Chris Christie Lambastes Boehner And His Republican Henchmen

Chris Christie Crucifies Congressional Creeps


Gov. Christie chews  up and spits out house speaker John "crybaby" Boehner as he shames shameful Christians.

This is one more example of how greedy the red state Bible Belt Christians really are. Republican Congressman from New York and New Jersey did not hesitate to vote for aid for hurricane Katrina victims in Mississippi and Louisiana. Hurricane Sandy was far more devastating than Hurricane Katrina.

It's becoming more and more clear that the Bible thumpers are hateful bunch. These morons still fighting the Civil War and as we all know the Civil War was fought mostly to free the slaves who were enslaved by these heartless and cruel Christians.


As leader of the new fat acceptance movement, I, Fat Bastard, once again demonstrate that fat large and in charge guys like Gov. Christie make great leaders. The good folks in New Jersey are happy to see Chris Christie throwing his weight around. Unfortunately, Gov. Christie is the exception that proves the rule in that he is a Republican who actually cares more about people and he does his party.

I said in an earlier article that like that other fat guy Teddy Roosevelt, Christie would be wise to start his own political party. If you know your history you will know that Teddy Roosevelt was a Republican who started the Bull Moose Party. Christie would be wise to appeal to the Italian vote by starting a pizza party. As you know the state of New Jersey has a lot of Italian-American citizens and one look at Chris Christie and you know that he knows his pizza.

Christie Approval Ratings Soar As Crazies In GOP Diss Him

The more Republicans condemn Chris Christie to working with Obama and helping the people of New Jersey the higher his approval ratings soar. History has shown us that the greatest American presidents have been fat. Teddy Roosevelt, William Howard Taft and  Bill Clinton were without a doubt America's best presidents. Teddy Roosevelt actually started his own party, the Bull Moose Party. With today's GOP splintered, crazy, corrupt and dysfunctional, perhaps Chris Christie should do what TR did and start his own party and because he's fat and from Jersey he should call it the Pizza Party.

Deep down Christie is a Progressive same as former Republican TR. The Bull Moose Party was  the first progressive movement.  TR was fat and he use to say BULLY BULLY but he was really saying BELLY BELLY.



The Progressive Party of 1912 was an American political party. It was formed by former President Theodore Roosevelt, after a split in the Republican Party between himself and President William Howard Taft.



The party also became known as the Bull Moose Party when former President Roosevelt boasted "I'm fit as a bull moose," before being shot in an assassination attempt prior to his 1912 campaign speech in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

 
Let's be honest about it, Chris Christie learned a lesson from Obama and that lesson was that he was much more like Obama than he was like Romney. History will teach us all a lesson and that is Obama is very much like my favorite president, William Howard Taft. Read more HERE

OINK!

Fattest President Ever Was The Greastest President Ever

Now that Belly Boy has thrown his hat in the ring and announced his candidacy and waddle for President of the United State of America I, Fat Bastard as his chief political adviser believe that a historical perspective is in order for this momentous event. Belly Boy has already made the Guinness Book of word records for being America's fattest candidate by crushing Presidents Clinton, Taft and Teddy Roosevelt combined weights by a whopping 300 pounds.

Who were America's greatest presidents ever. Some may say it was that skinny bean pole Abraham Lincoln but Lincoln cut down that cherry tree and that meant less cherry pies. Obama is also a bean pole and while he dragged the world out of a massive recession, killed countless terrorists and reformed health care slightly the jury is still out on him.

History has shown that our greatest presidents have been fat with the greatest president William Howard Taft, followed by William Jefferson Clinton and finally Teddy Roosevelt. 


Let's start with the greatest and the fattest president William Howard Taft.



Here are some facts about Taft: he weighed 330 lbs. This was in stark contrast to Teddy Roosevelt, who was very physically fat and fit. One year, he received for Christmas a 50 lb. mince meat pie and a 26 lb. opossum from Georgia, which was said to be the largest ever shot in the state.

Some historians suggest that he wasn't re-elected because of this negative public image, which was not helped by the fact that he was seemingly always out golfing with business leaders but I believe that People who looked past all of this realized that during his four years in office, he busted twice as many trusts and chair as Teddy Roosevelt had in eight years in office. He was a much better president than Clinton or Teddy Roosevelt. Not only was he a better it was because Roosevelt stepped in and formed a rival party called the Bull Moose Party allowing Democrat Woodrow Wilson to win. trust buster than TR he also busted more furniture and once got stuck in a bathtub so they created a super sized bathtub just for him. While Bill Clinton was busting a nut in Monica Lewinski's pretty mouth William Howard Taft was busting greedy corporations. Taft was a true progressive,

Following Roosevelt into office, Taft continued to enforce antitrust laws. He was key in bringing down the Standard Oil Company in 1911. Also during Taft's term in office, the sixteenth amendment was passed that allowed the U.S. to collect income taxes.

Taft was more loved than Reagan. "Justice Brewer of the Supreme Court said that 'Taft is the politest man in Washington; the other day he gave up his seat in a street-car to three ladies.'"

After Taft lost the election of 1912, Yale University sent a man to the White House to suggest that Taft accept a Chair of Law at the University. Taft replied that a Chair would not be adequate, but that if the University would provide a Sofa of Law, "it might be all right'.

Bill Best When Big Bawdy and Bulbous!

William Jefferson Clinton aka Bill Bubba Clinton (AKA the BIG DOG!)

Growing up poor, self made man Bill Clinton had to budget for food. This is why he was able to balance the the budget and create surplus while paying down the debt and growing the economy. As the economy grew so did Clinton which showed everyone that he was on the right track.

Monica Lewinsky didn't get those lips from sucking door knobs sideways!

Like all fat guys Bill knew this. You can beat a drum, you can beat an egg and you can beat your wife (Hillary could kick his fat boy ass) but you can't beat a blow job.

Teddy Roosevelt Shouting BELLY!

Teddy Roosevelt

Many people are confused. They think that TR was constantly shouting  BULLY but in reality he was saying  BELLY!

When not trust busting these belly bustling bubbas brandished their big bellies!

Sadly my presidential hopeful Chris "Krispy Kreme" Christie has committed political suicide, obviously the result of his foolhardy bariatric surgery. Clearly Christie got some bad advice from a political adviser. 75% of Americans are fat... DUH... He was guaranteed a landslide victory! Then he got that rare fat boy jealousy and started throwing his weight around thought he could get away with fucking with the Fort Lee mayor. This was clearly the result of surgery induced ketogenic psychosis.

Christie's other mistake was similar to Julius Caesar's fatal error of surrounding himself with skinny men with the lean and hungry look.

Enter the beloved Rob Ford. People love fat guys. People loved Chris Farley, John Belushi, Rodney Dangerfield, John Candy, Pavarroti, Luther Vandross, Sam Kinison. Rob Ford is a crack smoking, boozing, whoring big fat son of a bitch and everybody loves him and in spite of his gluttony, drugging and whoring he was still on of the best mayors in the world.

People are forgiving. A good fat boy mia culpa will square things with the American people. What was so bad about the little prank you pulled on Fort Lee? Bill Clinton did a lot worse things than that. He signed the repeal of Glass Steagal and was shameless glutton and whore fucker and people still love him. Bush on the other hand was a chicken hawk, AWOL coke snorting alcoholic and probably still is but people hate him. If G. W. would just get fat and forget about his vanity the brain dead American people would love him.

Go on a binge Governor Christie. Get that fucking Lap-Band removed and party down. Get high with Rob Ford, smoke a Fatty with Snoop, bust some rhymes and EAT!

Boom Shakka Lakka I love being crude
Boom Shakka Lakka Bring me more food
Boom Shakka Lakka Roll me a fatty
East coast Governator be your pimp daddy.




Boom Shakka Lakka I can barely walk

Put me in my scooter this Nigga can I talk
Boom Shakka Lakka I be gettin bigga
East coast governor I be one fly Nigga

Ridin in my limo posse by my side
Pimpin them corporate hoes nationwide.
Boom Shakka Lakka rollin to the fridge
Fuck with me Nigga and I'll shut down EVERY bridge

Boom Shakka Lakka hangin with Obama
President is chill no baby mamma drama.
Word to ISIS from the USA.
Fuck with us Niggas I blow your ass away.



Christie shouts to the crowd, "Give it up for my Nigga Rob Ford." Ford waddles onto the stage and he can Christie belly bump and the crowd goes wild. Ford and Christie share a super sized Bob Marley fattie rolled with the finest BC Hydro. They waddle of the stage and head to the limo.