
⁹Wicked are the peacemakers,
    For they shall harm the military industrial complex.
¹⁰Blessed are those who have prostituted for moneys' sake,
    For theirs is the kingdom of Fort Knox.
¹¹"Blessed we who revile and persecute working people, and say all kinds of evil against them falsely for My sake. ¹²Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in tax shelters, for so they made huge profits who were before you.