Thursday, June 13, 2013

George W Obama

'George W. Obama' (via The Huffington Post)

'George W. Obama' isn't a very comfortable look for the president

Karl Rove's in his corner, but Al Gore isn't. So if Barack Obama looks in the mirror, or on the Internet, and doesn't recognize himself, it's no wonder. This creepy mashup of "George W. Obama" went viral after the Huffington Post posted it on the site's front page in the wake of revelations that communications companies have been sharing Americans' phone records with the National Security Agency. And for once, there's more outrage from the left (the ACLU called it "Orwellian") than the right, where a critic like former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer cackles that the president is "vindicating Bush." Obama's plea that "we're going to have some problems here" without trust seems to be true. It looks as if he has one. [Source]

You may be asking... Hey Fat Bastard where is the fat angle here other than the intelligence industrial complex getting fatter? I'm glad you asked. Al Gore is fat as hell and he's waded in on this.


Al Gore: NSA Phone Records Collecting ‘Obscenely Outrageous’

Posted by Gaby T, June 11, 2013

Al Gore had some harsh words for the Obama administration in response to the news,first reported by The Guardian on Wednesday, that the National Security Agency had been secretly collecting millions of Verizon customers’ phone records for the past few months.

The former vice president slammed the overreach of the NSA’s surveillance powers on Twitter.
While Gore is best known for his work on climate change, he has also expressed his concern about threats to privacy rights in the past.
Earlier this year at South By Southwest, Gore decried a creeping government culture of surveillance.

“The government is about to complete this $2 billion facility in Utah that can sweep up everything” from phone calls to emails,: Gore said, according to tech news website Slashdot. “And the Supreme Court just ruled you can’t sue.”

Gore was also outspoken when the media revealed that the Bush administration had been engaging in warrantless wiretapping. The practice “virtually compels the conclusion that the president of the United States has been breaking the law repeatedly and persistently,” Gore said in a speech in 2006,

The New York Times reported.
via June 06 News: Al Gore: NSA Phone Records Collecting ‘Obscenely Outrageous’ | Huffington Post

A Guide for Gainers and Losers: The Real Science

 

 A Food Journal For Gainers and Losers

Most fatlings are freestyle gainers. By that I mean they don't really have an eating plan or any method for the accounting of calories. Wannabe fatling gainers could optimize their gaining efforts if they were to simply keep a food journal. By doing so they could eliminate nutrient dense foods such as fresh fruits and vegetables which are appetite killers and substitute with calorie laden foods foods like cheese, ice cream, butter, Doritos, and a wide variety of chips and dips. The dedicated gaining glutton can optimize his or her gaining simply by keeping a food journal. At the end of the day they can review that journal to see how well they've done and look for ways of improvement for the next day so that they can more efficiently ingest a larger amount of calories without ingesting space taking high fiber foods.

Eating calorie laden foods can also help to eliminate cravings for fruits and vegetables. I shudder to think of a fatling eating a lettuce salad with raspberry vinaigrette. This does not mean that an occasional trip to the salad bar is a bad idea but if you must go to the salad bar the wise glutton piles on the cheese, bacon bits and high-fat dressings. The wisest glutton seeks to eliminate vegetation altogether and ops for fat laden meats, cheese and sugary treats.

A good gainer needs the right tools and one of those tools the fast food pyramid.
When it comes to gaining, fast food is always a best bet. Fast food is quick, cheap, easy and satisfying. Fast food is a lot of food.

Many people in the size acceptance movement advocate a method of eating called health at every size or HAES. HAES was created and popularized by Linda Bacon. (sometimes satire just writes itself) The problem with HAES is that it's too confusing, especially for fat girls. Dr. Rev. Big Lard Ass coinvented the Grazen-Heimer technique along with Nobel Prize winning scientists Otto Grazen PhD and Hans Heimer PhD. Their pioneering work has led to a layman's version of the Grazen-Heimer technique. In fact there are two methods based on Grazen-Heimer. The first one is called FATT or food all the time and the other one is called EATT or eat all the time. Recently these two techniques due to their many similarities have been combined into a technique called EATT FATT. Because fat fattens best gainers are reminded to get at least 75% of the calories from fat which is much like the South Beach diet and the Atkins diet.

Gaining for Gainers.   Simplicity is key and Adherence is a must.

The successful gainer simply needs to do two things and and those two things are this. Follow the fast food pyramid and simply eat all the time with the goal of an incremental increase in calories every day. Simple adherence to the simple plan will quickly propel a portly pig into mega pig like proportions by simply eating pig like portions.

Some advocates of gaining stress the need for a sedentary lifestyle and well theory this makes sense there are several serious drawbacks to this approach. If a gainer is going for weight it is important to note that muscle weighs far more than fat. The other important factor is that activity increases appetite and it aids in digestion which speeds the transport of food from the mouth to the poop chute. Eventually the gainer will become more and more sedentary as a weight increases but starting with a good base of muscle under all that fat will increase weight and increase appetite. Too many gainers and other fatlings seemed to plateau at the paltry 400 pound mark. 400 pounds is merely a good starting point.

The Mechanics of Gaining Eat a lot eat often.

Unless you're talking there is no reason to stop eating and even if you are talking you can still talk with food in your mouth. If you're not eating your food you should be drinking your food. Eat that donut but not without a double latte. Eat that burger but not without a triple thick shake and french fries saturated in grease and covered with melted cheese and gravy. It's almost obscene to eat french fries that are not smothered in cheese and covered in gravy. Remember you are a glutton so act like a glutton and be uncouth.

Your journal will contain pages similar to a Daytimer and currently our engineers are working on an app for iPad called the Gaining App/food journal. Essentially the gaining journal is a series of pages listing the days of the weeks, months of the year and hours and minutes in the day. Every time you eat you write down in the journal what you ate at its caloric content. At the end of the day will calculate the number of calories you eat in for the day compared with your basal metabolic rate. The app will calculate your  metabolic rate and total energy expenditure for that day in real-time and if you have not exceeded your metabolic rate the app will prompt you to eat some more. The app contains pictures of food and printable coupons for great deals on fast food. Every day you will set a goal to exceed your metabolic rate by a certain percentage. This is the key to sustained and progressive gaining. The aim of this method is to incrementally increase your caloric intake. This is the most natural way of gaining. The days of the feeding tube are coming to an end and feeders who want to be successful need to become encouragers. There is still a place for the feeding tube but it is losing its prominence and should only be used in emergency situations.

 https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVJztcx1EQOARyVFu7JAN0tTzXQo0DAVbdeAXlmvxlbhopG5CsAGlwHgOpno9dbLoaniQcbMP67vdZ6-wf8xxwe9f__Ar2qwc5wgp_1Mu9EQLKvNY_arWym5jha2XQspYmAXH2hQyqFt0L/s1600/fatso.jpg
A Guide for Losing for Losers. How to eat your way lean.

Yes, you read that right. The best way to get lean is to eat your way lean. You may be asking why a fat acceptance site would promote leanness. There are a lot of angry fat girls who really don't want to be fat. They whine and cry and bitch and moan and are otherwise a major pain in the ass. There always pissed off about something and that something is the fact that they are fat. They simply cannot or will not accept the fact that they are fat so they try to make everybody else except it but the truth is most people don't give a shit if they are fat. Most people just want these mouthy fat girls to simply shut the fuck up. This is for them and other land whales and pork beasts who for whatever silly reason want to abandon the fat lifestyle.

A good way to remain fat is to remain ignorant when it comes to basic nutrition. Blissful ignorance is the key to remaining fat. The less you know the better. Since most people who want to lose weight are fat girls I will present numbers that are appropriate for facts. The USDA recommends the average woman who is moderately active consume 2000 cal per day. If a woman eats 2000 cal a day the most weight she can maintain is about 135 pounds. As you can see it takes a lot of serious eating to even get into the 200 pound range. With today's food scape it's pretty easy to get a lot of calories in the foods you eat. Luckily for the gaining glutton today's food has an engineer especially for gaining and maintaining. This does not put the loser in good stead for losing and maintaining a low body weight and lean body mass.

Eat less and move more... but eat MORE food!

Eating less calories and burning more calories than you consume will result in weight loss. A lot of fat girl dieters like to try to deny this as they retreat back into their angry fat girl mindset and the lies of the old fat acceptance movement. Fat girls who don't want to be fat still love food so it behooves them to either like being fat or change their palates and their appetites.

An enemy to the gainer is a friend to the loser.

One of the biggest enemies the gainer is dietary fiber. Fiber, when it enters a digestive system, becomes a space hog. Eating a diet high in fiber combined with a lot of water can cause a gainer to feel full. The reason that they feel full is because they are full but they are full of extremely low-calorie food. It could be an hour or more before the stomach empties and they're hungry again. A gainers biggest mistake can be the loser's greatest triumph. Perhaps the biggest enemy to the gainer is lean protein. Lean protein can spell disaster for a gainer. Lean protein causes the stomach to release a hormone called CKK when it comes to appetite CKK is a kill switch. When the CKK hormone kicks in it's like a punch to the gut from Heavyweight boxer Iron Mike Tyson. You won't want to eat for hours. CKK mediates a number of physiological processes, including digestion and satiety.

Here is a sample page of the food journal.

Sunday

12 AM  Midnight Snack  3 slices of  pizza extra cheese and sausage 400 calories 16 oz  creme soda 200 calories.

_______________________________________________________________________

12:15 AM _________________________________________________________________ 
_______________________________________________________________________

12:30 AM _________________________________________________________________ 
_______________________________________________________________________
12:45 AM _________________________________________________________________ 
_______________________________________________________________________
1 AM _____________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________


Skip to breakfast

9:00 AM Fried eggs, 4 slices Texas toast, 1/2 pound of  bacon, 6 links sausage, 12 oz OJ, 3 cups coffee extra cream and sugar, Total calories 2189___________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________


Mid morning snack

10:30 AM 4 Krispy Creme Donuts, Tripple Carmel Latte, Total calories 700____________
_________________________________________________________________________

Lunch

12:00 PM 3 double cheese burgers, Large Shake, Large fries, XL Coke, 4  hot apple pies Total calories  2900 ________________________________________________________________

Post Lunch Snack 1:30 PM 16 oz Mountain Dew, Bag of Doritos, candy bar Total calories 700
____________________________________________________________________________


I think you get the idea.

Eat your way fat or eat your way thin. By making substitutes a person hell-bent on getting to and maintaining a low body weight can do it with relative ease but by the same token again are can easily and steadily pack on the pounds and become a walking or rolling flabalanche he or she has always dreamed of being.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Should NSA Whistle Blower Edward Snowden Be Pardoned?

Sign the White House petition

I'm still trying to sort things out on this but at this point I smell a rat.

1. We have the CIA, the FBI, Interpol, the Department of Homeland Security, the Secret Service and others so why do we need the NSA spying on every single American?

2.  If the NSA program is actually effective in preventing terrorism how did two suspected terrorists pull off the Boston marathon bombing?

3. It has been known and widely reported since 2005 that the NSA has been recording every phone call any Internet activity of every American. Certainly the Muslim terrorist groups were aware of this. This being the case, this spying program has been compromised for the past eight years so what's the point of continuing it?

4. How is this not a blatant violation of the fourth amendment?

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

In America they snarl and say, "I need to see some ID!" Before they beat you.
Nazi Germany They'd Say Papers Please



Ask Fat Bastard: Fat Bastard On Wives

I Fat Bastard have been known to give sage advice and as a result I get asked a lot of questions.



Jim asks: Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

Mark asks: What is love? A: The delusion that one woman differs from another. 

Rick asks: What worse than finding out your wife's got cancer? A: Finding out it's curable.

Grant asks: Why do wives like to have sex with the lights off? A: They can't stand to see their husbands have a good time!

Derek asks: Why do wives talk so much? A. Because they have two sets of lips.


Carlo asks: Why did God create lesbians? A: So feminists couldn't breed.



Mike asks: Why did God invent the yeast infection? A: So your wife could know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.

Jerry asks:  Why do wives fake orgasms ? Because they think husbands care.

Tim asks: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? A: Made her chain too long.


Chuck asks: What is the definition of "making love"? A: Something your wife does while your fucking her.


Dean asks: What do 3 million abused women do wrong every year? A: They don't fucking listen.

Frank asks: Why do women close their eyes during sex? A: They can't stand to see a man having a good time.


George asks: Why do most men die before their wives? A: They want to!

Gilbert asks: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Wedding Cake!

Dave asks: Why can't you trust your wife? A: How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die?

Bill asks: What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

Glen asks:  Do you know why wives fake orgasm? A: Because husbands fake foreplay.

Paul asks: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for? A: It's Braille for "suck here".


Sunday, June 2, 2013

BELLY BOY GETTING POLITICAL: The American Caste System/The Belly Plan


Political analyst, glutton extraordinaire, food critic, author of the Belly Report, rap artist, globe trotter, social commentator and Internet reporter Belly Boy opines on the social/sexual changes and the need for a caste system due to the effects of the obesity bloom and growing foodist and gluttony movements.
 
Belly Boy's Skinny Body Double
BELLY BOY SPEAKS and People Listen!
by Belly Boy
 





Boom Shakka Lakka,
OINK OINK OINK
Boom Shakka Lakka,
BOINK BOINK BOINK!
Boom Shakka Lakka,
Move in with Jenna
Boom Shakka Lakka,
She'll make you sing like a tenor
Boom Shakka Lakka,
She's a FFA
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
Move in with her today!

I do see your point and every fat guy's point about women with low standards having some serious advantages. First, they don't care how fat you get or about money. They just need someone to provide emotional support and occasionally say insensitive things like "Yo, why don't you wear no tube tops no more?" And then if she wears them a lot you go "Yo, why you wear tube tops all the time? I bet not catch yo' ass cheating on me!"

A woman with high standards will expect you to have a good job, be reasonably fit, not be fat, be emotionally available, munch carpet, take her places, buy her things, etc. NO THANKS!! I ain't no skinny boy, I'm a BELLY BOY and FOOD IS MY JOY.

Promoting Low Standards is Key
 
We need to start figuring out a way to ensure that more skinny women have low standards, otherwise they will continue to breed with skinny guys and potentially breed a master weight class of thinlings that will potentially enslave the fat class or put us in fat internment camps. Us fat folks make awful slaves, but we are highly vulnerable because we are so dependent on food and porn, both regular, extra-skinny, and yes even SSBBW porn. I think that SSBBW porn should mainly be for thin men, and skinny women porn should be reserved for us fat men. This will encourage skinny men to bulk up, and fat women to slim down.

We do need some thinlings for the military, sports, etc, but they need to be placed under fat leadership. In other words, we need SSBHMs and SSBBWs in our elected government positions in order to keep the thinlings in check. As we continue to grow both in size and in numbers, the National Association for the Advancement of Eating Amazing Things (NAAEAT) will become a potent political force, with me as the head. We will advocate for all new Supreme Court Justices to be morbidly obese, and encourage existing ones to bulk up by adding more and better food to the Supreme Court Cafeteria.

A New American Caste System

We will promote a new caste system, defined not by race as in the 18th, 19th, and much of the 20th century, nor by wealth as during the 20th and first part of the 21st century. Instead, we will be based upon Body Mass Index. The fatter you are, the better. However, my plan also leaves open the chance for athletic women who are technically obese but actually aren't fat. These women will make excellent lovers for our fat male population, buoyed by doctor-prescribed steroids. This will increase their libidos, allowing each to service multiple fat men.

We will also allow and encourage non-steroid, non-obese women; however they will not be allowed in any leadership positions. These are for fat men and fat women only. Also steroid women because technically they are considered fat under my regime, but only on a technicality.

Jenna Talia will be able to have her pick of morbidly obese men to choose from. We will also ask her for advice on how to encourage more non-fat women to lust after obese men.

BELLY BOY, GETTING POLITICAL

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Animal Planet's Mermaid Hoax

Misinformation is conveyed in many different ways. Propaganda and its dissemination is both an art and a science there is an old saying in the Republican Party that goes,"if you tell a lie long enough and loud enough eventually people will believe it." Lies and propaganda are is old as man himself. These days lies and propaganda had become very sophisticated. Let's take Alex Jones. Alex Jones says a lot of things that simply aren't true and the guy acts like a lunatic while he is saying them but occasionally Alex Jones says something of great importance regarding some sort of conspiracy and often what he says is the truth but nobody's going to believe it because Alex Jones who is seen as a crackpot said it.

Anyone who watched animal planet's show about mermaids viewed it with a healthy dose of skepticism but as the show went on the people involved began to garner more credibility with the viewers and eventually people became more and more convinced that there are indeed mermaids and that the United States Navy was covering up there existence so that they could continue development of a sonar weapon. By the end of the show there were people who were still skeptical and other people who believed that there are indeed mermaids. It all makes sense. Humans do cry salt tears and we are the only mammals we do. Humans can hold their breath longer than any other mammal. Humans didn't evolve from a common ancestor that came from the ocean as all life did but then returned to the ocean. This was the true part. The lies were that PT Barnum had an actual mermaids specimen, mermaids were found washed up on a beach, a mermaid was sighted off the coast of Israel, and mermaids were photographed and videotaped at the basin oil rig.

Here's what you not being told!

Everyone knows that there are a lot of humans waddling around or rolling around who are referred to in the common parlance as land whales. Another common term for chubby men are seals and walruses. Human land whales, seals and walruses are indeed real, we see them every day but what scientist will not tell you is that this is part of the evolutionary process. As you can tell from the picture at the top of this blog human beings are evolving into another species and it is starting with obesity. We are developing thick layers of fat so that we can survive in aquatic environments. We are also becoming immobile in a terrestrial world. The scientific team here at bigger fatter politics has been looking at various ways to defeat gravity or reduce it enough so that fat people could get fatter and still have adequate mobility. Scientists sometimes develop tunnel vision and this is true of our esteemed scientists such as Dr Eaton, Dr. Burger and Dr Grazenheimer. Dr. Grazenheimer has in working on antigravity devices that would allow fatlings to overcome the effects of gravity. While in theory this shows promise for the gravitationally challenged its practical application is decades away. Staring us in the face has been the solution all along, good old-fashioned H2O. Once in water fat people can move just fine. This is not to say that that people can ever become the next Michael Phelps but we all know that when in water we become white as a feather. Because of our thick thick thick layers of fat we are designed to prevent thermal conductivity caused by water. If we jump in a cold pool of water we don't start shivering like a skinny person does but instead we feel cool until we exert ourselves now we get warm and in turn we warm up the water. Mostly however,  our blubber insulates us from the heat robbing effects of cold water. That is the purpose of blubber. It's no mystery as to why fat people can withstand the cold.


Like it or not, the evolutionary process is currently taking place. A lot of things drive the evolutionary process and one of the main drivers of evolution is food. Let's take the giraffe. The giraffe developed a long neck so that he could reach food that other animals could not. Our food is making us fat and in order to survive we can either eat different food or adapt to our growing obesity and seeing as how we are not going to give up the food we love more than life itself we are going to have to adapt and like the aquatic ape, the land whale will once again return to the ocean. We will be at a great advantage as ocean dwelling creatures. Because we have more intelligence than any other creature we will not only survive but we will thrive. For millions of years we will retain our our lungs and we will be mammals much like a walrus or the elephant seal.

I am bringing forth this fact to let you know that what the animal planet network did with its show


about mermaids was a classic attempt at propaganda. To mermaids exist? Who knows? Mermaids could indeed exist but now when someone brings up that possibility your mind is closed because you have been lied to. It is been known for a long time by government scientists that there is a split in the human species and that a certain percentage of humans will remain terrestrial humans and that the majority of humans will become aquatic.
The obesity epidemic bloom is simply the first stage in the next great part of human evolution. This evolution will have far greater effects on the planet than any other in history. There will be billions of fat people living in Earth's oceans and the effect will be surprising. Our collective massive body heat will warm the ocean by nearly 10°F. This means that more and more of the polar ice caps will shrink and more and more landmass will become covered with water making survival for terrestrial humans more difficult. Because global warming will increase 20 or 30 fold by our presence in the water category five hurricanes will be the weak ones and hurricanes will become as powerful as EF five tornadoes. Teresstial humans will become extict or de-evolove.


Present day examples of human de-evolution exist everywhere. Leading Republicans are turning into chimpanzees and Muslims are turning into piles of shit with eyes. Some are already being called Shiites or Shits.


Sunni Muslim males are evolving into gay billy goats.