Same Shit Different Asshole

What has changed under Obama? Wall street is back raping America for record profits, Gitmo is still open, the Constitution killing Patriot act is still in place and the criminal elite are thriving.

Health care reform has done nothing to reign in health care inflation other than catching a little more billing fraud. Health care is just as dangerous under Obama as it was under Bush.

Police brutality and warrantless searches are at an all time high. We now have fake immigration check points 100 miles in from the border which are for all intents and purposes Constitution free zones. NYC now has a Gestapo policy of stop and frisk.

Illegal immigrants still pour over our border providing cheap labor for the corporatists.

The banksters got away scot-free with their massive theft.

                                         

The American Gestapo

Obama Justifies FEMA Imprisonment of Civilians:  Calls it Prolonged Detention!

Because Bigger Fatter Politics really is fair and balanced our readers come from all over the political spectrum and that is why I have posted a video of featuring my favorite lesbian Rachel Maddow (I, Fat Bastard, can convert her.)



We have had one Black President and he was our best president in modern times. Our best and "Blackest" president was Bill Clinton. Next to William Howard Taft he was also our fattest.

Enter Chris Christie. Here's a guy who tells people to go fuck themselves. Reagan was that kind of guy but Reagan used Irish diplomacy. For those of you who don't know what Irish diplomacy it is telling some one to go to hell in such a way that they enjoy the trip. Christie is blunt and about as subtle as a fat guy doing a cannon ball from the high diving board.

Here's the problem... No, it's not because he's fat and it's not because he won't get the votes. He will get the votes because most Americans are fat and that is why Hillary Clinton is beefing up in case she has to go up against Christie. Don't worry Hillary, Christie will not get the GOP nod. Like Jon Huntsman Christie is too sane, too honest and too qualified to be a Republican candidate.

I, Fat Bastard have never voted for a Republican for president but I will vote for Christie and not just because he's fat.  Christie, like Clinton and Reagan is a true leader. Governance in not some sort of intellectual exercise. For Christie governance is a job of service to citizens.

FATTITUDE!

Christie represents America because he's fat and because America is fat. Fat men can be intimidating and our enemies will be intimidated by a guy like Christie who is large and in charge. Sure Hillary is intimidating but her new found fattitude may not be a strong as Christie's.

My disappointment in Obama may not push me completely to Christie and away from Hillary but if Christie teams up with patriot Jessie Ventura I would vote for a Ventura/Christie ticket providing they run as a third party candidate.

Bush Lite

Obama is no liberal. Conservative Tony Blair is more liberal! Reagan was more liberal! Even Tricky Dick Nixon would not have raped the constitution nor permitted its rape. Tricky Dick was more liberal than Obama. I don't care what the next president calls himself just so long as he is not a lying asshole. America without the Constitution is not America so let's pick a candidate who will restore the Constitution and serve the American people are forget about the phony left vs right bullshit debate.

While Bigger Fatter Politics is not endorsing Christie at this point we would like to see him run/waddle and add his voice to the debates. We need the brutal honesty whether we agree with him or not.

Kudos to Rachel Maddow for standing up to the censoring corporate thug whores at CNBC and their parent company GE.  The only other honest voice at CNBS is Ed Shultz and they have him on the shelf for now. Ed is also fat.

Suck On My Man Titties Bitch: Why Chris "Crisco" Christie Can Beat Obama

Arnold may have been the Governator but Christie is the Gluttonator. Proudly displaying his Buddah belly Chris Christie is saying, "SUCK ON MY MAN TITTIES BITCH!"

Unless the GOP pulls its head out of its ass Obama will win and win by a landslide. It appears that Mitt Romney will be the nominee of the party. The GOP in their hypocrisy wants a corporate puppet and they don't seen to care if that puppet is far more liberal than Obama and nearly as skinny.

A normally confident Obama is awed and intimidated by Christie's girth!

CLICK HERE FOR A GUESS CHRIS CHRISTIE'S WEIGHT CONTEST

EAT!

Side note: The following shabby reporting is from The New Republic's website.

Michael Kinsley, my friend and former boss at the New Republic and Slate, has a Bloomberg column today arguing that Chris Christie's fatness is a legitimate issue in judging his fitness (no pun intended) to be president. Paul Campos, a law professor at the University of Colorado, argues elsewhere on this Web site that it isn't a legitimate issue, or, if it is, it isn't clear whether it's a minus or a plus. I take a more scientific approach to this question. Earlier this week I surveyed America's fattest presidents (defined as those with a Body Mass Index of 30 or more) and found, based on Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.'s 1996 "greatness" rankings, that collectively these lipo-Americans fell into the "average" category as presidents, albeit at its higher end. As some readers pointed out, it was a small sample--only five presidents were in the 30-plus range, and one of them was the almost pathologically vigorous Theodore Roosevelt. (Chester Arthur, 28.7, and Bill Clinton, 28.3, were our sixth- and seventh-fattest presidents, but being shy of 30 they did not meet the medical definition of obesity. Interestingly, we have only ever had one president who was medically obese and also a Democrat. That was Grover "Where's My Pa?" Cleveland. Three of the others were Republicans and the fifth was a Whig. Draw whatever conclusions you like.)

Bigger and more pear shaped Republican William Howard Taft was hands down our fattest and best president ever. Unlike today's apple shaped Republicans Taft was a compassionate man who did even more trust busting than fellow Bull Moose Party and Republican Party fatling Teddy Roosevelt.

TAFT = FATT! Just move the letters around!

Leave it to a hack conservative journalist to get the facts wrong.  The fattest president was William Howard Taft! I guess they didn't want people finding out that Big Bill Taft like Big Bill Clinton cared about the little guy. Pear shaped fatlings are the most compassionate. Christie appear to be PearApple blend.




Getting back to Christie: He has fattitude and right now the GOP base wants a president with fattitude as do all fat Americans. Unlike that bean pole Romney Christie is not only real fat he's real.


DO THE MATH! 73% of Americans are fat! The candidate who wins the fat vote wins the election.


The Fat Girl Problem For Christie
 
Fat girls just swoon over guys like Obama. The late Tupac Shakurr was right when he said, "skinny Niggaz can really throw the dick" Obama is probably hung like a mule to boot and fat girls like sausage whether it is attached to a handsome man like their dreamy Barack or sitting on a plate at IHOP next to a towering stack of flap jacks. Most fat girls refer to themselves as a hot mamas for Obama. They want a president that reminds them of when some skinny guy got drunk and porked the shit out of them. Christie's belly may be be seen as a gas tank for the love machine by skinny chicks who can get on top are concerned but too many a fat girl recalls being disappointed by a fat boy like Chris Christie who was unable to complete docking maneuvers do to buried penis syndrome and pannicular obstruction. 




Obama is working hard for the fat vote. He is showing that he can chow down when need be. This could backfire among savvy male gluttons who think he may be trying too hard but fat boys unlike fat girls like hanging around skinny handsome men to pick up the rejects.

 

The Need For A Third Party

I, Fat Bastard am a registered Republican but once again I will be voting for Obama. Why Fat Bastard, why would you a registered Republican vote for Obama? First off, I like the first lady's ba donka donk, but more than that the party of Lincoln and the party of Reagan has become the party of fools, pedophiles and womanizers. Sure the greed and gluttony is still there but as the saying goes, "if you want to want to live like a Republican vote for a Democrat. I know that if Chris Christie were running as a Republican I'd vote for him. That guy is large and in charge and that is what we need but beyond that Governor Chris Crisco Christie is one big fat lard ass just like me. If he were in the GOP debates he'd chew em all up and shit them all out. The only Republican with any idea about the needs of fat people is former GOP hopeful Spermin Herman Cain. Godfather Pizzas are almost as good a Pizza Hut's.

Republican values of greed and gluttony are not the only values that they have left. They are a party of warmongers, liars, closeted homos and worst of all pedophiles. To a Reagan Republican like me, Fat Bastard, they are an embarrassment. Therefore, as the leader of the New Fat Acceptance Movement I therefor declare  the existence if a viable third party that will represent the needs and views of the majority of Americans. I, Fat Bastard give you the Reblubberlican Party.

The elephant will be replaced by the Golden Pig

Americans for the most part are greedy gluttons and as we all know greed is what made this country great.






We will kick out the serial womanizers like Gingrich, peaceniks like Ron Paul, closet homos like Rick Perry but we want real homos because gay men make the best chefs. Our mission will be to spread Reblubberican values through out the world. Food will be are weapon. of choice and if some rag head country won't get in line we will send out some predator drone and bomb their skinny asses back to the stone age.

Our main concern with the GOP is there epidemic of pedophiles. Republican Pedophiles Have Destroyed the GOP  Greed and lust are good things BUT baby rape isn't. Too many sick and twisted freaks have joined the GOP aka Group Of Perverts. We will not allow Republican Sex Offenders to become Reblubbericans. As the party of greedy gluttony guys who can't get laid will replace sex with food. We will also legalize prostitution and will will even have skinny whores available to fat guys like me who will offer their services free of charge or on a sliding fee scale and the government will make up the difference.

A return to the Moon 


Fat people are gravitationally challenged here on earth. It is time for us to return to a colonize the moon. But Fat Bastard there's no air on the moon you declare. My response is, we don't need no stinking air. Many of us fat asses are on oxygen.

Why the Moon

The most obvious reason for living on the moon is the 1/4 gravity. Gravity sucks so the less we have the better.


Sustaining a colony of fatlings on the moon will create jobs building space ships to deliver food and other supplies.

Satellite TV will work great on the moon until the atmosphere forms form all our breathing and we fatlings breath a lot. We will create enough CO2 for plant life to grow on the moon and then we can fly up cows and chickens and without gravity they will get huge!

The other huge advantage to being on the moon is helium 3. What the fuck is Helium 3? Helium 3 is a safe fusionable material  that can replace plutonium and unranium in today's nuclear reactors. Since us fatlings are great with computers we can control the robotic ships and the robotic mining.

Skinny Ho Heidi Fliess

Fat hos will be made available to skinny guys who can't get laid

We need to end discontent. Comfort food does that. The Beatles said that all you need is love well they got it half right. All you need is food because food is love and when people get fat they don't want to fight wars and even if they did they would be too fat to do so.

No more tiny 767s, Passenger planes will be HUGE!

Thanksgiving will be celebrated weekly

Anyone who is fat will be rewarded with a power chair. This 48" wide chair will be the smallest power chair available.