How to Talk to a Republican

There really is no reason to talk to one of these inbred Bible thumping pieces of shit and absolutely no reason to be polite since one cannot have a productive conversation with one of them.

Here are some suggestions of thing to say to a Republican.

Hey, you scripture-spouting hypochristian, you're like all the other born-agains; you're an even bigger pain in the ass the second time around.

Excuse me, you Viagra-depending hypochristian, but if you're the answer then the question must be ridiculous.

I've got bad news, you Civil War-reenacting troll. Ignorance can be cured, but stupid is forever.

Listen, you trailer-dwelling sociopath, I'd call you intellectually dishonest, but that would imply you have an intellect.

I'm curious, you climate-wrecking blowhard, does your lower intestine empty directly into your skull?

If freedom-loving Americans can't freely mock a heartless, creationism-peddling imbecile like you, then the terrorists have already won.

Listen, you planet-trampling zealot, you're such a disaster, even George Bush's FEMA couldn't screw you up more.

I have only ever made one prayer to God: 'Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it by sending me a hope-hating conservatard like you.

Tell me, you uninformed, Earth-defiling dimwit, do you Tweet your insanity too?

Hey, you sex-outlawing dimwit, I see your wheel is still spinning but the hamster is dead.