Sunday, January 29, 2012

Paula Deen Defies Doctors and Diabetes

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Paula Deen the Butter Queen a gorgeous gal glutton heroine to fatlings everywhere is not letting her diabetes impede her hedonistic ways. Diabetes will not stop the gormandizing diva from eating her usual glutton fare. Piggy Paula, the Southern sexy sow siren and mature motherly MILF cow of the Food Network is bravely defying the medical advice of alarmist doctors and eating whatever she damn well pleases y'all.

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A Hefty Porker Paula making short work of a Belly Burger


TMZ originally broke this story but our own internet reporter Belly Boy has been in touch with the meaty Southern belle and is hoping to get a comment on the TMZ story.

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Porcine Paula has turned lemons into lemon meringue pie with a thick butter crust by striking a deal to shill Novo Nordisk's Victoza. Paula in her diva like defiance is telling fatlings everywhere that you don't have to give up delicious food when the drug companies have kindly catered to the needs of big fat gluttons everywhere.

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This BBW gourmet is proof that FAT FATTENS BEST!



Paula is bravely taking Victoza ene though it was given a Black Box warning: “Because it can cause thyroid C-cell cancers, even though Victoza should only be given to patients for whom the potential benefits are considered to outweigh the potential cancer risk.” Although the marker for thyroid cancer present in patients was high, it was still within normal range, according to the authorities. Still, the only way to find out is to continue ongoing cancer monitoring for the next 15 years! Paula is not only hot pretty pig she is not acting as a guinea pig so that other fatlings, food sluts and gluttons can enjoy and abundant and gluttonous life while actualizing her greedy gluttony and making a cool 500 grand in the bargain. 
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Proud piggy Paula cashing in on her diabetes!
Read more about Victoza here

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According to other news sources Paula's stick boy sons are not happy with Paula's eating and her choice to take Victoza. As a result these snot nosed ingrates are accusing Paula of being a poor role model for young folks but Paula has a strong retort and angry oink. Paula is one hell of a ROLL model -- a Parker house roll with lot's of butter.

Friday, January 27, 2012

One Very Angry Oink @ Strong4Life

If I have said it once I've said is 1000 times, fat kids are cute but the weight loss Nazis at Strong4Life are launching a Gestapo like attack on the fat kids of Georgia. Georgia is proudly one of our fattest states and it boasts having the number 2 spot for childhood obesity. Strong4life wants to ruin all that with their fear mongering and fat phobia. In response to this neo Nazi organization I, Fat Bastard and issuing one very loud and angry OINK! OINK!


We are not alone in our angry oinking. Strong4Life is hearing a cacophony from the angry sows at Fierce Fatties who has a CALL TO ACTION to stop this hateful venomous assault on fat kids and their fat parents.


Here is some of the hateful things Strong4Life is promoting.




In this video a sadistic drill instructor forces this fatling to walk for 6 minutes!


In this video fatling kids are put through workouts that would kill a Navy SEAL and then they are force fed vegetables before they are led in to a vegan black mass with high priestess MeMe Roth.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

COMING SOON! Proud FA's Obesogenic Diet

For out new reader let me take this opportunity to welcome you to Bigger Fatter Politics and introduce you to Proud FA aka the Dean of Feederism.

Proud FA is one of the most famous feeders on the planet. With the possible exception of Coach Gains, Proud FA holds the record for fattening most BBWs and turning them into SSBBW's. Proud FA has taken his vast fund of feeding knowledge and he has created the earth shattering Obesogenic Diet. This work will also be known as Feeder/Feedee's Bible. This gainer's guide will be the go to source on how to get fat and stay fat.

We want to whet your appetite so I will recycle an older blog article on feederism and gaining penned by Proud FA, Presidential hopeful Belly Boy and me, Fat Bastard. .

Gaining Tips. A glutton's guide for packing on the fat and pounds.

  •  Start with tasty fattening like sweet tea or other foods that have calories for your body.  
  •  Examine your current eating habit and stop consuming those with negative effects on your weight gain plan.            
  • Find a book of calories and learn what type of food that will help you gain weight.
  • Sit.  
  • Invest in food delivery service.
  • Watch your consumption of foods that have a lot of fiber, eat refined sugar and fat, resist temptations to snack on vegetables, and whole grains. Increase fatty red meat. Eat with ferocity.
  • Super-size your dinner plate, the more food that is served to you, the more you will eat. The same goes for liquid with the exception of water. Avoid water!
  • Frequent napping daily for 30 to 45 minutes. Buy a pedometer and aim for under 100 steps a day.
  • Find opportunities to conserve calories by taking the elevator and get others to run errands for you.
  • Eat quickly and excitedly, if you eat too slowly your brain will eventually tell you that you are no longer hungry.
  • Drink lots of heavy cream, at least 8 glasses a day.
  • Nap and doze frequently.
  • When doing your groceries, pick hig-fat foods, like milk, cheese, cream, butter , yogurt etc.
  • Snack on fruits, candied apples and chocolate covered raisins.
  • Eat more at home and have your meals delivered.
  • Be mindful of your salad dressing, the type and how much and pour it on liberally.
  • People tend to under-eat when they are depressed or stressed, so be mindful to indulge in comfort-food when you feel down.
  • Place notes at strategic locations for eg on the fridge door that reminds you that you are trying to gain weight.

  • Reward yourself after each weekly success. Indulge and pig-out
  • Make a list of all the yummy foods that you crave and tend to binge on and eat as many of those foods as you can get your greedy paws on.
  • Make a list of clothes that will look good on you once you gain weight.
The above are my tips. As a fat guy they are good tips but I Fat Bastard and a mere pup compared to the great Belly Boy. Here are his gaining tips. I have to defer to his expertise just as I Fat Bastard defer to "Dr" Gerald "Teddy" Bear's expertise in fields like fat studies, fat soma types  and bariatric nutrition.

Belly Boy's Gaining Tips! 


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2) Always have some cigarettes after each meal in order to aid the digestive process. Green tea is for health nuts. http://laist.com/attachments/tony/greatjohn.jpg 
1) Have your butler give you a massage before you eat, to stimulate your appetite. http://www.mustknowhow.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/cigarette.jpg 3) Take healthy dumps whenever the need arises, so that you have more room for food. http://renegademoms.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Western-pack-butter.jpg  4) Butter is your buddy . http://gloomyvegan.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/lard2.jpg 5) Lard is your lover. http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08216.jpg 6) Fried is your friend. http://www.health-eating.net/wp-content/plugins/WPRobot3/images/2f0cb_nutrition_facts_133321459_7d8a89ed25.jpg   7) Looks can be deceiving, always read food labels to make sure you are using the highest quality ingredients when cooking. More calories and fat content means higher quality. The nutrition labels are meant for thinlings, so adjust the percentages accordingly. You should be eating at least 20,000 calories every day. http://images.codingforcharity.org/dmp/2010/11/21/Waddle_20101121200247_thumb.png 8) Don't be afraid to waddle around in order to work up a bigger appetite. I know this sounds like it wouldn't work but it does. You don't want to become completely immobile because there are many disadvantages and it is not as fun as it sounds when you fantaSIZE about it as I used to. http://www.instructables.com/image/FFKI16GG33OYEI1/The-Best-Mexican-Chip-Dip-in-the-whole-entire-worl.jpg 9) Always snack in between meals, to keep your strength up and to whet your appetite for the next meal. http://coltmonday.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/shaq-sleep-eating.jpg?w=504 10) Never sleep for more than 3 hours at a time! Set your alarm to wake yourself up every 3 hours and keep some goodies next to your bed so that you can have something to eat at night. This little trick, I call it "Sleep Eating," and it is an excellent way to pack on the pounds. On normal days you do 2 3-hour cycles, and on weekends you do 3 or 4 3-hour cycles.
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11) Get a sedentary office job. Make sure to leave your jacket on your chair and half a sandwich on your desk so that people will think you just stepped out and will be right back. Then, you hit up the nearby McDonalds for awhile, and come back to the office and act VERY angry and complain about how busy you are, so it shows you are a hard worker and people won't bother you with more work. Use this technique to eat your way to the top of the corporate food chain. http://www.fanstarleagues.com/football/drunkspool/images/long-turd-big.jpg 12) SAVE YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENTS. http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/PFR1105.jpg 13) Don't fall into the "three meals a trap", make sure you have at least 5 main meals everyday. Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Dinner, and Supper. You want to snack in between meals as I mentioned, including while you drive. Just because it's illegal to drink and drive doesn't mean you can't EAT and drive! Use the law's loopholes to your advantage! http://media.gazettextra.com/img/photos/2009/04/30/DoughnutChamp_t200.jpg?63053ce3c12ccdabb07c8a8609241a2395705911 14) Donuts are a fat person's best friend. They are compact, have a hole for easy carrying, and pack some solid calories into a small place. The high sugar content gets your blood sugar up; and when you combine the sugar rush with some coffee, you will be up and humming along while all of your co-workers are still drowsy and cranky. http://www.whatsonxiamen.com/news_images/77511.jpg 15) Be careful when you are feeding. It can be easy to get caught up in the moment and end up biting one of your fingers, which can be very painful and even require surgery. In extreme cases, a feeding glutton may even chew off and swallow his own finger without even realizing it. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gege_EncnjY/S7c9bDITKEI/AAAAAAAAASI/Qz-nBJXWIqk/s400/IZ1s.jpg 16) Learn to play a very small instrument, such as a tiny guitar, or other child-sized instruments. This makes you look bigger, inspiring you to eat more. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_u7LnAXyVfww/SkADXE8cjtI/AAAAAAAAAF8/Uio188eE7hQ/s400/225629_fat_guy_in_car.jpg 17) Drive an SUV. Sure you waste a few hundred dollars a year on gas, but you make up for it with extra storage space, cup holders, cargo space, places to put things, empty space, and more room. It can be hard to climb the stair to get up, but you can have extra steps installed to make it easier to get up. It's like SUViagra. http://www.poopreport.com/Images/Consumer/Content/Bidet/Images/phess3.jpg 18) Invest in a good portable bidet, which is a must if you are on the road. This helps stimulate your appetite by being clean, although sometimes it can be fun to be dirty instead. The choice is all up to you. http://www.natural-wonder-pets.com/images/NoToothbrush.jpg 19) NEVER brush your teeth! This wears them down, and as gluttons our teeth are already worn down from all that chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, and chewing. The bristles just make them wear down even faster. Instead, apply toothpaste directly to your teeth and swish it around over your teeth, and use mouth wash as well. Mouthwash is also an excellent foot deodorizer, if you mix some with water and put it in a clean bedpan and stick your feet in.
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GOUT
BELLY BOY, GOUT



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EAT!

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EAT!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Who Gets The Fat Vote: Obama? Gingrich

I Fat Bastard, have been pondering the question or who will win the fat vote. I have consulted with some of the most astute political fatlings and I am still in a quandry but I do have some thoughts and predictions.

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The Chef loves the ladies and the ladies love the Chef.

According to the Chef, fat voters will split among gender and geographical lines. The Chef: "Them BBW's and SSBBW's will be votin for the Barrack God bless em but them fat crackas will be voting for Newt."

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Fat males will be voting primarily for :pig: Republican :pig: Newt Gingrich. There are many reasons for this. Gingrich is a fat guy and while he is not even close to Chris Christie  he's a hell of a lot fatter than Obama. Fat guys admire a corpulent man like Gingrich because he's one fat guy that gets laid a lot! Most fat guys only sex is with Rosie Palm and her five sisters. Gingrich gets more ass than a toilet seat and that's more than former fatling Bill Clinton. Gingrich once said of his first or second wife, "She not pretty enough to be a president's wife and besides she has cancer." 

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That's fattitude. 

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This makes :pig:Newt Gingrich:pig: the hogzilla of alpha pigs. OINK! He's a hero to fat boys everywhere. A lot of fat guys would like to be a womanizer like Newt Gingrich but they just don't have his sweep. Fat guys will be voting for Newt.

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President Obama will do great with the sows. Women swoon over him and so do fat girls. The like skinny guys because skinny guy often leave some food on their plate and as the late Tupac Shakur so adroitly pointed out, "Skinny niggas can really throw the dick." and The first lady always has a smile on her face so Barack can really throw the dick. Fat girls are jealous of Michelle but they love Barrack and always go for guys who are way way way out of their league. 

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Da FOOD!

Obama's home town is Chicago and Chicago is one of the fattest cities in the world. Obama will carry the fat vote in major metropolitan areas and Obama is courting those voters with a lot of power eating of his own.

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The White House is courting fat female voters with big thick wieners. Fat girls love big thick wieners!

:pig: Republicans:pig: are working much harder and  for the fat vote. The Republicans have big time pig time money behind them and the following article from Mother Jones explains.


http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/06/republicans-courting-fat-vote


:pig:Republicans:pig: Court the Fat Vote

| Thu Jun. 2, 2011 8:54 AM PDT

There isn't much dispute in the public health world that Americans are too fat. A quarter of all Americans living in 39 states are clinically obese, numbers that have expanded dramatically over the past 20 years. So you'd think that when the Obama administration tries to actually do something to address the obesity epidemic, most everyone would be on board. With the current crop of Republicans in Congress, though, you'd be mistaken.

The Washington Post reports that House :pig: Republicans:pig: have decided to slash away at public health measures designed to combat obesity, especially those aimed at children. On Tuesday, a House appropriations committee decided to do away with the first new upgrade of federal nutritional standards for public school meals in 15 years. Making the meals lower in fat and sugar and adding in more fruits and veggies, they concluded, simply cost too much. And those regulations passed last year that would require fast-food outlets to post the calorie information of their fattening offerings? Well, House :pig:Republicans:pig: want to exempt 7-Elevens, grocery stores, and other businesses from those rules. Americans apparently don't need to know that the Double Gulp they're about the buy contains a whopping 600 calories. Children, who are assaulted daily with advertising for horrible, fatty, sugar-laden food will get no relief from :pig:Republicans:pig:, who have told the Department of Agriculture to back away from crafting even voluntary guidelines for companies that pitch food to kids.

Clearly, :pig:Republicans:pig: are pandering to their big-ag and corporate food processing donors here. But by doing so, it sure looks like they are giving new meaning to the party's "big tent." They aren't setting a particularly good example, at least, when it comes to taking obesity seriously. But perhaps they don't care that much.

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Gov. Chris "Crisco" Christie flaunting fabulous fat folds.

One of the party's leading lights, the heavyset New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, once told Don Imus, "I am setting an example Don. We have to spur our economy. Dunkin Donuts, International House of Pancakes, those people need to work too.”  Christie this week took a state helicopter to his kid's baseball game, got in a black sedan that drove him 100 yards to the baseball diamond and then back to the helicopter. Apparently walking was just out of the question. :pig:Republicans:pig: are trying desperately to get Christie to run for president.