Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Al Roker Pooped His Pants At White House

It has recently been revealed that the once roly-poly celebrity and weatherman Al Roker crapped his pants at the White House in 2002. Al Roker or the Roque as he's referred to by his fans claims to have accidentally pinched a loaf in his boxers while visiting Pres. George W. Bush in 2002. The Roque blames gastric bypass surgery for causing an inability to control his bowels and of course that is a reasonable explanation because many people who get gastric bypass surgery are unable to control their bowel function. Then again, it could simply have been a very large wet fart.

Here Al Roker is queefing a fart!

"And I probably went off and ate something I wasn't supposed to. And as I'm walking to the press room … I gotta pass a little gas here. I'm walking by myself. Who's gonna know? Only a little something extra came out," - Al Roker-

I don't know the Roque's political stripe nor do I know about the stripes in his BVD's but another explanation could be that he was sending a message to President Bush. There are a lot of people who would like to leave former President Bush and his criminal vice president Dick Cheney a big smelly turd and with the incomplete digestion caused by ghastly bypass surgery that renders those BMs are most foul the wisecracking weatherman may have been sending President Bush a not-so-subtle message.

Perhaps the wily weatherman Al Rocher wanted to make a stink at the White House to send a message to Bush in protest of the invasion of Iraq and to show the Bush regime the inhumanity of biological and chemical weapons. Since most gastric bypass patients wear adult diapers I find it a bit suspicious that a man as smart as the Roque would not be wearing a Depends diaper. Logical truth of this is quite clear; Al Roker was sending the White House a message.

I can't finish this article without asking the question who's better the rotund Al Roker or the skinny and emaciated Al Roker. I will not offer an opinion on this, but instead I will let my readers decide.


Our Internet reporter, Rotunda Hindenburg filed a freedom of information request under the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) and forced Secret Service to turn over this photo of Al Roker's poop. Big Al was not honest when he said that the mess in his pants was a result of a rogue fart.



What ended up in the newsman's pants was an extremely large stool that clearly could've been a threat to the President's safety and national security. We will work diligently to discover why this incident has been spun and played down. Not only do I smell turd I also smell a cover-up so I've contacted Alex Jones from Prison Planet and he has agreed to sniff around and get the poop on the poop.

Alex Jones, "You can't sweep something this big under the rug and closing the lid on something like this will not make it go away. Sources tell me that this is a mutant stool created by secret underground government lab in Flushing New York."

More on Fecal Gate  Fecal Gate begs bigger questions

By John Commode and Jean Papier

Sometimes, you just have to use your hand. Give it a good shake, and do what you think is right. You're allowed to stink, even if you're a Washington DC reporter. In fact, it's encouraged. And just because your job description doesn't say you should report the fact that  rectal sewage gushes into the Main Stream Media every day because a mammoth stool caused your ass  to jam, you probably should anyway.

It seems Fecal Gate may  be a case of covering up a controversy after all, though apparently it's too soon to say so definitively. 

Thankfully there are independent news sources like Bigger Fatter Politics were not afraid to venture into the putrid muck and report on the politics of the day. The mainstream media will try to polish this turd but with journalists like Fat Bastard of the award-winning bigger fatter politics and scatology experts like Alex Jones from Prison Planet shady government figures will be held accountable from the White House to the outhouse. 

Deadly dung or benign BM? 

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