Fat Singers are the BEST Singers
Ann Wilson is more that twice as big as her hot thinling sister Nancy and she sings twice as good. Can you think of another female rocker better that Ann Wilson? Of course you can't!
You can have your Dixie Chicks, Lorretta Lynn, Shania Twain ect.. ect.. ect.. but when in comes to country music no one come close to Wynona Judd. With a name like Wynona she has to be fat.
Gorgeous girl glutton Wynona flashing the sign of the fork.
So impressed with Wynona, Primus bass play Les Claypool penned the following lyric.
Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver
And she shows it off to all her friends.
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her,
So she caged him up with cyclone fence.
Along came Lou with the old baboon
And said Recognize that smell?
Smells like seven layers,
That beaver eats Taco Bell.
Now Rex he was a Texan out of New Orleans
And he traveled with the carnival shows.
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
And he candied up his nose.
He got wind of the big brown beaver
So he though he'd take himself a peek,
But the beaver was quick and he grabbed him by the kiwis
Now he ain't pissed for a week.
(And a half!)
Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
And she stuck him up in the air.
Said I sure do love this big brown beaver
And I wish I did have a pair.
Now the beaver once slept for seven days
And it gave us all an awful fright.
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
And the bastard tried to bite me.
Wynona loved her big brown beaver
And she stroked him all the time.
She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her
She might have a porcupine
Like butter, Babs beginning her blimp phase but still just a pup.
Babs breaking into full blimp mode.
Beautiful Babs Before Blimping
Bigger is better! Not only is Aretha the Queen of Soul but she is also the queen of soul food and singing better than ever!
Aretha, as pretty as you were then you are even better now!
What tribute to fat girl singers would be complete without mentioning Mama Cass. Not only did Mama Cass have the greatest voice in folk rock she died while eating a sandwich.
Look at that impressive tonal neck blubber!
I can see it now. Her handlers are going to slim her down instead of plumping her up. I fear that is what is in store for Susan Boyle. If Susan Boyle loses the weight she will lose her voice. It's true!
A young undiscovered Susan Boyle. If she had come to the US she would have added the thick tonal blubber that now sets her voice apart from the pack.
Look at her now! Look at the food on her upper lip!! Look at that tone enhancing neck blubber!!!
As always on Bigger Fatter Blog it's ladies first but let's not forget the men.
There may be some debate as to who the greatest opera singer of all time was, Luciano Pavaratti or Enrico Caruso. I gotta go with Pavaratti. As fat as he was more than a few women in Italy and the rest of the world flicked their switches when ever Pavaratti took the stage and unleashed the awesome power of his legendary tenor voice. Even though he was a fat pasta eating lummox he got more ass than most rock stars.
Per i nostri lettori italiani: Pavaratti scopata donne più belle di Mick Jagger. Non era un nano e lui non è andato sul palco e muovere il culo magro come un omosessuale.
Michael Jackson may be the king of pop but the best voice in pop belongs to the meat master general himself, the immortal man of meat, Meatloaf! With all due respect to Michael Jackson, all the crotch grabbing in the world will never match the power of the meat!
Mighty Mighty Meatloaf majestically meting out the musical meat!
Even his name is great! Ruben (sandwich the stud) Studdard wowed even the hyper critical Simon Cowel to win American Idol and defeat that classless sweet boy Clay (my ass is) Aiken. The last pussy Aiken saw was when he slithered out of his mama. Our man Ruben is getting more ass than a toilet seat and speaking of getting ass no two men are responsible for setting the mood for seduction than Barry White and his Love Unlimited Orchestra and the late great Luther Vandross.
The deep soulful tones of Barry's voice along with the romantic musical arrangements of his Love Unlimited Orchestra put millions of ladies in the mood to make sweet love with men like me, Fat Bastard. Rev BLA and our latest contributor and gourmet The Chef.
The only thinling soul singers who can hold a candle to Luther is Smokey Robinson and Wilson Picket and maybe Al Green and maybe Marvin Gaye.
When it comes to singing the blues, the clear winner is BB King. Muddy Waters, Blind Lemon Jefferson, Bobby Blue Bland, Slim Harpo, Robert Cray, and even Robert Johnson are all a close second to BB King. BB,big blubber puts him over the top.
Hunka hunka burning love! The king of rock rocked! There is no arguing that the skinny Elvis was great but he would have been a mere flash in the pan and overshadowed by Jerry Lee Lewis, Chubby Checker and Fats Domino had Elvis Aaron Presley remained a thinling. The fatter the King got, the more women swooned.
Elvis died on the toilet from an fecal impacted bowel. His drug use and power eating caused the King to die in a manner worthy of a fatling. He will be remembered as much for his majestic fatling death and for his bigger than life life.
There is no telling how big the King could have and would have become if he had a hot thinling nurse around to give him an enema to release that hunka hunka steaming poop.
|You ain't nothin but a pig/dog chowin all the time!|
The best Elvis impersonators portray an Elvis as if he were alive today..... OR is this really the King pretending to be an Elvis impersonator? Hmm....???
You probably don't even recognize this runt. This is the once great John Popper of the legendary Blues Traveler. When John Popper and Blues Traveler were topping the charts with smash hits like Run Around and the Heart Brings You Back John was a big fat sweating lummox but since his weight loss John and the band are no longer selling out arenas. His singing is not as good and neither is his harmonica playing. Like most fat boys John developed his educated harmonica playing tongue eating pussy but now that he's skinny he's probably throwing the dick into his groupies and dropping even more weight.
John Popper and Blues Traveler in their heyday
Let's recap. Who's HOT and who's NOT?
Ann Wilson and Heart = Hot enough to warm a Canadian winter!
Meatloaf after his weight loss = NOT!
Aretha Frankin = Still HOT!
Ruben Studdard = HOT pastrami on dark rye!
BB King = No sign of cooling!
Wynona = Sizzling like country ham!
Barry White = The body heat generated by his career IS the real reason the polar ice caps are melting.
Luther Vandross = The Spanish fly of music with a French tickler.
John Popper NOT!
There you have it folks; some of the great fat singers. Please feel free make other suggestions but I think I've covered it pretty well and as always think you for reading Bigger Fatter Blog the leader in fat acceptance. EAT!