Sunday, March 23, 2014

Trolling Mormons

Our undercover reporter Jenna Talia went to a Mormon chatline and talked with 2 Moron Missionaries about her sex addiction and they gave her advice. Jenna is everyman's dream. She is a gorgeous slut.

Jen11:12 AM (local time)
Jen11:13 AM (local time)
I want to meet a guy like Jesus. DO you have any suggestions?
Taylor11:14 AM (local time)
Hello, how are you today?
Jen11:16 AM (local time)
OK and you
Tyson11:16 AM (local time)
Doing well thanks.
Jen11:16 AM (local time)
How does one find a guy like Jesus?
Jen11:17 AM (local time)
Are you guys like Jesus?
Taylor11:17 AM (local time)
I wouldn't say that, we are trying our best to follow Jesus though.
Taylor11:18 AM (local time)
If you don't mind me asking, what are your religious beliefs?
Jen11:18 AM (local time)
I believe in john 3:16
Jen11:19 AM (local time)
I believe God knows all
Jen11:20 AM (local time)
I beleive in the 10 commandments but I am a lustful girl and that is why I want to be with a man like Jesus so I wo't be such a harlot
Jen11:21 AM (local time)
I was molested
Taylor11:21 AM (local time)
I am sorry to hear that.
Jen11:22 AM (local time)
It turned me intoi a very sexualized girl who dresses like a tramp and does naughty things. I need to stop!
Jen11:23 AM (local time)
What kind of girl do you guys like?
Taylor11:25 AM (local time)
How do you think you can stop doing those things?
Jen11:28 AM (local time)
I don't know
Jen11:28 AM (local time)
Any suggestions
Jen11:28 AM (local time)
Guys really like me though.
Taylor11:29 AM (local time)
I bet they like you because you are a great person. Would you consider yourself a very religious person?
Jen11:30 AM (local time)
I think I am religious
Jen11:31 AM (local time)
But I am a nympho maniac I think
Jen11:32 AM (local time)
Jesus was kind to the other Mary.
Taylor11:34 AM (local time)
Jesus is kind to everyone, He loves all of us.
Jen11:35 AM (local time)
He does send bad people to hell though
Jen11:35 AM (local time)
It's a narrow gate to heaven you know
Taylor11:36 AM (local time)
Yes, straight is the way and narrow is the gate leading towards heaven. But lucky for us we know how to get to heaven because we are able to receive help as we read and study the Bible and other scriptures.
Jen11:37 AM (local time)
I do that buy I still can't stop my wicked ways.
Taylor11:38 AM (local time)
Why not? What is holding you back from stopping?
Jen11:38 AM (local time)
I am a sex addict
Jen11:38 AM (local time)
The compulsion is unstoppable
Taylor11:39 AM (local time)
Have you sought help from anyone?
Jen11:39 AM (local time)
I need a man who can handle me. I see a therapist.
Jen11:40 AM (local time)
He says that I just have a high sex drive and not to worry about it.
Jen11:41 AM (local time)
Dr says it's because of my genetics
Jen11:41 AM (local time)
I have XX and a Y chromosome
Jen11:42 AM (local time)
Most girls only have two XX chromosomes
Taylor11:42 AM (local time)
Do you want to change your lifestyle?
Jen11:43 AM (local time)
Yes and no
Jen11:44 AM (local time)
I love sex and I make men very happy and God did make me this way and he did allow me to be molested so maybe he wants me to be a hot chick?
Taylor11:45 AM (local time)
I don't think that God wants that for you. God loves you and wants you to follow His commandments and be happy.
Jen11:46 AM (local time)
I follow most of them.
Taylor11:46 AM (local time)
That is great! Do you feel like following the commandments makes you happy?
Jen11:46 AM (local time)
I follow the commandment for fear of hell fire
Jen11:47 AM (local time)
Why did God created girls like me?
Tyson11:48 AM (local time)
Everyone came to earth to learn and grow and have the opportunity to get to know God.
Tyson11:48 AM (local time)
Often times, life is full of difficult experiences - occasionally by the fault of those around us.
Tyson11:48 AM (local time)
However, as we learn of God, and rely on His teachings; we can find peace amidst adversity.
Jen11:50 AM (local time)
It seems that I have two choices. Feel guilty or enjoy it before he sends me to hell
Jen11:52 AM (local time)
2 Timothy 1:9 says that God predetermined things for people
Jen11:52 AM (local time)
I guess I am just hell a bound harlot
Tyson11:53 AM (local time)
We believe salvation is available for all people. Repentance is possible.
Tyson11:53 AM (local time)
Where are you looking?
Jen11:53 AM (local time)
The Bible says it isn't
Jen11:54 AM (local time)
Ephesians 1:4-5 says that God already decided these things.
Tyson11:55 AM (local time)
Let me take a look, one moment.
Tyson11:55 AM (local time)
These scriptures teach that we have been foreordained, but not predetermined where we will go.
Jen11:55 AM (local time)
I mean God is all knowing and he would not be God if he wasn't.
Tyson11:56 AM (local time)
Foreordination means we will have certain opportunities in this life, if we live righteously.
Tyson11:56 AM (local time)
However, God has not already determined who will go to hell and who will not.
Taylor11:56 AM (local time)
And if you read on in Ephesians 1:7 it talks about how we all can repent as well.
Jen11:56 AM (local time)
Romans 8: 29-30 says he did presdentinate
Tyson11:57 AM (local time)
Again, we are not doomed before this life to heaven or hell.
Jen11:57 AM (local time)
God did give me the XXy chromosmes
Tyson11:57 AM (local time)
Romans 8 does not teach this.
Tyson11:57 AM (local time)
Jen, may I ask you a question?
Jen11:58 AM (local time)
For whom he did forenow, he also did predistinate...
Tyson11:58 AM (local time)
Jen, if I may ask - what do you hope to gain from our chat today?
Jen11:59 AM (local time)
Then there is Romans 9 11-22
Jen11:59 AM (local time)
Insight and another perspective
Jen11:59 AM (local time)
I seek truth
Tyson12:00 PM (local time)
Can you elaborate? Why our faith in particular?
Jen12:00 PM (local time)
There is a blaze of light in every word.
Jen12:01 PM (local time)
Maybe Mormonism is the ultimate truth?
Jen12:02 PM (local time)
Why isn't the KJV enough for God's children?
Jen12:03 PM (local time)
It seems that there are upgrades on the WORD, The NT, then the Koran and now the BOM. Is the BOM the final word like Muslims say the Koran is the final word?
Taylor12:07 PM (local time)
No, we actually believe in continued revelation. Right now we have a prophet and apostles that continue to teach us and help us come closer to Christ.
Jen12:09 PM (local time)
So then there is yet to be a final word?
Jen12:11 PM (local time)
Is that why Blacks are now accepted and who Mormon men only have one wife now?
Jen12:12 PM (local time)
Is cuckoldry allowed in Mormonism?
Taylor12:14 PM (local time)
To answer your questions about Blacks and the Priesthood I have a link that you might find interesting.
Taylor12:15 PM (local time)
Jen12:15 PM (local time)
Jen12:16 PM (local time)
The Aftican American is not pure Black
Jen12:17 PM (local time)
Black guys make my toes curl. I just love em!!
Jen12:19 PM (local time)
I was in a realtionship with a guy who actually wanted me to be with other men.
Jen12:19 PM (local time)
I think polygamy should work both ways for very logical reasons.
Jen12:21 PM (local time)
If every man had more than one wife there would not be enough women to go around
Jen12:21 PM (local time)
I would require many husbands.
Jen12:22 PM (local time)
Could you men share your wives with other men?
Taylor12:23 PM (local time)
We do not practice polygamy anymore.
Jen12:23 PM (local time)
That's a good thing don't you think?
Jen12:24 PM (local time)
Do you think polygamy was a mistake?
Jen12:24 PM (local time)
If it went both ways I would be ALL for it.
Jen12:25 PM (local time)
If it were announced that Polygamy was back would you rather share a wife or have multple wives?
Jen12:27 PM (local time)
You guys were very helpful and I thank you for your kindness.
Taylor12:28 PM (local time)
Thank you for talking with us.
Taylor12:28 PM (local time)
Best of luck with everything!
Tyson12:28 PM (local time)
Jen12:28 PM (local time)
I feel better now
Taylor12:28 PM (local time)
That is great. Have a good day :)
Jen12:28 PM (local time)
I can accept myself. God worked through you guys

The chat session has ended.

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