A Guide for Gainers and Losers: The Real Science

 

 A Food Journal For Gainers and Losers

Most fatlings are freestyle gainers. By that I mean they don't really have an eating plan or any method for the accounting of calories. Wannabe fatling gainers could optimize their gaining efforts if they were to simply keep a food journal. By doing so they could eliminate nutrient dense foods such as fresh fruits and vegetables which are appetite killers and substitute with calorie laden foods foods like cheese, ice cream, butter, Doritos, and a wide variety of chips and dips. The dedicated gaining glutton can optimize his or her gaining simply by keeping a food journal. At the end of the day they can review that journal to see how well they've done and look for ways of improvement for the next day so that they can more efficiently ingest a larger amount of calories without ingesting space taking high fiber foods.

Eating calorie laden foods can also help to eliminate cravings for fruits and vegetables. I shudder to think of a fatling eating a lettuce salad with raspberry vinaigrette. This does not mean that an occasional trip to the salad bar is a bad idea but if you must go to the salad bar the wise glutton piles on the cheese, bacon bits and high-fat dressings. The wisest glutton seeks to eliminate vegetation altogether and ops for fat laden meats, cheese and sugary treats.

A good gainer needs the right tools and one of those tools the fast food pyramid. When it comes to gaining, fast food is always a best bet. Fast food is quick, cheap, easy and satisfying. Fast food is a lot of food.

Many people in the size acceptance movement advocate a method of eating called health at every size or HAES. HAES was created and popularized by Linda Bacon. (sometimes satire just writes itself) The problem with HAES is that it's too confusing, especially for fat girls. Dr. Rev. Big Lard Ass coinvented the Grazen-Heimer technique along with Nobel Prize winning scientists Otto Grazen PhD and Hans Heimer PhD. Their pioneering work has led to a layman's version of the Grazen-Heimer technique. In fact there are two methods based on Grazen-Heimer. The first one is called FATT or food all the time and the other one is called EATT or eat all the time. Recently these two techniques due to their many similarities have been combined into a technique called EATT FATT. Because fat fattens best gainers are reminded to get at least 75% of the calories from fat which is much like the South Beach diet and the Atkins diet.

Gaining for Gainers.   Simplicity is key and Adherence is a must.

The successful gainer simply needs to do two things and and those two things are this. Follow the fast food pyramid and simply eat all the time with the goal of an incremental increase in calories every day. Simple adherence to the simple plan will quickly propel a portly pig into mega pig like proportions by simply eating pig like portions.

Some advocates of gaining stress the need for a sedentary lifestyle and well theory this makes sense there are several serious drawbacks to this approach. If a gainer is going for weight it is important to note that muscle weighs far more than fat. The other important factor is that activity increases appetite and it aids in digestion which speeds the transport of food from the mouth to the poop chute. Eventually the gainer will become more and more sedentary as a weight increases but starting with a good base of muscle under all that fat will increase weight and increase appetite. Too many gainers and other fatlings seemed to plateau at the paltry 400 pound mark. 400 pounds is merely a good starting point.

The Mechanics of Gaining Eat a lot eat often.

Unless you're talking there is no reason to stop eating and even if you are talking you can still talk with food in your mouth. If you're not eating your food you should be drinking your food. Eat that donut but not without a double latte. Eat that burger but not without a triple thick shake and french fries saturated in grease and covered with melted cheese and gravy. It's almost obscene to eat french fries that are not smothered in cheese and covered in gravy. Remember you are a glutton so act like a glutton and be uncouth.

Your journal will contain pages similar to a Daytimer and currently our engineers are working on an app for iPad called the Gaining App/food journal. Essentially the gaining journal is a series of pages listing the days of the weeks, months of the year and hours and minutes in the day. Every time you eat you write down in the journal what you ate at its caloric content. At the end of the day will calculate the number of calories you eat in for the day compared with your basal metabolic rate. The app will calculate your  metabolic rate and total energy expenditure for that day in real-time and if you have not exceeded your metabolic rate the app will prompt you to eat some more. The app contains pictures of food and printable coupons for great deals on fast food. Every day you will set a goal to exceed your metabolic rate by a certain percentage. This is the key to sustained and progressive gaining. The aim of this method is to incrementally increase your caloric intake. This is the most natural way of gaining. The days of the feeding tube are coming to an end and feeders who want to be successful need to become encouragers. There is still a place for the feeding tube but it is losing its prominence and should only be used in emergency situations.

 

A Guide for Losing for Losers. How to eat your way lean.

Yes, you read that right. The best way to get lean is to eat your way lean. You may be asking why a fat acceptance site would promote leanness. There are a lot of angry fat girls who really don't want to be fat. They whine and cry and bitch and moan and are otherwise a major pain in the ass. There always pissed off about something and that something is the fact that they are fat. They simply cannot or will not accept the fact that they are fat so they try to make everybody else except it but the truth is most people don't give a shit if they are fat. Most people just want these mouthy fat girls to simply shut the fuck up. This is for them and other land whales and pork beasts who for whatever silly reason want to abandon the fat lifestyle.

A good way to remain fat is to remain ignorant when it comes to basic nutrition. Blissful ignorance is the key to remaining fat. The less you know the better. Since most people who want to lose weight are fat girls I will present numbers that are appropriate for facts. The USDA recommends the average woman who is moderately active consume 2000 cal per day. If a woman eats 2000 cal a day the most weight she can maintain is about 135 pounds. As you can see it takes a lot of serious eating to even get into the 200 pound range. With today's food scape it's pretty easy to get a lot of calories in the foods you eat. Luckily for the gaining glutton today's food has an engineer especially for gaining and maintaining. This does not put the loser in good stead for losing and maintaining a low body weight and lean body mass.

Eat less and move more... but eat MORE food!

Eating less calories and burning more calories than you consume will result in weight loss. A lot of fat girl dieters like to try to deny this as they retreat back into their angry fat girl mindset and the lies of the old fat acceptance movement. Fat girls who don't want to be fat still love food so it behooves them to either like being fat or change their palates and their appetites.

An enemy to the gainer is a friend to the loser.

One of the biggest enemies the gainer is dietary fiber. Fiber, when it enters a digestive system, becomes a space hog. Eating a diet high in fiber combined with a lot of water can cause a gainer to feel full. The reason that they feel full is because they are full but they are full of extremely low-calorie food. It could be an hour or more before the stomach empties and they're hungry again. A gainers biggest mistake can be the loser's greatest triumph. Perhaps the biggest enemy to the gainer is lean protein. Lean protein can spell disaster for a gainer. Lean protein causes the stomach to release a hormone called CKK when it comes to appetite CKK is a kill switch. When the CKK hormone kicks in it's like a punch to the gut from Heavyweight boxer Iron Mike Tyson. You won't want to eat for hours. CKK mediates a number of physiological processes, including digestion and satiety.

Here is a sample page of the food journal.

Sunday

12 AM  Midnight Snack  3 slices of  pizza extra cheese and sausage 400 calories 16 oz  creme soda 200 calories.

_______________________________________________________________________

12:15 AM _________________________________________________________________ 
_______________________________________________________________________

12:30 AM _________________________________________________________________ 
_______________________________________________________________________
12:45 AM _________________________________________________________________ 
_______________________________________________________________________
1 AM _____________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________


Skip to breakfast

9:00 AM Fried eggs, 4 slices Texas toast, 1/2 pound of  bacon, 6 links sausage, 12 oz OJ, 3 cups coffee extra cream and sugar, Total calories 2189___________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________


Mid morning snack

10:30 AM 4 Krispy Creme Donuts, Tripple Carmel Latte, Total calories 700____________
_________________________________________________________________________

Lunch

12:00 PM 3 double cheese burgers, Large Shake, Large fries, XL Coke, 4  hot apple pies Total calories  2900 ________________________________________________________________

Post Lunch Snack 1:30 PM 16 oz Mountain Dew, Bag of Doritos, candy bar Total calories 700
____________________________________________________________________________


I think you get the idea.

Eat your way fat or eat your way thin. By making substitutes a person hell-bent on getting to and maintaining a low body weight can do it with relative ease but by the same token again are can easily and steadily pack on the pounds and become a walking or rolling flabalanche he or she has always dreamed of being.

$$$ Free Money For Fat People $$$

$$$ FREE Money For Fatlings $$$ By Coach Gaines

Coach Gaines is the author of EAT EAT EAT You Big Fat Pig, Fat Girls are Sluts, Hoggin: A Guide for College Freshmen, Advanced Hoggin: How to Land the Biggest Sow, Fat Girls and Feeders, Care and Feeding of Your BBW and SSBBW, Feederism a Beginner's Guide and his Pulitzer Prize winning documentary: Fat Girls and Feeders

 

CHA CHING! $$$$ Compliments of Uncle Sam $$$$

One of the nicest things about porking fat women is that many of them are simply too fat to work. That means that they are home all day just waiting for a feeding and a fucking from yours truly. One secret that the old fat acceptance with their victim mentality will not tell you is that you can get free money, housing and medical benefits simply for being too fat. When I hear the vitriol from the angry hens like Kelly Bliss in the old fat acceptance movement I hasten to remind them just how fat friendly society and Uncle Sam have become. Fat Bastard is currently on SSDI and SSI due to the disabling condition of his obesity but little did he know that simply being fat would qualify him for disability long before the heart disease, diabetes and bad knees kicked in. Cha Ching! This is another example of how the old fat acceptance through their intellectual dishonesty and their warped ideology have dropped the ball and further harmed fat people. At the next NAAFA convention, if there even is one this year, Fat Bastard and I will be serving a HUGE plate of crow to NAAFA's big wigs.

Bon Appetite NAAFA!

Gluttonous Fatlings are indeed becoming a protected and special class. Unlike Blacks who had to march and be killed just to receive basic human rights, all fatlings need to do is get fatter and whine since they have already become the majority. Fatlings did not even need a dynamic leader and martyr like Dr Martin Luther King. The only debt of gratitude that is owed by the fat community is big thank you to the food industry for serving their needs and never forgetting that the customer is always right, the medical community for all the advances that enable fat people to grow fatter and fatter and fatter and to Uncle Sam for accommodating the needs of all fat Americans regardless of color, creed or national origin and Bill Fabrey of Ample Stuff. USA USA USA USA! May the Belly God Bless America!

$$$ Social Security Disability and Morbid Obe$ity $$$

There was a time when Morbid Obesity was specifically listed in the social security impairment book, or blue book, as a disabling condition. Individuals filing for social security disability (SSD) or supplemental security income (SSI) benefits were evaluated according to a social security height/weight chart and, if their statistics met the blue book definition of obesity, they could be awarded benefits based on that condition alone.

All that changed in 1999, when Social Security no longer recognized obesity as an inherently disabling condition. The logic was that many obese individuals are able to lead productive lives and hold gainful employment. Today, you can still be awarded disability benefits for obesity, Cha Ching but only if you can demonstrate through medical records that your obesity is causing other physical symptoms severe enough to prevent you from working.

Is There a Fat Friendly Doctor In the House?

In other words, you must show, not only that you are obese, but that you are unable to work, either due to the existence of other related medical conditions such as arthritis, musculoskeletal disorders, diabetes, decreased pulmonary function (extreme difficulty breathing), etc., or due to the fact that your obesity is in itself so severe it limits you from performing work and other activities of daily living, such as driving a car, bathing, walking, etc. Cha Ching!
If your obesity is aggravating (or the cause of) medical conditions such as asthma, cardiac arrhythmia, edema, arthritis, etc., then you would file for disability based on the condition that is listed in the blue book (not obesity).

If you are morbidly obese but do not suffer from any other serious medical condition, you may still qualify for SSD/SSI benefits in the form of a medical vocational allowance, commonly referred to as a Med-Voc. A Med-Voc allowance is awarded to individuals that can show that their condition, while not listed in the blue book, is so severe that it prevents them from performing any form of gainful employment. Cha Ching! Med-Voc allowances rely heavily on a physician’s statement of your residual functional capacity (RFC), a form detailing exactly what activities you can and cannot perform in light of your medical condition.

RFC assessments are made by physicians who provide input on SSD and SSI cases for the social security administration. However, a claimant can obtain such an assessment from their own physician and submit this. Fat freindly doctor and Cha Ching! If you are planning on filing for disability based on obesity alone, you should ask your physician to fill out an RFC for you, or you may be asked to attend a consultative exam (CE) with a social security doctor, who will assess your impairment and the extent to which it limits your physical activity.



In the case of morbid obesity, an RFC will most likely be required by the disability examiner evaluating your claim, and it’s better to have the form completed by your own Fat Friendly treating physician rather than one who works for the social security administration (SSA).

Note: an RFC form is freely available from this site and can be downloaded at the bottom of the homepage for www.disabilitysecrets.com

Just take in the majesty of this man and all other gluttonous fatlings. If some fat phobic jock or some Goody Two Shoes like anorexic kill joy MeMe Roth complain that tax dollars are being spent to accommodate simply say to them, "Shut the fuck up douche canoe!" I knew Kate Harding was good for something.


Fat Bastard Being Fat and Majestic!


Obligatory Image of a Sexy Plump Porkable Poker.

Afternoon delight is not just about ice cream; it's about man cream. I love it. When fat girls don't have to work they have plenty of time to play. There are millions of these hot sexy SSBBWs waiting at home for a fat admirer to deliver the sausage.