Banning Gay Marriage or Denying Gay Marriage Rights is Unconstitutional

Amendment XIV

Section 1.

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Section 2.

Representatives shall be apportioned among the several states according to their respective numbers, counting the whole number of persons in each state, excluding Indians not taxed. But when the right to vote at any election for the choice of electors for President and Vice President of the United States, Representatives in Congress, the executive and judicial officers of a state, or the members of the legislature thereof, is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such state, being twenty-one years of age, and citizens of the United States, or in any way abridged, except for participation in rebellion, or other crime, the basis of representation therein shall be reduced in the proportion which the number of such male citizens shall bear to the whole number of male citizens twenty-one years of age in such state.

Section 3.

No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any state, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any state legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any state, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.

Section 4.

The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned. But neither the United States nor any state shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void.

Section 5.

The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

The U.S. Supreme Court delivered a landmark victory for gay rights on Wednesday by forcing the federal government to recognize same-sex marriages in states where it is legal and paving the way for it in California, the most populous state.

You may be asking yourself where is the fat angle here.  Gays will be moving to gay friendly states same as fatlings move to fat friendly states. This is a good thing for fatties who live in gay friendly states because gays are economically more productive. This means more tax revenue for the states and that translates into more handouts for us fatties. It could also mean a shortage of straight men who are homophobic and that means more women for us fat guys. The downside is that it could mean an influx of angry man hating fat girls. Diesel dykes are great when they are in a porno rug munching a hot feminine  skinny chick but in the real world they can be a huge pain in the butt.

 The most important fat reason is that gay men are great cooks and gay waiters are very efficient.

Clearly, fat boy Justice Anton Scalia know that gay mens are great cooks and that gay waiters are stronger than waitresses and are capable of handling heavier trays with more food as they swish and sway on their quest to deliver large amounts of food to us greedy gluttons in a timely manner!