Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Getting Fat on the Cheap: Proud FA's Guide for the Frugal Glutton

Follow the fat/fast food pyramid! If it's fried, EAT IT!
Getting Fat on the Cheap: Finding $weet Deals on Food
By Proud FA

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None of the fat haters and food cops like MeMe Roth appreciate how expensive it can be to get super morbidly obese. Considering the fact that most of the super morbidly obese are too fat to work one can only admire the dedication and ingenuity of the super morbidly obese. When you consider the fact that many of these people are bed bound yet they still are able to obtain food in the fifteen thousand to twenty thousand range you have to be awed. That's beyond impressive. It's downright admirable.

I, Proud FA, the Dean of Feederism have been educating obese folks for years to the simple fact that fat fattens best but guzzling melted butter or lard is not very appetizing and a large part of the joys of morbid obesity is eating all that tasty food.

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When if comes to pleasurable gaining and the hedonistic lifestyle fast food is always a best bet and it can be a best buy!

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The only thing that beats fast food is home delivery. The burger joints should offer FREE delivery to us fatlings!


Getting morbidly obese costs money!

As a public service to our fattest readers Fat Bastard asked me to find our fatlings some food deals. Let's start with a fatlings all time favorite, fast food. Fast food rules. It tastes great, it's quick, it's economical and it's very fattening! How can you beat that? In the case of the average run of the mill fatling fast food is affordable but when you're talking about hyper gluttons like Belly Boy and obesity expert and gaining innovator "Dr" Gerald "Teddy" Bear even "junk" and fast food can be a budget buster. With savings up to 90% fast food coupons are the answer.

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KFC offers a veritable plethora of fattening food and they offer printable coupons. Click Here!

Check out Wendy's 99 cent everyday value meals. Click Here!

Save a whopping 90% on local eats HERE!

Recommended reading

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How to Get Fat

"Into gluttony? Well, then this is the book for you. Eat sugar. Eat carbs. EAT FAT! Say "yes" to fast food... All of those things plus a steady stream of late night binges will have you on the fast track to fatsville."

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Super Mega List of Restaurant Coupons at Mommy $AVES BIG!
Click HERE!

99 Restaurants ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for ninety nine restaurants.

Arbys Restaurant Coupons ( November-7 )
Printable coupons for Arby's Restaurants, free regular roast beef sandwich. (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)

A&W Coupons ( December-31 )
Printable coupons for A&W Restaurants, $1 off combo.

Baskin Robbins ( November-30 )
Printable coupons for Baskin Robbins, $1 off, free ice cream. (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)

Bennigans ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Bennigans grill restaurants.

Bob Evans Restarant ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Bob Evans restaurants. (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)

Boston Market ( November-09 )
Printable coupons for Boston Market restaurants, $1, $2, $3 or $4 off. (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)

Brueggers ( Must Sign Up )
Print coupons for brueggers.

Buca Di Beppo ( December-31 )
Printable coupons for buca di beppo italian restaurants, $10 off.

Carls Jr Burgers ( December-3 )
Printable coupons for Carls JR restaurants, free small beverage.

Cheeseburger In Paradise ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Cheeseburger In Paradise Grill and Bar, free appetizer. (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)

Chick Fil A ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Chick Fil A.

Chili's Grill and Bar ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Chili's Grill and Bar, free appetizer. (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)

Chuck e Cheese Coupons ( November-30 )
Various Printable coupons, pizzas, soft drinks and free tokens. (Too many screaming kids!)

Cold Stone Creamery ( December-28 )
Printable coupons for Cold Stone ice cream and cakes. (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)

Dairy Queen Coupons ( Must Sign Up ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Dairy Queen stores.

Denny's ( November-11 )
Printable coupons for Dennys restaurants, BOGO smoothie, free quesadilla, BOGO entree. (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)

Dippin Dots ( November-30 )
Coupons for dippin dots ice cream, BOGO medium cup.

Dunkin Donuts ( Must Sign Up ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Dunkin Donuts.

Eat'n Park ( Must Sign up ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Eat'n park restaurants.

Einstein Bros Bagels ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Einstein Bros Bagels restaurants.

El Pollo Loco ( November-11 )
Printable coupons for el pollo loco restaurants, $1, $3, free cake.

Fannie May ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for fannie may.

Fazolis ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Fazolis restaurants.

Friendly's ( Must Sign Up ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Friendly's restaurants.

Fuddruckers Restaurant ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupon for Fuddruckers Restaurant.

Hard Rock Cafe Coupons ( November-15 )
Printable coupons for Hard Rock Cafe coupons.

Hardees Restaurant Coupons ( November-20 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite and Award Winner)
Printable coupons for Hardees restaurants & special promotions.




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IHOP ( Must Sign Up ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Coupons for ihop restaurants.

Jack In The Box ( November-8 )
Printable coupons for Jack in the Box restaurants, $1 off.

Jamba Juice ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Jamba Juice location.

Johnny Rockets ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Johnny Rockets restaurants.

KFC Coupons ( November-23 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons KFC restaurant.

Krispy Kreme Coupons ( December-31 ) (stopped using trans fat and flavor has suffered)
Printable coupons for Krispy Kreme doughnuts, 1 dozen doughnuts free.

Little Caesars Coupons ( November-30 )
$1.99 Crazy combo for printable coupon at Little Caesars.

Local Printable Restaurant Coupons ( Hot ! Nov-08 )
This restaurant coupon site is probably the best online. They have fast food restaurants, classy restaurants and more. Eat & Drink, wine & Dine at your local restaurants for literally a fraction of the price.

Longhorn Steakhouse ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Longhorn Steakhouse restaurants, free appetizer. (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)

Long John Silvers ( December-25 )
Printable Coupons for long john silvers restaurants, $1, $2, $4, free black cherry lemonade.

Maggianos ( November-15 )
Printable coupons for Maggianos restaurants, free soda.

Max & Ermas ( Limited Time Offer )
Printable coupons for Max and Ermas restaurants, Tuesdays - Kids eat free!

McCormick & Schmicks ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for McCormick and Schmicks seafood restaurants.

Mcdonalds Coupons ( Limited Time )
Printable coupons for Mcdonalds.

Mimis Cafe Coupons ( November-12 )
Printable coupons for Mimis Cafe, 20% off, BOGO breakfast, free kids meal.

Nathans Hot Dog Coupons ( Ongoing )
Printable coupons for Nathans Hot Dog restaurants, $0.05 hot dog.

Old Country Buffet ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for Old Country Buffet, a free buffet meal.

Olive Garden ( Must Sign Up ) (Skimpy portions)
printable Coupons for Olive Garden italian restaurants.

Orange Julius ( Must Sign Up )
printable Coupons for Orange Julius restaurants, $1 smoothies.

Panda Express ( Must Sign Up )
Printable Coupons for Panda Express chinese restaurants.

Panera Bread ( Must Sign Up ) (High quality but not enough fat)
Printable coupons for Panera Bread.

Peets Coffee ( Limited Time Offer )
Printable coupons for Peets coffee shops, $2 off.

P.F. Chang's ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for P.F. Chang's chinese food restaurants.

Planet Hollywood ( December-31 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Planet Hollywood, $5 off $20, $10 off $10, $10 off $20.

Pollo Tropical ( Must Sign Up )
Printable coupons for pollo tropical restaurants..

Ponderosa Steakhouse Coupons ( Ongoing ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Several Great Coupons valid at any local Ponderosa Steakhouse restaurant near you.

Popeyes Chicken Coupon ( Ongoing )
Print Popeyes coupons in your area, try their restaurant coupon finder.

Quiznos Coupons ( November-09 )
Printable coupons Quiznos restaurants, various coupons.

Red Lobster Coupons ( November-15 )
Printable restaurant coupons available for canadians and usa residents.

Red Robin ( Must Sign Up ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable Coupons for Red Robin restaurants.

Red Mango ( Ongoing )
coupons for red mango

Restaurant Coupons For Arizona ( Ongoing )
Several Great local printable restaurant coupons for arizona residents.

Romanos Macaroni Grill ( Must Sign Up ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite! Very high quality!)
Coupons for romanos macaroni grill ( italian restaurant )

Rubio's Fresh Mexican Grill ( November-14 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Coupons for rubios restaurants, $1 off.

Ruby's Diner ( Ongoing ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Ruby Diner restaurants.

Ruby Tuesday ( November-08 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Ruby Tuesday restaurants.

San Francisco Restaurant ( Ongoing )
Local coupons for San Francisco, pizza , fast food and lean cuisine.

Schlotzskys Deli Coupons ( November-18 ) Too many healthy choices
Printable coupons for Schlotzsky Deli fast food restaurants.

Smokey Bones Coupons ( November-24 )
Printable coupons for Smokey Bones restaurants.

Sonic Drive-in ( November-09 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Sonic Drive-in restaurants.

Souper Salad ( November-8 )
Printable coupons for souper salad restaurants.

Souplantation & Sweet Tomatoes ( November-11 )
Coupons for souplantation restaurants.

Starbucks Coupons ( Ongoing ) Starbucks SUCKS!
Printable coupons for Starbucks coffee.

Subway Coupons ( Ongoing ) Anti Glutton! AVOID!
Printable Coupons for Subway restaurants, includes sandwiches and subs.

Taco Bell ( November-25 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Taco Bell restaurants, free frutista freeze.

Taco Johns ( November-28 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Taco John's restaurants, free potato ole.

TCBY ( Must Sign Up ) AVOID MOSTLY LOW FAT!
Printable coupons for TCBY yogurt ice cream.

TGI Friday's ( November-7 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for TGI Friday's restaurants, BOGO salad or sandwich.

The Cheesecake Factory ( Must Sign Up ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite and Award WINNER!)
Printable coupons for The Cheesecake Factory.

Waffle House ( November-7 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for Waffle House restaurants, free small slice of pie.

Wendys ( December-31 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
6 printable coupons for Wendy's restaurants.

White Castle Coupons ( November-30 ) (A Bigger Fatter Blog Favorite)
Printable coupons for White Castle restaurants in your area.

Wienerschnitzel ( November-27 )
Printable coupons for Wienerschnitzel fast food restaurants, free drink.


The website 1fastfoodcoupon.com is dedicated to bringing the best of coupons available. By having KFC coupons, McDonalds coupons, and all sorts of other printable coupons, this website manages to provide some of the best service when it comes to collecting coupons. Whenever people are considering fast food, they should stop by here first. After all, fast food is delicious, but it’s easier to feel less guilt about its dangerous deliciousness when that is coupled with the great savings that can come from online coupons or other printable coupons.
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How do coupons websites work? Well, they don’t automatically link back to every restaurant, necessarily. Sometimes they will connect to the specials page for the restaurant, which allows you to go directly to the offers that Taco Bell or Burger King or McDonalds are putting out on their own. When a coupons website like 1fastfoodcoupon.com does something like that, it is because they believe in convenience. Because coupons websites often have other offers that they can benefit you with doesn’t mean that they overlook the little things. By having access to all the restaurant-sponsored discounts websites, a coupons site makes everything conveniently clickable.

But as noted, coupons websites don’t just link directly to specials pages on restaurant websites. They also make it their business to stay up to date on the best of the coupons available. Sometimes this means that a dud coupon or two will slip through the cracks. But 1fastfoodcoupon.com, for example, does the best it can to weed out the deadwood. Coupons for fast food are their specialty, so they try to stay abreast of the best. Rather than wandering off into the weeds as you search down coupons on your own, then, perhaps the best thing to do is to stick with our coupons website and realize that we don’t create the coupons; we find them and bring them to you. Or you to them.

So coupons websites like 1fastfoodcoupon.com really do show that so much is going online these days. Marketing tools, like coupons, are one such instance where things have gone online. And with websites like this one, it’s clear that it’s a strong trend because of its convenience and efficiency. The correctness of the coupons is almost always a success—and if it didn’t work this time, it can work next time. So you can get your discounts online while you do everything else you do online, and then you can go out and use what you’ve found. 
 
Gallery of successful gainers 
 
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Pretty in pink! 
 
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Cruisin for burgers! 
 
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Fries build thighs! She may be a mere pup now but a steady diet of greasy fries will plump those thighs! 

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Open wide sweet fat girl! Burgers build bellies!
 
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See what I mean?!

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Wannabe gainer dreaming of becoming a prized pear!
 
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Burgers build BIG bellies! 
 
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Hey baby, would you like a burger with that shake!

Fast Food Coupon is a real winner!  Click here!

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10 comments:

  1. BELLY BOYMay 16, 2013 at 12:35 PM

    OINK OINK OINK!!
    OINK OINK!!
    OINK!
    OINK OINK!!
    OINK OINK OINK!!

    BELLY BOY HERE!! Hey guys, what's up?

    I'm here with some ProTips on economical weight gaining. Fat Bastard makes some excellent points, reminding us that while a stick of salted butter does contain over 800 calories, eating one is just not very appetizing. Believe me, I've done it! Ditto with drinking a pool of microwaved butter.

    Instead, I've come up with some handy everyday tips to add some extra calories to your life.

    1) Make popcorn. Then, after you microwave it, melt a stick of butter and pour it on top.
    2) At Italian restaurants, order anything with Alfredo Sauce. This is an expert fatling tip. Loaded with fat from cheese and heavy cream, this delectable sauce makes any pasta dish into a true winner. When the busyboy comes around with the grated romano cheese, ask him to leave it at the table and then apply it liberally to your pasta. Pepper is optional, it doesn't add calories but does add flavor, so I usually go for it.
    3) Alcohol. Booze is loaded with calories, and your body doesn't consider liquids that much when gauging fullness, so be sure to booze it up as much as possible, (except when you're going to be driving.) Problem is, it can be expensive! That's why you should buy alcohol in large containers at the duty-free shop when you go to an airport. Don't just get your carton of Marlboros, remember the 4 liter of Jack Daniels.
    4) Macaroni and Cheese is cheap, yet great.
    5) Pizza is another great option. In NYC, there are places that sell it for just $1 a slice! OINK OINK OINK!! HELL YES!! Skip the toppings, as they add a lot of cost for very few calories and little added flavor. This makes the dollar menu at McDonald's look like not as good a deal.
    6) Fried eggs. Eggs are extremely cheap, so grease up your pan with some oil, and then make yourself a lot of fried eggs. You can't really go wrong here, but make sure to eat the yolk as this is where most of the calories and all of the cholesterol and flavor reside.
    7) Hot dogs are somewhat low-ish in calories - unless you make them the way I do! Wrap them in bacon and cook them in the oven, then put them in lightly toasted buns and drizzle melted American cheese on top. This is called the Belly Jr. Dog.
    8) Philly Cheesesteaks are somewhat pricy at times, but you can get big ones for cheap if you know the right places in Philly. Always opt for onions and melted American cheese. Don't ask for swiss, like one politician did, which cost him the 2004 election. It's simply not done.
    9) Giant soft pretzels are great for a glutton on the go.
    10) Nachos are usually not that expensive at a Mexican restaurant, and if you order two orders you can make that your meal.

    Too fat for one post, to be continued...

    ReplyDelete
  2. BELLY BOYMay 16, 2013 at 12:38 PM

    11) Ice cream is critical here, as it enables you to maximize your flavor while eating pure fat and sugar. Drown it in Hershey's Dark Chocolate Syrup for extreme flavor enhancement that will send you to the moon.
    12) Make yourself a Garage Burger. Start with 30% fat ground beef, and mix some avocado into it. Next, apply some lard (or vegetable shortening, for you vegans out there- oh wait, this is a beef burger, but whatever) to the pan and grease it up. Press firmly on the middle of the patty to make an indentation - do not put it on the stove yet. Next, take two slices of deli style American cheese (not pre-packaged singles, which are garbage), and break them into small squares, which you then put into the indentation. Put an identical patty on top of it. Cook your burger on it, while also cooking sliced onions so that they caramelize just right. Be sure to flip it to cook both sides, but don't press down on it with your spatula. Put the caramelized onions on top, and also add in some pickles, and ketchup or catsup. This is called the Garage Burger because it's so simple that you can make it in your garage, and also the cheese is in a garage of meat. The avocado adds excellent flavor as well as fat.
    12) Bologna sandwiches are an excellent source of nitrates, as well as calories. Add in some cheese and mayo, two bags of chips, a cookie, and a soda and you've got yourself lunch! This should only cost a few bucks as long as you don't buy it pre-made.
    13) Buy your soda at CostCo. In fact, buy everything there, as it saves you money. Buying in bulk encourages eating in bulk, and that's the name of the game when it comes to weight gain.
    14) Big Gulps are your friend. Buy one every day before work or before your video game session (for those on Fat-Related Disability).
    15) Pasta. An entire 1 lb box usually costs around 99 cents, and packs in over 800 calories! If you learn how to make your own Alfredo Sauce, you can gain tons of weight from this alone. However, if it seems too complicated, don't worry, Belly Boy's got your back! Just go with melted butter and grated Romano cheese. After you strain the pasta and put it back into the pot, put a stick of butter in there and the heat will melt it for you. Next, grate in some Romano cheese, and keep stirring. The butter helps coat every surface of the pasta, which then helps more cheese stick on.

    STILL too fat, even for two posts! To be continued...

    ReplyDelete
  3. BELLY BOYMay 16, 2013 at 12:47 PM


    16) Always take a nap after your major meals, if possible. This helps your body absorb the calories better and store them as fat.
    17) Never drink water. That's why we invented Gatorade, so that we wouldn't have to drink flavorless water anymore. It has the same calories as soda, but people around you won't get mad at you for drinking it, and it won't give you a caffeine buzz that would cut into precious nap time.
    18) Date or marry a chef. They bring home the baon. Literally.
    19) Don't have any kids. Sure you can teach them to cook for you, but it ends up being a waste of money in the long run, plus eventually they will grow to resent you.
    20) Vegas Buffets. When you go to Vegas, go to a casino and immediately register for a gambling card. Next, waddle on down to the penny slots. Video blackjack with a "cheat card" (which they sell for like $2 in the gift shop, and it tells you when to hit, stand, etc) is a more expensive option, so look for penny or nickel slots. Every 20 - 30 minutes someone will come by and give you a free drink! After a few hours, go to the pit manager and ask him if you can be comped for a buffet meal. Then, load up! Some casinos offer things like $5 20 oz steaks with a baked potato and butter, and vegetables (ask for extra butter), just to drive up foot traffic. See if they will comp you. It's a little known fact that with video poker on the correct machines (different ones have different payouts), and perfect play, and factoring in the comped meals, you can actually end up earning about $9 or so an hour, but you must live in Vegas and remember to eat every meal at the buffet in order to eat for free, have free entertainment, and make a small profit. It's your birthright!
    21) Two words: Free Samples. At Costco, you can get free samples of food so that you can eat while you shop. Usually they just give a tiny bit in each, so be sure to ask "can I take one for my wife (or husband) and my son?" That way you get three. Then go on to the next one. By the time you're finished with 8 or so free samples, just go back to the first one and take only one, without saying anything. Repeat.
    22) Speaking of Costco Free Samples, if you're willing to pay a bit extra, you can get very cheap eats there, such as a large pepperoni pizza for I think under $10.
    23) Don't be suckered in by the 25 cent sodas for sale in the machine. This is a fool's choice. Instead, opt for a fountain drink, as these sodas come with FREE REFILLS! Guzzle down as much soda as you can, during and after your meal, and then fill it up again for the ride home.
    24) Brownies are excellent, and you can get some brownie mix to make it even easier to make 'em. It ends up being really cheap, yet caloric, yet deeply satisfying.
    25) Italian Bread. You can buy a whole giant loaf for like $1.20. Just make garlic bread from it, and you've got yourself a nice and fattening side dish. Mama mia!

    Please enjoy these 25 Belly Boy tips and be sure to leave us a comment about your favorite.

    Fat Bastard, if you would be so kind as to consider making this it's own separate article, that would be grand. Ideally, if you could annotate it with your own pictures from Google Image search, that would make for a very educational Belly Boy Lecture.

    BELLY BOY

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fat BastardoMay 16, 2013 at 4:41 PM

    OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK!

    After reading this I drooled.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fat BastardoMay 16, 2013 at 4:57 PM

    OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK!

    Stellar advice Belly Boy!


    I defer to the master. Belly Boy this is the most comprehensive gaining guide I have ever seen. I will mention that Mexican food can also be quite obesogenic.

    I love your tips about casino buffets. Eat for a few hours then waddle over to the slots to work up a an appetite and then back to the buffet..... rinse and repeat.... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!

    We knew your were a genius but this makes you Belly Boy the Albert Einstein of feeder/gainers.

    OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK!


    ReplyDelete
  6. BELLY BOYMay 17, 2013 at 6:55 PM

    OINK OINK!

    Right back at you, Fat Bastard! I am so glad that you enjoyed my gaining guide. I would write a book on the topic, except I don't think publishers would go for it and I'm not sure if gainers and maintainers would buy enough copies.

    My casino buffet idea is one of the best ideas I've had. You get unlimited buffet food (which in major Vegas casinos is very good food), comped hotel rooms, and also free tickets to go see shows, like the best magician, Penn Jillette. (However, you have to gamble enough to qualify. But free meals are the lowest and easiest to qualify for since they are very cheap for the casino to supply and it encourages you to stay in the casino longer rather than leave to eat elsewhere.) Penn is also fat, so that's another reason for us fatlings to enjoy his show. The biggest gamblers (called "whales", I'm not kidding!) also get free plane tickets to Vegas, sometimes even First Class. But even a free meal makes me feel like a king, except that it's self-serve.

    Plus, like I said, the right Video Poker games actually have a positive payout ratio if you play perfectly, although you will need those royal flushes in order to come out ahead, so the money is still unpredictable.

    I am actually heading out to Las Vegas next month, now that I am able to walk a bit better. I am seriously looking forward to playing lots of video poker, eating buffet food, etc. OINK OINK OINK!!

    BELLY BOY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fat BastardoMay 17, 2013 at 9:35 PM

      OINK!

      You aren't the only person who told me that when it comes to gluttony and gambling and gluttony Vegas is the best. I have been to Atlantic City and some Indian casinos and the food is damn good their but it's not always free and the Indian casinos don't serve free booze.

      I hear that the slots are much looser in Vegas and that the slot on he end of the rows are the loosest.

      Penn Gillette is the best. He and Teller are a whole lote better than that pretty boy Criss Angel.

      I hope you win big at Vegas and if they had their shit together they would comp you by the pound and actually pay you to gamble.

      I also picture you shooting craps and taking a few craps while you are playing.

      Boom Shakalaka roll them bones
      Boom Shakalaka got the gamblin jones
      Boom Shakalaka find a Vegas hooker
      Boom Shakalaka play a round of poker

      Boom Shakalaka high rollin shooter
      Boom Shakalaka from a fatty scooter
      Boom Shakalaka poundin shots
      Boom Shakalaka play them slots

      Belly Boy, Teddy Bear and Fat Bastard have finally replaced the rat pack and are now the fat pack.

      Delete
    2. BELLY BOYMay 25, 2013 at 8:06 PM

      OINK OINK OINK.

      I reiterate and repeat what I said previously.

      However, I love the name The Fat Pack. OINK OIIIIIIIIIIIIINK!

      Penn is amazing, and shows what can happen when a SSBHM teams up with a thinling. They're smart because they let the big guy do all the talking. Big men are better at talking, for the most part.

      Normally I try not to defecate while I'm gambling, because my dumps are very large and smell horrific. I do like to be clean, so I will use some laxatives after my 5th or 6th buffet run, and then shit up the public men's room. I love dominating a bathroom with my powerful dumps. I take a picture of each one and have them printed out into a "sCRAP book" (get it?) For medicinal purposes only. It's for my doctor in case he asks to see it.

      My GF has a severe gambling addiction, and it was her idea to go to Vegas. It should be a lot of fun, because she has really been looking forward to this and it's all she's talking about! I leave tomorrow morning.

      BELLY BOY

      Delete
  7. Fat BastardoMay 26, 2013 at 5:21 PM

    It's a known fact that fat men are the best lingusts. I have been called a cunning linguist.

    ReplyDelete
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