Fat Bastardo's Wisdom and Quotes

I, Fat Bastardo get a lot of questions on many subjects. This is because it is generally understood that most fat men are wise. Not only am I, Fat Bastardo the voice of fat acceptance I am also a soothsayer.

Be nice to fat people... we have enough on our plates. - Fat Bastardo -

Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.  - Fat Bastardo -

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long for fat people.  - Fat Bastardo -

Hey Fat Bastardo, why do fatties like Twitter? Because the hash tag look's like a waffle. - Fat Bastardo -

I hate people who are mean to fat people. They have feelings to you know. Like hunger and insecurity.  - Fat Bastardo -

88 is like 69. But with fat people.  - Fat Bastardo -

I was told the other day that "It takes 43 muscles to frown but just 17 to smile. No surprise then that fat men are jolly.   - Fat Bastardo -

Hey Fat Bastardo, what is the only thing keeping fat people from jenny craig? The door   - Fat Bastardo -