More Sage Advice From Reverend Burn

Belly Boy For President

Our favorite son Belly Boy is being drafted to run for President of the United States of America. For those of you who don't think that Belly Boy is presidential timber consider the fact that our two greatest presidents, William Howard Taft and William Jefferson Clinton. Based on poundage alone Belly Boy will without a doubt me the greatest president ever.

William Howard Taft

More to follow as facts emerge.

UPDATE!

Introducing Belly Boy's Platform

OUR NEXT PRESIDENT BELLY BOY (WILL NOT BE SILENCED! 

 

This is a draft of Belly Boy's speech he will be giving at the NAFAM convention. 

In these days of government cutbacks, it seems irresponsible to add newfangled procedures that are not necessarily in everyone's best interests. First off, these are old people who are on Medicare, generally. If you're old and fat, congratulations, you won! You beat out the early heart disease deaths, and if you have diabetes you've overcome that too. 

 

What we do not need to do as a society is engage in cannibalistic behavior such as pannus removals. What about the belly buttons? They have to be replaced with surgical creations, which are inferior. 

 

What about the inevitable weight regain? It will stretch out the skin even thinner than before, causing more injuries. You can't just carve off hunks of flesh and expect that to destroy the gluttonous instincts of the person cocooned inside that meatiest of barriers. Instead of focusing on things that would turn gluttons into normalings - which would be the only thing that could work in the long term - they are instead going for procedures that will make more money for doctors and bankrupt Medicare. People will think they can just gain 100 lbs and have it hacked off for free, and then do it again and again. Well, I think that if you want to enjoy the chocolate dipped fruits of gluttony, then you also have a duty to embrace the sensuality of it all by being large and in charge. If you want to lose weight then don't ask the government for help. If the government is going to get into the business of weight loss, maybe it should stop providing 1,500 calorie lunches in school cafeterias first. But of course that will never happen because we demand flavor. Therefore, let us just eat our Reese's Pieces in peace. We are the 75%, and our voices will not be silenced. By the way, I am working on the Pizza Party platform, and I have a few things settled on for now:

 

Belly Boy's Fat form Platform

 

Here BELLY BOY shows his ability to be commander in chief   

 

USS Belly Boy

 

1) All US aircraft must be retrofitted to bariatric proportions, with at least 4 foot wide aisles and two foot wide seats. I recommend switching to a more convenient "around the edges" style of seating. Instead of just rows, you put the seats up against the windows to provide extra room. Then we'll just build more planes to compensate for the lower number of seats, which stimulates the economy and creates jobs. 

 

 

2) Remove all federal funding for every school in the country, UNLESS, they institute Competitive Eating as a sport, and make it something that is taught in physical education. It is the sport of the future and it helps kids eat more, which stimulates the economy and creates jobs. (Here Belly Boy shows his grasp of the importance of education and how a strong educational system is vital to a strong economy) 

 

Autobahn or Bellybahn?

3) Widen the federal highway system to add extra lanes on each side. This will allow more cars to go on each side, which allows for faster transportation. This will counteract the effect of our weight increase on our fuel efficiency (fatter people get slightly worse gas mileage) which stimulates the economy and creates jobs. (Here Belly Boy's vision comes through. He sees that a solid infrastructure both directly and indirectly stimulates they economy while showing that the best economic stimulus is gluttony and obesity) 

 

Skinny angry Arab!

Fat Happy Arab

4) Promote peace in the Middle East through the promotion of obesity. Free food programs will fatten up the bad guys, making them too jowly not to be jolly, and ensuring that the groups will get along. (Peace through food has always proven more effective than bomb. Fatlings are lovers not fighters. Belly Boy's grasp of foreign policy makes Henry Kissinger look like a rookie.) 

 

5) No more toothbrushes. (Tooth decay helps our dentists. Belly Boy is a visionary!) 

 

6) Create the Obesity Rights Act Law (ORAL) that would make it a serious criminal offense to discriminate against fat people in the workplace. 

 

7) Affatative Action: For every 300 pounds of skinny employees who weigh less than 150 lbs each that are hired, the company MUST hire at least one employee weighing 300 or more pounds. This will get us fat folks back into the fold, which stimulates the economy and creates jobs. (Belly Boy is pushing the US towards a fair much needed labor amendment) 

 

8) Work Optional for 500+ Pounders: We will all get a free pass regarding work. As we are the elite of the elite, we will not have to provide for society and instead society must provide for us. We will have the right to demand the sexual services of any unmarried woman aged 20 to 40, once per week. Each woman may only be chosen once in any two week period, unless she pays a special tax. This one will probably require some sort of constitutional amendment, which will stimulate the economy and create jobs. (Belly Boys brilliance shines through once again. Hogging food is good for the economy while hogging jobs isn't. 500 pounders create jobs! Why should they work? Because hookers don't pay taxes they will pay taxes with pro bono sex for the fat elite.) 

 

 

9) The Work Optional rule will only apply to the fattest 5% of the population. Just like there's an inflation index, there will be an obesity index, which changes what is considered Massive Status, which gets you the gold royalty treatment I described. (Brilliant!) 

 

10) All male news anchors will be required to weigh at least 300 lbs. (Belly Boy demonstrates he keen understanding of culture and technology. With today's wide screen TVs news anchors should all be meat faced.)

Medicare Revises Obesity Coverage Policy

Policy opens door to coverage of anti-obesity interventions

Surgeons preparing freshly removed pannus for the grill!

A simple revision to a government policy manual may at last make it possible for seniors and disabled       

Americans to have treatments for  diseases related to obesity covered under Medicare.

The revised policy announced by the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) removes language in the Medicare Coverage Issues Manual stating that obesity is not an illness. This step allows members of the public to request that Medicare review medical evidence to determine whether specific treatments related to obesity would be covered by Medicare.

Another perfectly healthy pannus is removed and soaked in marinade and readied for the BBQ pit. YUM!

"Obesity is a critical public health problem in our country that causes millions of Americans to suffer unnecessary health problems and to die prematurely. Treating obesity-related illnesses and complications adds billions of dollars to the nation's health care costs," said HHS Secretary Thompson during testimony before the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Labor, Health and Human Services and Education. "With this new policy, Medicare will be able to review scientific evidence in order to determine which interventions improve health outcomes for seniors and disabled Americans who are obese and its many associated medical conditions."

Also called a meat skirt, will greedy surgeons be lopping these extra body parts off and serving them at dinner as meat skirt steaks?

By law, Medicare covers specified medically necessary services for illness and injury. The prior manual language, because it stated that obesity was not an illness, could prevent Medicare from covering treatments for diseases related to obesity.

"From the standpoint of Medicare coverage and the health of our beneficiaries, the question isn't whether obesity is a disease or a risk factor. What matters is whether there's scientific evidence that an obesity-related medical treatment improves health," said CMS Administrator Mark McClellan, M.D., Ph.D. "This change in Medicare's coverage policy puts the focus on public health. The medical science will now determine whether we provide coverage for the treatments that reduce complications and improve quality of life for the millions of Medicare beneficiaries who are obese."

The new policy is not expected to have an immediate impact on Medicare coverage. It does not affect the existing Medicare coverage of treatments of diseases resulting in or made worse by obesity, in particular currently covered surgical treatments for morbidly obese individuals.

However, as requests for coverage of obesity treatments are made by the public, Medicare will implement timely review of the scientific evidence, using the coverage determination procedures established in 1999 and modified by the Medicare Modernization Act of 2003. Detailed information on this process can be found on the Medicare coverage Web sitewww.cms.gov/coverage. Essential to this process is the submission of published, clinical trial data that demonstrate that obesity-related treatments improve the health of Medicare beneficiaries.

"We encourage and we're expecting requests to review scientific evidence evaluating the benefits of a range of treatments for obesity in the Medicare population," said CMS Chief Medical Officer Sean Tunis, M.D. "As a first step, we expect to convene our Medicare Coverage Advisory Committee in the fall to evaluate the evidence on obesity-related surgical procedures that may reduce the risk of heart disease and other illnesses."

More information about this major Medicare policy revision can be found athttp://www.cms.hhs.gov/ncdr/searchdisplay.asp?id=57

Dietetic Association Hails New Medicare Obesity Policy

More on Medicare

• Medicare Primer
• When Medicare Won't Pay, Appeal
• Medicare Drug Card Prices Beat Internet & Mail-order

More on Obesity

• Big Brother, Thinner Brother
• Obesity, Diabetes on the Increase in US
• 64 Percent of Americans are Overweight

Related Articles

• Medicare and Obesity - Medicare Coverage of Obesity Treatment
• Dietetic Association Hails New Medicare Obesity Policy
• US Government Info, - Articles
• Medicare Coverage - Review of Booklet About Medicare Coverage
• Treatment Insurance Coverage Falls Short

I Fat Bastard am stumped on this one. As our millions of readers know Bigger Fatter Politics is weight loss diet neutral but this smacks of weight loss surgery and we are four square meals plus a few snacks against it. I would encourage our readers to provide their opinions and insight on this. I will also be contacting Coach Gains, Dr Gerald "Teddy" Bear, Former Dean of Feederism Proud FA, The Chef, and our investigative reporter Belly Boy to get to the bottom of this and let us know that it means for fatlings everywhere.

Fat People and The Second Amendment.

Need I say more? Yes I do! This fatling's stable firing platform is impressive.

I Fat Bastard, fully support the right to keep and arm bears.

Impressive Fatlings: Care and Feeding

This guy Barry Austin is one of the most impressive fatlings I have ever seen. OINK!  This guy is actually not the fattest guy in Britain at a mere 700 lbs but what he lacks in bulk he more than make up in fattitude. His greedy gluttony is the sort of behavior that should be modeled by every fatling in the world.

I am almost ashamed at times that I, Fat Bastard, am the de facto leader of the fat acceptance  movement when I see impressive specimens like these great folks. I am humbled by their sheer size and I would grovel at their largeness.

This poor bloke is outraged by cruel cuts in his benefits. Now he has to wipe his own butt and bath himself. This is an outrage. Where's NAAFA?!

NOTE: Special thanks to our obesity correspondent Belly Boy for bringing this story to Bigger Fatter Politics.

Belly Boy scooped all the other fat acceptance site by uncovering this very important story. Here is Belly Boy's report


Check out this heroic British man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQjaZ6dmhSY

He weighs 50 stone, which is 700 lbs! His best friend takes him to a big breakfast every day, and then his girlfriend scrubs him down. He is a mere pup compared to me, though. My Asian girlfriend lathers me up with lots of skin moisturizers. 

Reporting from the World Wide Web free lance reporter and uber fatling..... Belly Boy





As a tribute to Belly Boy Bigger Fatter Politics will be featuring bellies that look like cartoon characters.



What famous person does this belly resemble?


Lying cry baby drunk douche bag John Boehner perhaps?

Too Much Greedy Gluttony?

This is a debate that I, Fat Bastard have with myself.  As we fatlings waddle up to the all you can eat buffet and greedily load our plates sky high with glorious glorious food I have to ask myself are we being like the corporate gangsters that everyone despises?  I actually have a certain admiration for these lazy, slothful money gluttons. They are like a whale shark at the mouth of a river who just languishes there, mouth open, and effortlessly taking in food and getting bigger and fatter until the point he is so big and fat that nobody can fuck with him.  Then I sit down and after the first morsel of delicious food passes my lips I think about what is truly important and that is FOOD!


Seasons Greedings

The Need For A Third Party

I, Fat Bastard am a registered Republican but once again I will be voting for Obama. Why Fat Bastard, why would you a registered Republican vote for Obama? First off, I like the first lady's ba donka donk, but more than that the party of Lincoln and the party of Reagan has become the party of fools, pedophiles and womanizers. Sure the greed and gluttony is still there but as the saying goes, "if you want to want to live like a Republican vote for a Democrat. I know that if Chris Christie were running as a Republican I'd vote for him. That guy is large and in charge and that is what we need but beyond that Governor Chris Crisco Christie is one big fat lard ass just like me. If he were in the GOP debates he'd chew em all up and shit them all out. The only Republican with any idea about the needs of fat people is former GOP hopeful Spermin Herman Cain. Godfather Pizzas are almost as good a Pizza Hut's.

Republican values of greed and gluttony are not the only values that they have left. They are a party of warmongers, liars, closeted homos and worst of all pedophiles. To a Reagan Republican like me, Fat Bastard, they are an embarrassment. Therefore, as the leader of the New Fat Acceptance Movement I therefor declare  the existence if a viable third party that will represent the needs and views of the majority of Americans. I, Fat Bastard give you the Reblubberlican Party.

The elephant will be replaced by the Golden Pig

Americans for the most part are greedy gluttons and as we all know greed is what made this country great.






We will kick out the serial womanizers like Gingrich, peaceniks like Ron Paul, closet homos like Rick Perry but we want real homos because gay men make the best chefs. Our mission will be to spread Reblubberican values through out the world. Food will be are weapon. of choice and if some rag head country won't get in line we will send out some predator drone and bomb their skinny asses back to the stone age.

Our main concern with the GOP is there epidemic of pedophiles. Republican Pedophiles Have Destroyed the GOP  Greed and lust are good things BUT baby rape isn't. Too many sick and twisted freaks have joined the GOP aka Group Of Perverts. We will not allow Republican Sex Offenders to become Reblubbericans. As the party of greedy gluttony guys who can't get laid will replace sex with food. We will also legalize prostitution and will will even have skinny whores available to fat guys like me who will offer their services free of charge or on a sliding fee scale and the government will make up the difference.

A return to the Moon 


Fat people are gravitationally challenged here on earth. It is time for us to return to a colonize the moon. But Fat Bastard there's no air on the moon you declare. My response is, we don't need no stinking air. Many of us fat asses are on oxygen.

Why the Moon

The most obvious reason for living on the moon is the 1/4 gravity. Gravity sucks so the less we have the better.


Sustaining a colony of fatlings on the moon will create jobs building space ships to deliver food and other supplies.

Satellite TV will work great on the moon until the atmosphere forms form all our breathing and we fatlings breath a lot. We will create enough CO2 for plant life to grow on the moon and then we can fly up cows and chickens and without gravity they will get huge!

The other huge advantage to being on the moon is helium 3. What the fuck is Helium 3? Helium 3 is a safe fusionable material  that can replace plutonium and unranium in today's nuclear reactors. Since us fatlings are great with computers we can control the robotic ships and the robotic mining.

Skinny Ho Heidi Fliess

Fat hos will be made available to skinny guys who can't get laid

We need to end discontent. Comfort food does that. The Beatles said that all you need is love well they got it half right. All you need is food because food is love and when people get fat they don't want to fight wars and even if they did they would be too fat to do so.

No more tiny 767s, Passenger planes will be HUGE!

Thanksgiving will be celebrated weekly

Anyone who is fat will be rewarded with a power chair. This 48" wide chair will be the smallest power chair available.