Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Animal Planet's Mermaid Hoax

Misinformation is conveyed in many different ways. Propaganda and its dissemination is both an art and a science there is an old saying in the Republican Party that goes,"if you tell a lie long enough and loud enough eventually people will believe it." Lies and propaganda are is old as man himself. These days lies and propaganda had become very sophisticated. Let's take Alex Jones. Alex Jones says a lot of things that simply aren't true and the guy acts like a lunatic while he is saying them but occasionally Alex Jones says something of great importance regarding some sort of conspiracy and often what he says is the truth but nobody's going to believe it because Alex Jones who is seen as a crackpot said it.

Anyone who watched animal planet's show about mermaids viewed it with a healthy dose of skepticism but as the show went on the people involved began to garner more credibility with the viewers and eventually people became more and more convinced that there are indeed mermaids and that the United States Navy was covering up there existence so that they could continue development of a sonar weapon. By the end of the show there were people who were still skeptical and other people who believed that there are indeed mermaids. It all makes sense. Humans do cry salt tears and we are the only mammals we do. Humans can hold their breath longer than any other mammal. Humans didn't evolve from a common ancestor that came from the ocean as all life did but then returned to the ocean. This was the true part. The lies were that PT Barnum had an actual mermaids specimen, mermaids were found washed up on a beach, a mermaid was sighted off the coast of Israel, and mermaids were photographed and videotaped at the basin oil rig.

Here's what you not being told!

Everyone knows that there are a lot of humans waddling around or rolling around who are referred to in the common parlance as land whales. Another common term for chubby men are seals and walruses. Human land whales, seals and walruses are indeed real, we see them every day but what scientist will not tell you is that this is part of the evolutionary process. As you can tell from the picture at the top of this blog human beings are evolving into another species and it is starting with obesity. We are developing thick layers of fat so that we can survive in aquatic environments. We are also becoming immobile in a terrestrial world. The scientific team here at bigger fatter politics has been looking at various ways to defeat gravity or reduce it enough so that fat people could get fatter and still have adequate mobility. Scientists sometimes develop tunnel vision and this is true of our esteemed scientists such as Dr Eaton, Dr. Burger and Dr Grazenheimer. Dr. Grazenheimer has in working on antigravity devices that would allow fatlings to overcome the effects of gravity. While in theory this shows promise for the gravitationally challenged its practical application is decades away. Staring us in the face has been the solution all along, good old-fashioned H2O. Once in water fat people can move just fine. This is not to say that that people can ever become the next Michael Phelps but we all know that when in water we become white as a feather. Because of our thick thick thick layers of fat we are designed to prevent thermal conductivity caused by water. If we jump in a cold pool of water we don't start shivering like a skinny person does but instead we feel cool until we exert ourselves now we get warm and in turn we warm up the water. Mostly however,  our blubber insulates us from the heat robbing effects of cold water. That is the purpose of blubber. It's no mystery as to why fat people can withstand the cold.

Like it or not, the evolutionary process is currently taking place. A lot of things drive the evolutionary process and one of the main drivers of evolution is food. Let's take the giraffe. The giraffe developed a long neck so that he could reach food that other animals could not. Our food is making us fat and in order to survive we can either eat different food or adapt to our growing obesity and seeing as how we are not going to give up the food we love more than life itself we are going to have to adapt and like the aquatic ape, the land whale will once again return to the ocean. We will be at a great advantage as ocean dwelling creatures. Because we have more intelligence than any other creature we will not only survive but we will thrive. For millions of years we will retain our our lungs and we will be mammals much like a walrus or the elephant seal.

I am bringing forth this fact to let you know that what the animal planet network did with its show

about mermaids was a classic attempt at propaganda. To mermaids exist? Who knows? Mermaids could indeed exist but now when someone brings up that possibility your mind is closed because you have been lied to. It is been known for a long time by government scientists that there is a split in the human species and that a certain percentage of humans will remain terrestrial humans and that the majority of humans will become aquatic.
The obesity epidemic bloom is simply the first stage in the next great part of human evolution. This evolution will have far greater effects on the planet than any other in history. There will be billions of fat people living in Earth's oceans and the effect will be surprising. Our collective massive body heat will warm the ocean by nearly 10°F. This means that more and more of the polar ice caps will shrink and more and more landmass will become covered with water making survival for terrestrial humans more difficult. Because global warming will increase 20 or 30 fold by our presence in the water category five hurricanes will be the weak ones and hurricanes will become as powerful as EF five tornadoes. Teresstial humans will become extict or de-evolove.

Present day examples of human de-evolution exist everywhere. Leading Republicans are turning into chimpanzees and Muslims are turning into piles of shit with eyes. Some are already being called Shiites or Shits.

Sunni Muslim males are evolving into gay billy goats.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Private Sector Job Creation Bush vs Obama

The reason that I started bigger fatter politics, bigger fatter blog and naphtha is because I'm a stickler for the truth. Most liberals and progressives hold the truth three sacred.

The filthy lying Republicans in Congress and in the media lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and when they're not lying they are distorting and misleading. One thing that these con bastards hate is the truth and another thing these treasonous con bastards hate are the facts that lead to the truth. So without further ado I'm going to present some indisputable, irrefutable and immutable facts and if you cons don't like it that I suggest that you cut your own lying throats somebody else is in have to do it.

True or False: Pres. Obama created more private sector jobs than President George W. Bush

Question for CONS: When did the most government job growth occur? A. During the Obama administration B. During the Clinton administration C. during the George HW Bush administration C. during the George W. Bush administration

A question for cons: when were the most private-sector jobs created? A. during the Bush administration. B. during the Obama administration

Who sucks more dick? A. Former Republican senator Larry Craig  B. Far right Christian evangelist Ted Haggard
Since Obama took office how many jobs as the economy gained? A. The economy actually lost jobs B. the economy gained 1 million jobs C. The economy gained 6.8 million private sector jobs D. The economy gained less than 1 million jobs

Question for cons: Who drinks more Mitch McConnell at a quart of semen a day or John Boener at 2 gallons of vodka per week?