Sunday, May 19, 2013

Attacked By A Jealous Fat Girl

The following is Jenna Talia's first article on Bigger Fatter Politics. This may be disturbing to some readers as Jenna is recounting a vicious and unprovoked attack by a pod of angry land whales. Keep watchng the comments section for comments from both me, Fat Bastard and Jenna.

Click here to see an example of Jenna Talia's interviewing skills. It turns out that Jenna is a wine expert and originally she mistook me Fat Bastard for the owner of Fat Bastard wines.

Jenna Talia
Attacked By A Jealous Fat Girl by Jenna Talia

My first deadly encounter with an enraged fat girl happened one summer as a junior in high school. A friend and I stopped at an ice cream shop for some gellato. Instead of sitting at the round umbrella covered picnic tables and eating ice cream my friend Priscilla and I decided instead to stand to enjoy our frozen confections. While we were eating our tasty treats some friends of Priscilla's pulled into the parking lot and she walked over to talk to them. It was then when the first insult was hurled at me. It came from a table of angry fat girls who were students from a nearby college. They were purposely talking loud enough for me to hear them. They were referring to me as, that skinny slut, bone, anorexic skank and size 0 stick girl. When I looked up at them for ringleader shouted at me, "what are you staring at skank?" I ignored her. Then she said, " I'm talking to you skank" I continued to ignore her. Then she said, "Real women have curves stick girl." while another one said, "Only a dog wants a bone". I responded, "yeah whatever." Even though I was dressed much more modestly than they were one of them accused me of dressing like a slut. At this point people were beginning to watch. Priscilla noticed and asked what was going on. I told her I didn't know and I suggested that we just leave. As we were getting ready to leave when suddenly the biggest and meanest fat girl got up from her seat to further confront me. I turned and walked away when she grabbed the back of my hair and yanked me to the pavement. Priscilla tried to pull her off me put this enraged land whale appear to have superhuman strength. Luckily for us a police car happened to be coming by. The officer was able to stop the attack and that's when things really got interesting.
Too fat to handcuff behind the back!

Within minutes another police car pulled up with its lights flashing and siren blaring and another officer got out. Then a Sheriff's car pulled up with two deputies. They were getting witness accounts of the altercation and attack. Her friends lied to the police and told her I had started the fight while other witnesses told the truth. The officer who was interviewing me told me that he believed me and let me know that he was letting the big nasty fat girl and her big nasty fat friends dig themselves in deeper with their lies. The officer knew that there was a surveillance camera that would've captured the entire incident. They got the fat girl and her friends to sign sworn statements. They then got the store manager to show them the surveillance video. Once the officers and the Sheriff's deputies saw the video all of the angry fat girls were placed in handcuffs, arrested and charged with various crimes.

Fat guys are really nice guys. The fat manager who showed the police the video of the attack was a big teddy bear of a man. He brought out a first aid kit and some ice for my cuts and bruises. In the meantime, the police had called the fire rescue ambulance. As a precautionary measure paramedics placed me in a neck collar and placed me on a stretcher and then I was placed into the ambulance. They said that I had a mild concussion and some soft tissue trauma to my neck. The manager was quite upset by what had happened. He gave Priscilla his business card along with a stack of coupons for free products as a gesture of goodwill.

The police called my parents and informed them that I was being taken to a local hospital for injuries sustained in an assault. They and my mom and dad met the ambulance at the emergency room. They had asked the police what happened and the police informed them that I've been attacked by a jealous and angry fat girl simply because I looked better than she did. The officer went on to inform them that these sort of attacks are not all that uncommon these days. He assured them that I would be okay but for liability reasons and for my own safety I had to be looked at by an emergency room physician. While there in the E.R. my injuries or photographed in the police obtained a medical report to aid them in leveling charges and prosecuting this case.

Unfortunately, the angry fat girl could not be charged with a hate crime even though this was clearly a hate crime. She and her friends all plead guilty to various charges. She was sentenced to six months in jail and her perjurious cohorts were each fined one thousand dollars for knowingly making false statements to the police.

In a civil case, I won $78,000 judgment against my attacker for actual damages, pain and suffering and punitive damages. We are still trying to collect on the judgment as the beast who attacked me is a big stinky fat welfare momma. 

Since this incident, my family and I have developed a close friendship with Jerry the ice cream store manager who was so kind, compassionate and helpful. He truly was my knight in shining armor along with the law enforcement officers many of whom were fat but very wise. I'm still at a loss as to why fat guys are so nice since they are usually the butt of jokes and fat girls who are a protected species are so mean. I guess some things will remain a mystery.

As horrific as this incident was it is given me a greater appreciation of fat guys and an increasing disdain for fat girls. Fat men are far less likely to cause trouble than any other group of people. It was Jerry a fat man who first rushed to my aid and defense. After reading Fat Bastardo's articles I have come to believe that the humility, nobility and a sense of honor are traits quite common to fat men and all men but pride, jealousy, avarice and rage are the traits that make fat girls so darn mean. 

Comment: By Fat Bastardo:

Fat girls love to eat, fuck and fight and not necessarily in that order. Fat girls are particularly dangerous when there are food and skinny men around. It makes them more dangerous. Always exercise extreme caution in these situations.

Image result for Angry jealous fat girl

Why are fat guys so nice? I think it is because we are honest and we are fine in our own skin despite the cruel taunts we sometimes get. There are other reasons. First off we are male and therefore we are held to higher standards of conduct. We are not mommy's little prince the way girls are daddy's little princess. It is not OK for us to hit girls but it is OK for girls to hit us especially if we are fat.

Fat girls often have excessive estrogen and testosterone due to their tremendous bulk whereas fat men have slightly less testosterone and slightly more estrogen that the average lean guy because fat holds estrogen and our sloth decreases the production of testosterone.

Fat Bastardo's Update: 

The sow who attacked Jenna got early release but a few months later Child Protective Services took her kids away. It turns out that this violent pig was also a child abuser.

Image result for Fat Girls Fighting
Fat Girls: Jealous - Aggressive - Violent 

Related image
Fat Girls Fighting Over FOOD!

I hope these cops get tested for diseases after handling this wild Snorlax!


  1. Hey Hey Hey Jenna Talia it looks like you popped you cherry here at BFP. Those fat beasties really hate skinny girls. They are fuled by pure hateful jealousy and they take it out on everyone.

    I'm sorry that that big angry heffer went all pound cake on you.

  2. Maybe I should have given her some pound cake with whipped cream.

    1. Dear Jenna,
      Thank you so very much for this article!!!! I have been the victim of jealous fat girls all my life and when I tell other people about these passive aggressive or aggressive attacks, they think I am lying! Of course they feel sorry for the land whale (protected species) who is expert at playing the victim. The last job I had the land whale made it a point to make my life miserable and had her friend, my boss, fire me! Discrimination against normal sized, attractive women should definitely be a hate crime. I am serious!

    2. Hi Gia,

      Jealous angry fat girls have been brutal to hot skinny chicks such are yourself for quite sometime. Lovely women like you are in the minority these days and you are indeed the victim of discrimination.

      Like you Jenna has been traumatized by the cruel taunts and even physical attack by pods of angry and jealous land whales. Land whales and pork beasts can be very dangerous.

      Work place discrimination against skinny women is tolerated by this female food centric society. They see attractive women as competition. Let's face it men of all sizes like skinny chicks and it is not only because skinny chicks look better it's because they act better. Fat girls throwing fattitude can be awful.

      Here's the thing Gia, fat girls are the overwhelming majority and they control what goes into the "public know".

      Here's is what fat girls and men know but what skinny girls man not know:

      1, Fat girls make bad mothers.

      2. Fat guys are unable to pork fat girls.

      3. Fat girls are more likely to get knocked up

      4. Fat girls are more likely to have an STD.

      5. Fat girls are more likely to have kids with birth defects and autism.

      Men want good wives and mothers and fat girls simply do not measure up.

      My advice to you and I am sure Jenna would agree is to hold your head up and consider the source of their cruel put down. You are better than them in every single way and every single day.


    BELLY BOY HERE. Welcome to Bigger Fatter Politics!

    It is well known that 99.99999999% of obese and morbidly obese women feel very jealous of thin women. And then to see one eating, and not being fat? It made her feel bad about herself, and she turned that into rage. I am an expert on morbidly obese thought patterns, having weighed over 900 lbs at one time. I now weigh over *CLASSIFIED* lbs, and can walk much better than before although my knees still hurt enormously. But I know how us fat people think and I can tell you that that is what was going through her mind.


    1. Fat guys are like the honey badger. We don't give a fuck how fat we get. I am a bit envious of skinny guys sometimes but then they come bitching to me with all the problems they have with women and I think how lucky I am to be fat, gluttonous and have food and porn.

      Fat girl simply refuse to embrace the fat and gluttony and they take it out on skinny girls. That sucks.

  4. Hi there Belly Boy!

    1. Hi Jenna!

      I waddle and lurch
      I eat and go to church
      Learned about the Holy Grail
      Now it's time to hit that Church Bake Sale!

      Yea, hit me up wit' dem lemon squares, a fistfull of choco-cookies and then a plate of brownies! A glass of milk, cuz you know dis boy gets thirsty! And then a pint of ice cream and I'm eatin' like it's Thursday!

      Ungh. That food.
      That Belly food.
      Ungh. That chew.
      That Belly chew.

      Yeaaaah, hit me up wit another pint! Gonna eat up all that choclate, with all of my might!

      I love the after-church bake sale. It's mostly old ladies who are really good cooks, and they give me some free food every week since I always compliment them so much on their cooking skills. And they feel sorry for me.

      I'm even bringing my Asian girlfriend to church nowadays. Gettin' my religion on, and then gettin' my FOOD ON!


    2. OINK! I just published and article about pot smoking and decreased obesity and it said that religious folks are much fatter than pot heads... Who'd a thunk it?

      Boom Shakalaka let's praise Jesus
      Boom Shakalaka 10 different cheeses
      Boom Shakalaka church bake sale
      Boom Shakalaka brownies not stale

      I got a tell you belly boy, those big fat church ladies really know how to bake up a storm. This reminds me of the Frank Zappa song St. Alfonzo's pancake breakfast.

      At St. alphonzo's pancake breakfast
      Where I stole the margarine
      And wheedled on the bingo cards
      In lieu of the latrine

      I saw a handsome parish lady
      Make her entrance like a queen
      While she was totally in chenille
      And her old man was a marine

      As she abused the sausage pattie
      And said, "why don't you treat me mean?"
      At St. Alphonzo's pancake breakfast
      Where I stole the margarine

    3. I get hot watching fat guys eat.

    4. I like when women watch me eat, especially when she uses a napkin on my Belly Boy Beard to clean the grease and crumbs out.


  5. Jenna wipes my chinny chin chin too.

    1. She should move in with you.

    2. That would be nice but I'm looking for a woman with low standards and Jenna has high stadards.

    3. Boom Shakka Lakka,
      Boom Shakka Lakka,
      Boom Shakka Lakka,
      Move in with Jenna
      Boom Shakka Lakka,
      She'll make you sing like a tenor
      Boom Shakka Lakka,
      She's a FFA
      Move in with her today!

      I do see your point about women with low standards having some serious advantages. First, they don't care how fat you get or about money. They just need someone to provide emotional support and occasionally say insensitive things like "Yo, why don't you wear no tube tops no more?" And then if she wears them a lot you go "Yo, why you wear tube tops all the time? I bet not catch yo' ass cheating on me!"

      A woman with high standards will expect you to have a good job, be reasonably fit, not be fat, be emotionally available, munch carpet, take her places, buy her things, etc. NO THANKS!! I ain't no skinny boy, I'm a BELLY BOY and FOOD IS MY JOY.

      We need to start figuring out a way to ensure that more skinny women have low standards, otherwise they will continue to breed with skinny guys and potentially breed a master weight class of thinlings that will potentially enslave the fat class. Us fat folks make awful slaves, but we are highly vulnerable because we are so dependent on food and porn, both regular, extra-skinny, and yes even SSBBW porn. I think that SSBBW porn should mainly be for thin men, and skinny women porn should be reserved for us fat men. This will encourage skinny men to bulk up, and fat women to slim down.

      We do need some thinlings for the military, sports, etc, but they need to be placed under fat leadership. In other words, we need SSBHMs and SSBBWs in our elected government positions in order to keep the thinlings in check. As we continue to grow both in size and in numbers, the National Association for the Advancement of Eating Amazing Things (NAAEAT) will become a potent political force, with me as the head. We will advocate for all new Supreme Court Justices to be morbidly obese, and encourage existing ones to bulk up by adding more and better food to the Supreme Court Cafeteria.

      We will promote a new caste system, defined not by race as in the 18th, 19th, and much of the 20th century, nor by wealth as during the 20th and first part of the 21st century. Instead, we will be based upon Body Mass Index. The fatter you are, the better. However, my plan also leaves open the chance for athletic women who are technically obese but actually aren't fat. These women will make excellent lovers for our fat male population, buoyed by doctor-prescribed steroids. This will increase their libidos, allowing each to service multiple fat men.

      We will also allow and encourage non-steroid, non-obese women; however they will not be allowed in any leadership positions. These are for fat men and fat women only. Also steroid women because technically they are considered fat under my regime, but only on a technicality.

      Jenna will be able to have her pick of morbidly obese men to choose from. We will also ask her for advice on how to encourage more non-fat women to lust after obese men.


  6. Skinny women have high standards for themselves but low standards for others. Skinny women lack fattitude that that makes them very insecure and not very demanding of others. I find that seXXXy.

    Those pro ana chicks are very low self-esteem. That is why they are always dieting.

    It all comes down with a proper balance of fattitude. You and I for instance can handle our fattitude with grace and style but a lot of fat girls throw way too much fattitude. As you know, fattitude is a very powerful force and in the wrong hands it can be a force for evil.

    Women in general cannot handle the fat and they will not embrace the fat and gluttony. This goes back to my theory that we need more fat men and less fat women.

    If you want to keep a skinny woman under your thumb simply tell her she's fat. I once saw an anorexic woman and Walmart. I mean, this bitch looked like a skeleton. I met her in the laxative aisle. I was getting some Miralax to prevent another fecal impaction and she was buying Exlax so that she would shit out the stalk of celery she ate for her only meal of the day. I like women with a BMI of 18-20 butt when they get all bony they look like death. I looked her right in the eye and shouted EAT! She turned into a shrinking violet.

    I like you idea of a caste system. I have some ideas for class.

    The Bronto class
    The Mastadon class
    The Hindenberg Class
    The Whale Class
    The Walrus Class
    The Hippo class

    The we would have the servant classes

    1. I am glad to hear that just as The Chef ain't got no wood for them SSBBWs, you ain't got no wood for them MSTTWs (Micro Sized Tiny Titted Women). Personally I think that anorexia is dangerous, and that only Asian women should dip below 18 BMI, and even they should only go to 16.75 BMI minimum. 20 is still OK.

      As for men of Girth like you and me, with BMIs at or near the triple digits, we are able to contain the fattitude. It is a constant battle raging within each of us. Some thin women do gain 100+ lbs during pregnancy, and never end up losing it. This has caused many men to be like "WTF, I thought I married a thin chick and now I've got a Fattie BoomBatty, Fatty-Fatty-Two-By-Four-Can't-Fit-Through-The-Kitchen-Door". It's a growing problem.

      The late James from the YouTube channel JamesCryForHelp was truly an epicly obese man. He makes the Chef look like a mere pup. Probably weighed about 800 or so pounds and could not walk, and he died as he was losing weight on some long term crash diet. His heart gave out and he couldn't handle all the fasting and water dieting.

      If we are to form a caste system, let it be mobile. Let it allow people to move up and down the ranks based on their actions. I'm going to propose some new rights for Americans.

      1) Freedom of Refills. Because one good soda deserves another.
      2) Gum Rights. Sugared gum, being necessary for the freedom of people, the right of the people to bear sugared gum shall not be infringed.
      3) Freedom of Freedom Fries. It shall be illegal to call them French Fries. They shall be called Freedom Fries or America Fries, or Justice Sticks.
      4) Condiment Upgrading Freedom. We need to start doing what the Belgians do and put mayo on our Freedom Fries.
      5) Freedom of Anabolic Steroids. They need to be freely available to all thinling women who wish to enter the Obese Ranks without actually being fat. This will enhance their libido to the point where they will have no choice but to succumb to the charms of fat men, chins dripping with fry grease and bacon grease. Of course, most will be sterile, and so we will have to rely on fat women to incubate the children using artificial insemination as they are too big to have sex with. Their extreme obesity will allow for the fetuses to be very well nourished, but it will also activate their obesity genes more. It has been scientifically proven that when the mother is obese during pregnancy that affects the genes of the child, activating the ones that make him or her predisposed towards obesity.


    2. P.S. Fat Bastard, you did the right thing in the laxative aisle. That stickling should have been loading up on some Hire Katsu, which is Japanese fried pork cutlets. They are delicious. You get a bowl of rice and a bowl of miso soup, and a mound of shredded cabbage - which WAIT WAIT WAIT trust me it's still good even though it's cabbage. Of course they only sell that at restaurants and you can't make it yourself unless you have an Asian GF to make it for you.

    3. Those sumos really know how to pack on the pounds.

      Asian women are by far and away the best. Not only are they better looking and better behaved than Black and White women they adore fat men. You are a lucky fatling Belly Boy to have an Asian woman.

    4. OINK OINK!!

      I sure am lucky. It is a well-known fact that our large, feminine bodies drive Asian women wild! In Japan, the idealized man is not the large muscle-bounded testosterone freak like Arnold or Rambo. Instead, it is the feminine type of man who is idealized- that's why in most Japanese video games the hero is a young man who is slender and not very masculine. They want the games to sell well in the US as well, which is why they don't make them obese feminine heroes.

      One excellent Japanese video game is The Little Ninja Brothers, wherein the heroes become morbidly obese after just one large feast and then you have to press the A and B buttons rapidly to lose the weight so that you can fit down the stairs.

      Another popular and excellent video game series that is much more modern is the Fat Princess series. It involves an SSBBW princess, and two teams try to carry her back to their castle first. To make it harder for the other team, you can feed her cake, which causes her to gain weight and therefore it takes longer to move her, giving you more time to steal her away. It's an excellent strategy game, that prepares you for the rigors of marrying a non-Asian woman (which is generally not advised.)

      BELLY BOY, back on his feed, playing video games!

  7. OINK!

    I am one of the few fat guys who does not play video games. Perhaps the most impressive fat guy when it comes to video is the immortal Big Fat RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRReverend Burn.

    Here's the deal with Asian women. They are them most feminine compared to the other races. They see lean men as hyper masculine and they see us fat boys as a prefect balance for them... ie the Ying and the Yang = Asian Poontang!

    Since Asains are smart all hell and since brains are mostly fat, we fat boys breeding with Asian women will produce a super race. Oh yes, we fattys are evolving into a race and evetually a new species. 太った男 or hombre gordo or mayo de Maná or mayo on all the bread inside and out.

  8. ballena Tierra is the scientific term for land whale and Pork allí is the term for pork beast or pig beast. I mention this because we fatties are on a path to split into two species form the common ancestor homo sapien. Will the land whales which will be much bigger and smarter displace the pork beasts but will the more agressive pork beast hunt and kill off the land whales?

  9. Fat girls are very violent.

  10. Fat girls are most dangerous when they are hungry.

  11. Fat girls can be brutal and dangerous but they tucker out easy. Jenna should have let them chase her around until the got tired kinda like the old rope a dope and then she should have laid the boot to them.

    1. When a fat girl is hungry and if a skinny girl turns her man's head they are at their most dangerous.

      One of Proud FA's sows stabbed a skinny waitress with a fork because she thought Proud was flirting with her. I think the poor waitress required a rabies shot.

  12. Poor Jenna! Tell me which state in which you're attacked, please. I'll be sure to avoid it when I visit the States again!

    1. Avoid all the Red States/Bible Belt because that is where all the eat beasts live...

    2. Avoid all the Red States/Bible Belt because that is where all the eat beasts live...

  13. Fat girls can be brutal and mean as hell!

    1. They are meaner than cat piss. Fat girls are hormonal, histrionic, and ornery. AVOID THEM!


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