Bigger Fatter Politics is a fact based news source for all things fat and political. We present news and presidential politics from a fat centric and food centric perspective.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
How America Works: A flow Chart
The following is a a flow chart of how America works. The only change I would make is I would add medical industrial complex along side military industrial complex.
I would also add in the Weight Loss Industrial Complex, and the only good thing I would add are the food and porn and Asian girlfriend complexes.
I have recently started to learn to eatsturbate, which is when I get myself off by rubbing against my own lubed folds, while eating. It combines both pleasures at once.
Unfortunately though, I have been diagnosed with Low Testosterone, which explains a lot of my sexual difficulties lately. I am thinking about going on the testosterone patch, but then I will become sterile and I will be unable to breed. So I might need to freeze some sperm first, and then I will be able to have some babies later on. I want to slather myself in testosterone gel so that I can become big an manly - with a doctor's prescription obviously. I need to have enough testosterone to be a real man, not an obese sissy. The doctor said that if I lose a few hundred pounds I should be able to get better erections, but I can't do it.
So, the way to turbo charge my libido and boners is through chemicals. Maybe I won't need Levitra anymore after I get enough testosterone. All my fat is producing estrogen, and absorbing the testosterone, and my huge moobs are making life difficult. I have to wear a bra because they droop to the sides too much and it hurts.
It's not easy being fat, but I love the food benefits. When I eat, it's like everything is under control and going to be alright. I go into my zone - my food zone, and I just laser in on that and forget about my problems.
You can beat a drum, you can beat an egg, you can beat your wife but you can't beat a blow job.
Give her a can of gold spray paint. That's the paint of choice for gourmet huffers. Get the PosTvac and put her to work getting you hard. That's half the fun for us fat guys. Watch some good porno while she's blowing you. Save the testosterone for her. Testosterone turns woman into big sluts! Sure they sprout pig bristles like those slutty PCOS NAAFA girls but a little waxing and it's gone.
Hey El, thanks for your support. I just need to get my hormones back in check. I'm going to admit that for a few years, I was eating a lot of soy products, which raise your estrogen levels. So that may have thrown my hormones out of whack, but my testosterone levels are down to 180, which is below what a 90 year old man should even have. Mine should be like 750. I've been having to double and triple up on my soda intake to try to balance things out again but it's just not helping at all.
I'm glad that you defended Fat Bastard in fighting those bastards who oppose him. Fat Bastard is capable of holding is own in most verbal assaults, but it's very helpful to have an ally backing you up.
Speaking of backing up, I have to go back up the toilet by clogging it with some of my digested food.
I would also add in the Weight Loss Industrial Complex, and the only good thing I would add are the food and porn and Asian girlfriend complexes.
ReplyDeleteI have recently started to learn to eatsturbate, which is when I get myself off by rubbing against my own lubed folds, while eating. It combines both pleasures at once.
Unfortunately though, I have been diagnosed with Low Testosterone, which explains a lot of my sexual difficulties lately. I am thinking about going on the testosterone patch, but then I will become sterile and I will be unable to breed. So I might need to freeze some sperm first, and then I will be able to have some babies later on. I want to slather myself in testosterone gel so that I can become big an manly - with a doctor's prescription obviously. I need to have enough testosterone to be a real man, not an obese sissy. The doctor said that if I lose a few hundred pounds I should be able to get better erections, but I can't do it.
So, the way to turbo charge my libido and boners is through chemicals. Maybe I won't need Levitra anymore after I get enough testosterone. All my fat is producing estrogen, and absorbing the testosterone, and my huge moobs are making life difficult. I have to wear a bra because they droop to the sides too much and it hurts.
It's not easy being fat, but I love the food benefits. When I eat, it's like everything is under control and going to be alright. I go into my zone - my food zone, and I just laser in on that and forget about my problems.
OINK OINK OINK!
BELLY BOY, OUT
Think about this BB. What does not belong?
ReplyDeletea. Drum
b. Egg
c. Wife
d. Blow Job
You can beat a drum, you can beat an egg, you can beat your wife but you can't beat a blow job.
Give her a can of gold spray paint. That's the paint of choice for gourmet huffers. Get the PosTvac and put her to work getting you hard. That's half the fun for us fat guys. Watch some good porno while she's blowing you. Save the testosterone for her. Testosterone turns woman into big sluts! Sure they sprout pig bristles like those slutty PCOS NAAFA girls but a little waxing and it's gone.
Belly Boy, you need a harem of hot horny hoes.
Hey El, thanks for your support. I just need to get my hormones back in check. I'm going to admit that for a few years, I was eating a lot of soy products, which raise your estrogen levels. So that may have thrown my hormones out of whack, but my testosterone levels are down to 180, which is below what a 90 year old man should even have. Mine should be like 750. I've been having to double and triple up on my soda intake to try to balance things out again but it's just not helping at all.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you defended Fat Bastard in fighting those bastards who oppose him. Fat Bastard is capable of holding is own in most verbal assaults, but it's very helpful to have an ally backing you up.
Speaking of backing up, I have to go back up the toilet by clogging it with some of my digested food.
OINK OINK!
BELLY BOY, OUT
OINK to El!
ReplyDeleteEl is one violent MoFo. He reminds me of Proud FA. His blogs have high page ranks. He really has my back.